Hampster Death

[StoopTroup]

Our Ten year old Girl is taking care of her Best Friend's Hampster.

Her BF's Grandpa died and they had to go to the funeral in San Antonio.

They are on the way home tonight.

My Wife called me and said it was dead and my Daughter is very upset.

The Wifey asks what to do with him when I got home. I told her to put him in a ziplock bag and put him in the freezer.

As she's putting him in the bag his rib cage moves.

I thought it might be an Auto-response from moving him but we took him out of the bag and he moved his head.

He's done it now 5 or 6 times. :eek:

He feels cold but we ran some water over him to see if he'd respond again and he did.

The movement isn't much but he moves.

I don't know what to think.

[StoopTroup]

He's moving his eyes now and gasping...

HOLY ****!

[Turd_Ferguson]

Give him 10 cc's of Clorox.....STAT!

[r5TPsooner]

Throw him on the grill. If he moves you're in good shape.

[StoopTroup]

Heh.

We almost killed him....


Hibernation: if the room temperature is allowed to drop below normal room temperature, hamsters will go into a sort of hibernating state, where they are very still and breathe very slowly. Many owners panic and think their hamster is dying or dead, when might be a matter of the hamster getting too cold (for exapmle if the owners go away for the day and turn the thermostat down in the house). Rewarming the hamster should be sufficient.

[soonersn20xx]

Could the little guy ate some small plastic object and it be stuck in his throat and blocking his breathing?

[r5TPsooner]

Well, is he killed and grilled or is he alive and tickin?

[StoopTroup]

It's not used to the a/c being so cold here I bet.

As soon as the Wife cupped him in her hot little hands :D he started coming out of it little by little.

She's putting him on a heating pad on low and covering him with a towel right now.

[StoopTroup]

Time will tell.

Our Golden wants to eat him bad. :D

[r5TPsooner]

Damn! I was wondering how grilled hamster tasted. I might have to resort to that when Obama takes office.:D

[StoopTroup]

He's coming around but he looks like he's choking now.

[r5TPsooner]

Hurry give him mouth to mouth. Better yet, let the kid do it.

[StoopTroup]

The Wife ain't gonna do it....lol

Note to self: Don't nickname your "Special Purpose"..."The Hamster".

[mdklatt]

Damn, I wonder how many hamsters are buried alive because of that?

[StoopTroup]

No idea.

This is freaking weird...

He still looks like a goner to me right now but...he's still kicking/ticking.

[StoopTroup]

I'm gonna take a video of him and put it on youtube.

Give me a bit...lol

[mdklatt]

Don't warm him too rapidly, you'll cause arrhythmia.

[r5TPsooner]

I'm gonna take a video of him and put it on youtube.

Give me a bit...lol


You're a sick ****!

No wonder we get along so well.:D

[misplaced_sooner]

This is a great thread.:pop:

[StoopTroup]

Here it is...:D

wp6OU3gQc-E

[soonersn20xx]

This is a great thread.:pop:

A hamster suffers for your amusement, you should be ashamed. :D

[StoopTroup]

Video numba 2 coming in a minute.

[Blue]

Heh. You can make it little buddy!!!

[StoopTroup]

Here's numba 2. :D

9APJ4JibeQc

[StoopTroup]

I don't think he made it....

He's stiff as a board now. :(

[Blue]

You caaan doo iit! :D

That hampster went to Drunkytown.

[StoopTroup]

Maybe he needs to cool off now. :D

[mdklatt]

Maybe he needs to cool off now. :D

If he doesn't make it, don't dispose of the body until you find a match to replace him. :texan:

[StoopTroup]

We're gonna put him back in his cage and sell him to a blind kid. ;)
http://www.toofunnyplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/5.jpg

[Blue]

Poor little guy. Suffocated in Stooptroups bum.:(

[StoopTroup]

Poor little guy. Suffocated in Stooptroups bum.:(

Gimme a sec...I'll give ya a video of that.

[olevetonahill]

So whos going to the pet store 1st thing this morning ?

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

The best part of that video was your commentary

[soonerbrat]

poor little guy :(

[nmsoonergirl]

I'm sad he didn't make it...really sucks for the friend to lose her grandfather and her hamster in one weekend.

The thread, however, was awesome.:O

[colleyvillesooner]

So, did he not make it for sure?

[JohnnyMack]

The best part of that video was your commentary

Come on little buddy! You can do it!!!

[SoonerJack]

This is the kind of content that keeps me coming back to the South Oval. I just wish that Youtube wasn't blocked at work.

[StoopTroup]

Well...sadly he's a goner.

Musta been an aggie hamster.

I tried to bring him back away from the light but The Reaper (T. Boone) had a tight hold on him.

[JohnnyMack]

Hamster death rattle videos on youtube.

ST I congratulate you for bringing the SO to a new low.

[StoopTroup]

Why...your most welcome.

Seriously...I was hoping he was hibernating.

I don't want to have to tell that little girl we lost him.

[soonersn20xx]

Depending on how this little girl dealt with the horrible weekend of a grandparent dying, maybe it might be better to use a white lie instead. "It ran away"?

But that would mean that your daughter would have to be trusted to see the story through.

[soonerinabilene]

spend $1.50 at the local pet store, find the closest match. Put it in the cage. If she says it looks different, tell her that it just didnt eat much because it missed her so much, so it lost some weight or something. Crisis solved.

[StoopTroup]

Depending on how this little girl dealt with the horrible weekend of a grandparent dying, maybe it might be better to use a white lie instead. "It ran away"?

But that would mean that your daughter would have to be trusted to see the story through.

I understand that and if I had been the one to take care of him...I might do just that and then head to confession.

Absolutely no way you can teach your kids to lie.

It's truth that has always set me free against the odds so I probably would end up spilling the beans eventually if I did lie....lol.

Anyway...I had the Wife text her Mother about it last night so she didn't get the call in front of her daughter.

Hopefully everything will work out OK.

[StoopTroup]

spend $1.50 at the local pet store, find the closest match. Put it in the cage. If she says it looks different, tell her that it just didnt eat much because it missed her so much, so it lost some weight or something. Crisis solved.

If that's what her Mother and Father want to do...I'll do it and even pay for it.

I'm thinking that we will all just have a ceremony for the little guy...then go buy a new one and just deal with the fact that living things die sometimes.

It's sad...but it's true.

[soonerbrat]

how old is the little girl? and how long did she have the hamster? They only live a couple years

[kbsooner21]

All good things must come to an end lol

[StoopTroup]

how old is the little girl? and how long did she have the hamster? They only live a couple years

I think he was almost a year old and she is the same as my Daughter, 10.

It's really just bad timing as the little girl just lost Grandpa and Grandma might be right behind him and her Uncle is hanging on without any kidneys and not a candidate for a transplant. We just found out her sister has a thyroid condition that is hopefully treatable as well.

I guess I should ask for some prayers and good thoughts for these folks...they are going through quite a bit right now. Especially for the kids, Marrisa and Amber. Amber is the hamster's owner BTW.

[r5TPsooner]

I just called PETA. They should be knocking on your door any minute.

[StoopTroup]

I just called PETA. They should be knocking on your door any minute.

People Eating Tasty Animals?

That's just sick. :D

[r5TPsooner]

I dare you to come to the door dawning a hampster fur.

[StoopTroup]

There will be none of that.

I am moving him to the freezer.

[r5TPsooner]

There will be none of that.

I am moving him to the freezer.

mmmn appetizer before dinner. well played.:D

[C&CDean]

Just tell the girl that hamsters are rodents and rodents deserve to ****ing die.

[pergdaddy]

If PETA comes do the door, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU to throw the frozen hamster at them. And it would be legendary if you paperclipped a little red piece of felt with an "S" on it too.

Seriously though, cook him up. Let us know what hamster tastes like. If food prices keep going up, I might start an animal farm.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.............Slamming Barry OBama.

[StoopTroup]

Ok....

4 of you are gonna get a smokin' deal on a lucky Hamster foot.

I'll be posting something on it in the swap forum soon. ;)

[OKLA21FAN]

Ok....

4 of you are gonna get a smokin' deal on a lucky Hamster foot.

I'll be posting something on it in the swap forum soon. l)

just feed him to Mitch.....problem solved
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjAwMTU2MDIxOF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTAwNDQ3._V1._ CR101,0,398,398_SS100_.jpg

[12]

That's HAWT!

[Jimminy Crimson]

I'm sure your daughters Barbie would like a nice fur coat out of this ordeal...


Too soon? ;)

[soonerbrat]

I'm sure your daughters Barbie would like a nice fur coat out of this ordeal...


Too soon? ;)

MEAN!

[Turd_Ferguson]

When the parent's show up at the door, just say "Yeah, I killed the sonofab!tch!! What up"? Then, break down in a Run DMC stance.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Just tell the people your cat got hungryhttp://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/funny-pictures-cat-hamster-ball.jpg

[StoopTroup]

Update: Amber and Marrisa just lost their Uncle Mike.

He was a great guy. I'll miss him too.

Prayers for the Family.

ST

[Viking Kitten]

Edit: Never Mind... not a good place for this story anymore. I'll start a new thread.

[StoopTroup]

Update: The girls Mom called yesterday and they didn't get our text mesage.

They were all upbeat and ready to come get the Hamster. :(

The Wife broke the bad news.

The little girl is upset but her mom is handling it for now.

Herve was 2 years old and had lived a good life.

Guess it was just his time.

[JohnnyMack]

Herve? Like "de plane! de plane!"???

How did I miss that?

[colleyvillesooner]

or is it French like "hervay"

[StoopTroup]

I think it's more Spanish/german like Herr Vey.

[colleyvillesooner]

I think it's French. I used to work with a French guy, and that was his name. So...I'm thinking French. Like the mustard, only the country.

[StoopTroup]

So is "Herr Ghey" Texan French?

[JohnnyMack]

So could someone please fark a hamsters head onto Herve Villeches (sp?) body and push this thread into epic status please?

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/9329/hamster2ez1.jpg

[JohnnyMack]

Yer doin' it wrong.

[sooneron]

i got nuthin

http://img295.imageshack.us/img295/1233/tattoovx5.jpg

[BigRedJed]

Personally, from looking at the video, I think you just got tired of taking care of the poor thing and poisoned it.

[BigRedJed]

y8Kyi0WNg40

[StoopTroup]

Herve is gone.

Welcome "Flicka" to the SO! :D

7N_ryBI1Mq4

[StoopTroup]

Here's Flicka's new digs.

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c333/stooptroup/DSC02937.jpg

[Curly Bill]

Don't you know the economy's bad, and here you buying hampsters and deluxe hampster accomodations. :D

...or is this the other girl's hamspter?

I'm so lost...

[StoopTroup]

It's the little girl's hamster and that's Herve's old cage.

Flicka is the new Hamster.

BTW...Amber just told me "Herve" was almost 4 years old. :eek:

That's a very long time for a hamster.

[Curly Bill]

You should sue Herve's former owners since he died on your watch...you know for emotional trauma and stuff. ;)

[StoopTroup]

You should sue Herve's former owners since he died on your watch...you know for emotional trauma and stuff. ;)

Naw...they are way to nice to do that...

Amber is my Daughter's Best Friend.

I'm glad everything turned out OK and that all is right in the Hamster Universe now. :D

Hamster Dance anyone? :D

_1_kgNp9oQg

[Curly Bill]

Speaking of emotional trauma...I can't believe I actually clicked on that. :D

[StoopTroup]

:D

[sooneron]

THIS is the bestest!


aFbEBVuVHZc

[colleyvillesooner]

no way I'm clicking that with that preview picture.

[sooneron]

you'll thank me if you do...

[BigRedJed]

Not good.

[BigRedJed]

And yet... ...somehow awesome...

:confused:

[sooneron]

More than a year later, I still think it's hilarious. The shades are magical!!!

[JohnnyMack]

you'll think of me if you do...

Ya know Colley he's right. It does look eerily like him.

[Fraggle145]

I wish I woulda kept up with this thread from the beginning...

And hamster in a fanny pack. Teh Lose. :eek:

[sooneron]

Ya know Colley he's right. It does look eerily like him.

Want anything from DD while I'm out for lunch time?

[JohnnyMack]

I hate you.

[sooneron]

heh

[sooneron]

I hate you.

The only question is, which one??


http://img244.imageshack.us/my.php?image=picture1tk0.jpg

[StoopTroup]

Update.

I got this message from a guy on youtube about what the hamster was going through....


dude, im sorry but your hamster is dead. he probably suferd from a caltinjunt arest. a sever heart attak caused by cancer, a hemrage or a blood clot. the reaso n he wasn't closing his mouth is his brain was dead but his heart was just dying for oxygen to send through the blood and his brain is dead so he couldn't breath.


Since I later found out the little guy was over 3 years old...he's probably right.

Also...we asked Amber how the NEW Hamster was doing....

He's dead now too.

His funeral was held in our absense.

I feel good about trying to cheer her up with "Flicka"...just wish it would have stayed around at least a year or so.

Oh well.....life goes on and Amber is a Hamster Veteran....she loves them but realizes they can last a long time or not very long at all.

She's a very tough and smart little girl.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Maybe Amber's parents need to just give her a houseplant or something.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

A cactus.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Maybe a pet rock.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

I'm so sorry, Amber.

:kelvin:

[Rogue]

I just discovered this thread. As a service to others who might want to skip the first 6 pages I'll summarize and interpret:

Act I: "Is it or isn't it?"
1) You should read the first 6 pages. It's greatness.
2) A little girl's hamster is dying. Wait, no it's not. Yes, yes it is.
3) ST puts two videos of it's agony and suffering on youtube.
4) It was SUPPOSED to be covered by towel on the heating pad.
5) ST confessed (by video) to uncovering the poor thing.
6) Dean doesn't like rodents. Seems he's afeared of 'em.

Intermission.

Act II: "Are we STILL talking about the dead hamster?"

1) ST evades the PETA investigators for several days.
2) We all learn an important lesson by the failed text message.
Technology will let you down, folks.
3) A replacement hamster, that looks a little long in the tooth to begin with,
arrives in a little girls life.
4) To die less than a month later.
5) ST has now successfully re-traumatized the little girl.


Literary analysis, what to read for:

The "made for Teevee" version of the story can be summarized by watching only the video and pictures contained in the story. The real genius is in the dialogue though, so that's where we'll focus.

In this story we learn the hamster's name is Herve. What kind of kid names a hamster Herve? This is the principle conflict for the reader to explore. While the authors' intentions are never quite clear, we learn from 3 important events in the story. The obvious conclusion most scholars of the hamster thread reach is that the authors hate little girls.

1) Colleyville
I think it's French. I used to work with a French guy, and that was his name. So...I'm thinking French. Like the mustard, only the country.

2) BSG suggests the little girl should be gifted with a cactus. A cactus gift is widely believed to be some kind of curse in the setting of this story.

3) Sooneron, one of the original authors, is clearly insane. The other authors may not be aware of this. He posts an imageshack link full of popups, a disturbing video full of hamster voodoo, and generally acts crazily throughout the saga.

Reviews:

"One-star" - Anonymous
"An all time low" - Author
"A timeless SO classic" - n00b
"WTF??!!" - Times Thread Reviewer
"They've all gone insane over there." - Orange Power
"A must read" - Reinstated Lurker

[StoopTroup]

:D

El0b0-hoU1k&feature=haxa_popt00us04

[Crucifax Autumn]

This thread is pure genius....not sure why, but it has moved me! lol

[Collier11]

:D

El0b0-hoU1k&feature=haxa_popt00us04

Greatest post EVER!!!

I nominate this entire thread for epic HOF status!

[StoopTroup]

I left the Hamster Death videos up on Youtube since this thread was created.

Evidently I'm at "SICK ****" status for some people on the interwebs now.

People are amazing...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp6OU3gQc-E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9APJ4JibeQc&feature=related

[OKLA21FAN]

I left the Hamster Death videos up on Youtube since this thread was created.

Evidently I'm at "SICK ****" status for some people on the interwebs now.

People are amazing...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp6OU3gQc-E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9APJ4JibeQc&feature=related
you are going to hell now. :pop:

[delhalew]

This thread is greatness. I laughed, I cried, I questioned the future of humanity. Rogue's synopsis made me do all three at once.

Spek to all involved.

[btk108]

always wondered what those little brown "vegetable's" were in my fried rice. Now I know why the cook was smiling!

[OKC-SLC]

How did I miss this thread the first time around?

I laughed, for sure. But as much due to my concern for our universe as to the humor.

[TheUnnamedSooner]

I think ST has made some enemies on youtube.

[StoopTroup]

I think the one video has almost 10,000 hits....lol

[StoopTroup]

This is for you all...

Sincerely,

ST AKA HAMSTER KILLA

p3G5IXn0K7A

[StoopTroup]

3kMC10SgXKk

[Breadburner]

I hate it when they go right for the butt-hole.....

[BudSooner]

Ironic that this thread pops up, the kids guinea pig Jerry died this morning.

RIP little guy. :(