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View Full Version : OFFICIAL "You call that a sport!?" THREAD



mdklatt
8/9/2008, 03:03 PM
It's time once again for the "WTF is that an Olympic event?" airing of grievances. I posit that in order to be included in the Olympics, an event has to be a legitimate sport. Of course, the definition of sport is pretty wide open, but I think it must combine skill and physical exertion. Every Olympic event requires skill, but some of them don't require any discernible exertion. There's also an intangible gheyness factor that can disqualify something from being a sport. For example, ballroom dancing requires skill and exertion, but really? (I see that ballroom dancing is no longer an Olympic event.)

I'll start us off.

Dressage, aka fancy horse walking. Not a sport. I'm sure it involves more physical exertion than is obvious, but when combined with the gheyness, it needs to be gone. I'm dubious about the equestrian events in the Olympics in general--shouldn't the horse get the medal?


Air Pistol. No discernible effort whatsoever. Stand around for a few minutes, lift your 3.3 lb (max) pistol, aim, pbfft!, stand around some more. Not a sport. Now Biathalon in the Winter Olympics--that's a sport. A goofy sport (cross country skiing + shooting = WTF?), but still a sport.


Badminton and/or Table Tennis. Ditch at least one of these. The skill and effort are obvious, but c'mon. What's next? Croquet? Lawn Darts? Maybe this is a corollary to the gheyness rule, but if it's dominated by Asian countries (or Asians living in other countries (http://www.nbcolympics.com/athletes/athlete=826/bio/index.html)), it can't possibly be a legitimate sport.

Rhythmic Gymnastics. I'm torn on this because I love watching it, but it's an artistic activity, not a sport.

Synchronized Swimming. I think this one is self-explanatory (although it's fun to watch, too).

soonersn20xx
8/9/2008, 03:15 PM
I bet your were the same guy that complained when Sports Illustrated had Cheryl Tiegs in a bikini on their cover, "showing nips through a mesh bikini is not a sport dammit" :P

NYC Poke
8/9/2008, 03:15 PM
The fake sports don't bother me as much as the fake countries. I've been looking at maps and globes and stuff my whole life, and I've never seen some of these. Where do they hide?

Burkina Faso? I don't think so. Comoros? Come one, get real. Saint Vincent and the Grenadines? That's not a country, that's a doo-wop band.

King Crimson
8/9/2008, 03:21 PM
hard time caring about the olympics. track and field, OK. the rest. yawn.

StoopTroup
8/9/2008, 05:26 PM
In the Winter...this one bothered me at first but after watching and learning more about it...

I like it.

Curling is cool and don't be hatin' on Ping Pong and Badminton.

http://www.belvedere-wengen.ch/fileadmin/user_upload/Curling.JPG

mdklatt
8/9/2008, 05:40 PM
In the Winter...this one bothered me at first but after watching and learning more about it...

I like it.


The main thing curling has against it (other than the fact that it was obviously invented by a bunch of drunk Canadians one winter night in rural Saskatchewan) is the uniforms. Polo shirt, dark slacks, shoes with non-slip soles--it's hard to tell a curling team from the night crew at McDonald's. :D But I was impressed by our Curl Girls last time, so it can stay.

GottaHavePride
8/9/2008, 05:52 PM
Sanka! You dead?

Ya, mon.

You can pee now.

Too late.

RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/9/2008, 06:24 PM
soccer...go figure.

soonersn20xx
8/9/2008, 06:27 PM
George Bush believes in beach volleyball as a sport, he should smacked that rearend. Great bodies out there but there are some butterfaces too.

http://pix.nofrag.com/1/5/b/cb09264ebe24378644f69fc3ff877.jpg (http://pix.nofrag.com/1/5/b/cb09264ebe24378644f69fc3ff877.html)

Rogue
8/9/2008, 06:36 PM
It seems every hobby and pastime is now an Olympic Event. (http://en.beijing2008.cn/)

Canoe/Kayak = Hobby
Sailing = Hobby
Trampoline = WTF?
Handball = Double WTF?

Just a matter of time before golf is an "event."

StoopTroup
8/9/2008, 07:22 PM
Paintball

tommieharris91
8/9/2008, 07:27 PM
soccer...go figure.

It seems every hobby and pastime is now an Olympic Event. (http://en.beijing2008.cn/)

Canoe/Kayak = Hobby
Sailing = Hobby
Trampoline = WTF?
Handball = Double WTF?

Just a matter of time before golf is an "event."

You should try those yourself.

Rogue
8/9/2008, 07:30 PM
You should try those yourself.

I have. With mixed results. Not knocking the difficulty, just the Olympic-ness of them.


Merriam-Webster

1 a: a source of diversion : recreation b: sexual play c (1): physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in

So, yeah, I'm saying some of my diversions and recreations are more hobbies than "olympic caliber" activities.

tulsaoilerfan
8/9/2008, 07:43 PM
They have some of the most ridiculous events, but baseball and softball have been dropped after this year

mdklatt
8/9/2008, 07:46 PM
Canoe/Kayak = Hobby
Sailing = Hobby


How are these not sports?



Trampoline = WTF?


Yeah, I don't know about that one. Just make it one of the gymnastics events if it has to be in there.



Handball = Double WTF?


I don't think it's the handball you're thinking of. I thought the same thing until I saw some of it online last night. It's a soccer-like team sport, not two yuppies playing in a little room. :D

mdklatt
8/9/2008, 07:47 PM
They have some of the most ridiculous events, but baseball and softball have been dropped after this year

Really? Why?

mdklatt
8/9/2008, 07:53 PM
So, yeah, I'm saying some of my diversions and recreations are more hobbies than "olympic caliber" activities.

Anything can be a pastime depending on who is doing it.

intramural sports = hobby
intercollegiate sports = ?

Sailing has been in the Olympics since 1896. If rowing is a "sport", why not kayaking and canoing? The flatwater events are just like rowing except the boat is different, and the whitewater events are rowing combined with slalom skiing.

royalfan5
8/9/2008, 08:01 PM
Really? Why?

It's not really widespread enough or played at a high enough level in the Olympics to justify it. Say what you want about some of the other "sports" but it is generally the highest level of competition in the world in those "sports".

RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!
8/9/2008, 08:43 PM
It's not really widespread enough or played at a high enough level in the Olympics to justify it. Say what you want about some of the other "sports" but it is generally the highest level of competition in the world in those "sports".IMO the olympics are crying "uncle" to the USA's softball teams. Our girls have beaten the holy snot out of everyone, I believe, and there's just no meaningful competition.

GottaHavePride
8/9/2008, 08:50 PM
Yeah, no one else really plays basebal or softball like the U.S.

Soccer, on the other hand, is the single biggest international sport you can find. Anywhere. The U.S. is the only country full of hillbillies that don't "get" soccer. Only problem is that when it comes to soccer, the Olympics are second place to the World Cup.

royalfan5
8/9/2008, 09:10 PM
Yeah, no one else really plays basebal or softball like the U.S.

Soccer, on the other hand, is the single biggest international sport you can find. Anywhere. The U.S. is the only country full of hillbillies that don't "get" soccer. Only problem is that when it comes to soccer, the Olympics are second place to the World Cup.

We have been pretty decent at Women's Soccer though.

tulsaoilerfan
8/9/2008, 10:02 PM
Yeah, no one else really plays basebal or softball like the U.S.

Soccer, on the other hand, is the single biggest international sport you can find. Anywhere. The U.S. is the only country full of hillbillies that don't "get" soccer. Only problem is that when it comes to soccer, the Olympics are second place to the World Cup.

I think Cuba, Japan, and the Dominican might argue that

royalfan5
8/9/2008, 10:05 PM
I think Cuba, Japan, and the Dominican might argue that

And the best players from the latter two are productively engaged in Pennant Races this time of year.

Mjcpr
8/9/2008, 10:07 PM
Soccer, on the other hand, is the single biggest international sport you can find. Anywhere. The U.S. is the only country full of hillbillies that don't "get" soccer. Only problem is that when it comes to soccer, the Olympics are second place to the World Cup.

Why are we hillbillies because we don't "get" soccer? Soccer is boring as ****. It is basically grass hockey and hockey is boring as **** too.

tommieharris91
8/9/2008, 10:19 PM
Why are we hillbillies because we don't "get" soccer? Soccer is boring as ****. It is basically grass hockey and hockey is boring as **** too.

Other countries have hillbillies too.

Tulsa_Fireman
8/9/2008, 10:20 PM
Let 'em hit.

Then and only then will it not be ghey.

TheHumanAlphabet
8/9/2008, 11:13 PM
I am not following the propaganda olympics. Could care not about it and will be happy to read the medal counts in the paper. I'm hoping for much smog in the air and more green slim in the water. Sad news about the death of the coach's in-law. So wonder why the Commie Pinko knifed the guy and wife? Still mad at CNN?

SCOUT
8/9/2008, 11:28 PM
Sorry to go back to the first post so late in the game, but this idea is too great to pass up

What's next? ... Lawn Darts?
Olympic lawn darts should be added to the competition for 2008. Think of the Olympic perfection. It allows various countries to come together in a public forum and in the spirit of open competition. It also allows them to compete properly while there still would be a chance (intentional or unintentional?) that they could knock off a rival. For the triumvirate of greatness, we could watch this potentially lethal game of international intrigue while remembering the games of our youth. OK, my youth but you get the idea.

Bring on the Lawn Darts!

silverwheels
8/9/2008, 11:31 PM
Soccer is boring as ****. It is basically grass hockey and hockey is boring as **** too.

Not to me. I love both sports, while I find basketball to be largely boring and not entertaining.

mdklatt
8/9/2008, 11:35 PM
Only problem is that when it comes to soccer, the Olympics are second place to the World Cup.

And the World Cup is second place to UEFA.

Mjcpr
8/9/2008, 11:35 PM
Not to me. I love both sports, while I find basketball to be largely boring and not entertaining.

You are what is called "the minority" or else US sports would be dominated by those instead of the NFL, MLB and NBA. I'm not saying nobody likes them, I'm just saying most people don't and I'm one of those people.

silverwheels
8/9/2008, 11:43 PM
You are what is called "the minority" or else US sports would be dominated by those instead of the NFL, MLB and NBA. I'm not saying nobody likes them, I'm just saying most people don't and I'm one of those people.

Well, I'm also not one to like/dislike something because everyone else likes/dislikes it (the current UFC/MMA fad comes to mind).

Mjcpr
8/9/2008, 11:45 PM
Well, I'm also not one to like/dislike something because everyone else likes/dislikes it (the current UFC/MMA fad comes to mind).

Speaking only for myself, I prefer the NFL, MLB and NBA to soccer because I find soccer boring as ****; not because everyone else likes the NFL, MLB and NBA.

silverwheels
8/9/2008, 11:48 PM
Speaking only for myself, I prefer the NFL, MLB and NBA to soccer because I find soccer boring as ****; not because everyone else likes the NFL, MLB and NBA.

USA! USA! USA!

Jacie
8/10/2008, 02:16 PM
In the Winter...this one bothered me at first but after watching and learning more about it...

I like it.

Curling is cool and don't be hatin' on Ping Pong and Badminton.

http://www.belvedere-wengen.ch/fileadmin/user_upload/Curling.JPG

Curling is on television every Saturday here (we get CBC on our cable) and some of the Canadian curling babes are hotties. It might be the only Olympic sport where having big boobs is not a detriment as it is to the ladies who are gymnasts, swimmers, beach volleyballers etc.

King Crimson
8/10/2008, 02:20 PM
Yeah, no one else really plays basebal or softball like the U.S.

no one else really plays baseball....wrong. when was the last time the US won a major competition?

bluedogok
8/10/2008, 03:45 PM
I like Team Handball, my sister and I went to an event when the Olympic Festival was in OKC in 1989. It was an interesting combination of a few sports.

The oldest trophy in international sport competition is The America's Cup, sailing has been around longer than most sports have existed.

Tulsa_Fireman
8/10/2008, 04:15 PM
Sailing, it takes me away.

Whoa whoa whoa.

jkjsooner
8/10/2008, 06:02 PM
How are these not sports?



Yeah, I don't know about that one. Just make it one of the gymnastics events if it has to be in there.



I don't think it's the handball you're thinking of. I thought the same thing until I saw some of it online last night. It's a soccer-like team sport, not two yuppies playing in a little room. :D

I don't get why they have some of these crazy "sports" yet they're dropping baseball and don't have cricket or rugby. All three of those have a pretty large international following.

jkjsooner
8/10/2008, 06:04 PM
Yeah, no one else really plays basebal or softball like the U.S.



I think the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Japan, and Korea might disagree. How long has it been since the US won the gold in baseball?

Edit: I just realized several others posted the same thing.

royalfan5
8/10/2008, 06:08 PM
I think the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Japan, and Korea might disagree. How long has it been since the US won the gold in baseball?
Of course, only Cuba sends it's best players. That may have something to do with it.

jkjsooner
8/10/2008, 06:14 PM
You know what irritates me, it's how swimming gives out about a billion medals. I like the sport and the athletes kick butt but there's no reason they have to give medals for a billion permuations of strokes/distances/etc.

It kind of renders medal counts useless. Basketball and soccer are huge internation sports yet you get one medal the entire team for each sex.

I'm rooting for Phelps like most people but calling him potentially the best American Olympian is ridiculous. No, he's the best at a sport that gives out way too many medals.

Curly Bill
8/10/2008, 06:26 PM
Synchronized diving!!!

Surely there can't be anything in the word more stupid then that?

jkjsooner
8/10/2008, 06:41 PM
Synchronized diving!!!

Surely there can't be anything in the word more stupid then that?


Agree. Divers have their road to the Olympics. They didn't need to create synchronized diving. Plus, the fact that it's synchronized means that the skill level for each dive (synchronized aspect excluded) is probably much lower than individual diving.

VeeJay
8/10/2008, 06:50 PM
Chinese Checkers will never have the opportunity again it had this year to become a Sport Of Recognition.

HoserSooner
8/11/2008, 02:04 PM
Gotta agree with the curling piece...being a hoser though, I kind of have to. :D

Best part about curling (and you won't see this in the olympics), is how drunk you have to be/get before/during/after you play. I honestly believe that most people curl because they need an excuse to drink.

GrapevineSooner
8/11/2008, 02:51 PM
Curling and drinking go together like bowling and drinking, right? ;)

HoserSooner
8/11/2008, 02:53 PM
Yeah...more or less the same premise I suppose?

Replace bowling balls with curling stones, and the lanes with ice, and that sums it all up. :D

Booze seems to be the common denomindator here?

silverwheels
8/11/2008, 02:57 PM
Booze is the common denominator for a lot of things...and it's awesome.

mfosterftw
8/11/2008, 03:38 PM
Gotta agree with the curling piece...being a hoser though, I kind of have to. :D

What a dolt... Oh wait, you're in Barrie... I meant COLT! Yeah that's it. :D


Best part about curling (and you won't see this in the olympics), is how drunk you have to be/get before/during/after you play. I honestly believe that most people curl because they need an excuse to drink.

Darts is pretty much the same way. I have a book on the physics of sports and they actually address drinking and darts.

GrapevineSooner
8/11/2008, 03:56 PM
Dinking and Drarts?

HoserSooner
8/12/2008, 08:57 AM
What a dolt... Oh wait, you're in Barrie... I meant COLT! Yeah that's it. :D



Darts is pretty much the same way. I have a book on the physics of sports and they actually address drinking and darts.

Wow, someone who knows OHL teams on this board?

Impressive. :D

mfosterftw
8/12/2008, 09:52 AM
Wow, someone who knows OHL teams on this board?

I'll spare you my recitation of the 486 OPJHL teams... :)