Gopher Whisperer

[Okla-homey]

I hired the Tulsa Gopher Whisperer to de-gopher my front lawn. The gopher is turning my front yard into swiss cheese and I'm tired of a new pile of dirt in the middle of my scorched grass every morning when I go get my paper. The Gopher Whisperer guarantees a gopher corpse or you don't pay (25.00).

I've tried the predator pee. All that does is run them into an area sans pee. I'll keep you posted.

And yes, I would shoot the little bastage if I could catch him with his head above ground (the gopher that is). He is a stealthy critter and thus only the Gopher Whisperer has a chance against him.

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?articleID=20080709_11_A2_hTrapp27493

[mdklatt]

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/3/6/4/1/15051463-15051466-large.jpg

[KC//CRIMSON]

the only thing that works is a gopher trap.

[BigRedJed]

YWIA.

http://www.bugspray.com/pictures/skus/151163.jpg

[BigRedJed]

Also, my dad used to do some damage with one of these:

http://bp1.blogger.com/_rZPj-gWcHXw/R1LsQxoqciI/AAAAAAAAALM/b-4E_qkTO9E/s320/DSC02696.JPG

[BigRedJed]

Hee was quite entertained by spending summer evenings in a lawn chair, drawing a bead on a gopher hole, and then BLAMMO!! Bye-bye, Mr. Gopher.

[12]

I've tried the predator pee. All that does is run them into an area sans pee. I'll keep you posted.

In other words, Homey has saved a bundle in water bills this month. :D

[Frozen Sooner]

Sir, if I kill all the gophers, they're going to lock me up and throw away the key.

[OUHOMER]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVzfEtQ6iT0&feature=related

[Mixer!]

http://www.carlspackler.com/archive/cs_058.jpg

[Czar Soonerov]

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8047/gopherdance2677751cy9.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[mdklatt]

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8047/gopherdance2677751cy9.gif (http://imageshack.us)

I'm all riiiiiiight
No-body worry 'bout me

[jigglymonkey]

OK, I've killed literally 90 someodd gophers in about two years. Go to Ace hardware and buy their little mechanical traps for about $6 each. Buy a small chain and some tent stakes. Dig out their hole and set one trap each way the tunnels run. Put a board or rock over the tunnel and make sure no light come through. Check it in about 2 days. If the trap is pushed back up, then try it again. This is the only thing that is guaranteed to work. Promise.

[swardboy]

Who knew a jiggly monkey would turn out to be a world-class gopher killer?

[jigglymonkey]

I got skilz

[StoopTroup]

Gophers kind of look like hamsters don't they?

[Howzit]

I've got an armadiller living under the deck in the back yard. So far all I've done is drink beer and cuss at him.

[Widescreen]

I've got an armadiller living under the deck in the back yard. So far all I've done is drink beer and cuss at him.

You should build a road through your back yard.

[Flagstaffsooner]

I've tried the predator pee.
Use olevet pee, that will drive off anything.

[BigRedJed]

Just don't use it near an open flame.

[Mixer!]

jaux = Dr. Phil? ;)

[Dr. Phil]

We teach people how to treat us.

[Partial Qualifier]

are gophers in your yard for the same reason as moles? I had moles real bad at one house. Tried everything -- drowning them out, tried a dozen different poisons -- nothing worked. They'd push the poison pellets up out of their holes as if to say "**** you. Try again."

They're after the grubs in your yard. What finally worked was grub killer. Two applications spread out over a year killed the grubs and the moles disappeared. It was amazingly easy. Dunno if gophers eat grubs ??

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Like someone said, open the run, sit downwind with your shotgun of choice, crack open a cold one, and wait. They're pretty good about not showing themselves, but if you catch 'em as they're pushing dirt, they're at the hole and will die a horrible death. I recommend .410 with #6.

Traps work well, chain and stake just like jigglymonkey said, but leave the hole open and wear a rubber glove. The gopher will respond to the light and go to cover the hole, just like he would were you waiting with a shotgun. They'll smell you on the trap, too, hence the rubber glove. Put it as far down the run as you can. Those cheapo metal traps with the two barbs work well.

You can try juicy fruit gum (they'll eat it and blow up), gas, chasers, other assorted fireworks, those retarded plastic flowers, alka seltzer, but nothing works better than a shotgun or a plain old trap for gophers. I don't know if the grub thing works like it does for moles, though. Killing the grubs works wonders for moles.

And whatever you do, DON'T use poison peanuts. Gopher eats the peanuts, gopher dies, dog smells the gopher, digs up the gopher, eats the gopher, then dies himself. So unless you want to poison your own or some neighbor's dog, do NOT use poison peanuts.

[BigRedJed]

Or, use poison peanuts in the front yard, the shotgun in the back. Put your dog in the house while you're out there with the shotgun. That way you have an afternoon of cheap entertainment, gophers are gone from both places, and your neighbor's dog will stop ****ting on your front lawn.

[Okla-homey]

The Gopher Whisperer just called. The gopher is mort.

Got him. He asked me if I wanted the corpse. I said no. Best $25.00 I ever spent. That is all.

[OU4LIFE]

too bad you have to kill the grubs to rid the moles, grubs are good for your yard.

[Howzit]

My armadiller is still kickin', but there is no doubt in his mind that he is one sorry-***, grub-eatin', son-of-a-armadillerbritches.

[Mixer!]

I'd sic my dog on him if I were you. :D

[OUHOMER]

UMm, I got both gopher and armadillo's...I am doing the Howzit thing. Standing on the porch and cussing them. Doesnt seem to be working, except for the drinking part.

[StoopTroup]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVzfEtQ6iT0&feature=related

Homer...that one is good...but this one shows the little guy struggle more. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6n5RJ0AwB4&feature=related

[BudSooner]

UMm, I got both gopher and armadillo's...I am doing the Howzit thing. Standing on the porch and cussing them. Doesnt seem to be working, except for the drinking part.

Actually, it sounds as if your missing one step.
Whilst standing on the porch drinking, proceed to **** on the little bastard...if you are inbibing OVJ...then he will begin to feel the heat and burning of the toxicity of the aforementioned OVJ eating away at his armor.

Job complete

98/70