U.T. will go 0-12 in 2008

[KingDavid]

Aug. 30 Sat. Florida Atlantic Austin, Texas
Did you know this game was presented by Wells Fargo? In any event, this is your Appalachian State, Texas . . . and you follow in the footsteps of the Wolverines, the latest giant offered up on the alter to the God's of DIV. II. Florida Atlantic prevails, 41-38.

Sept. 6 Sat. UTEP El Paso, Texas
This game also has a presenter... presented by AT&T, who reminds you that SBC is a thing of the past! Unfortunately, UTEP has a priceless (wink wink) gameplan and pulls off the upset, 21-20.

Sept. 20 Sat. Rice Austin, TX
Presented by... Alumni Band Day! No, wait, UnitedHealthcare. Rice pulls off the greatest game of their life (Constant reminders by the crew that Major Applewhite was once a coach at Rice, followed by constant reaction shots of him on the Texas sideline) and the game comes down to the last play, where Texas receives the kickoff, down by 4, as time expires. Due to an inexplicable lapse in concentration, Quan Cosby fields the kick just inside the 5 . . . and takes a knee. Rice 24, Texas 20. The Owls are hootin' all over Austin, all night long.

Oct. 4 Sat. Colorado Boulder, Colo.
No presenting sponsor leads to phail. Colorado 50, Texas 7

Oct. 11 Sat. Oklahoma Dallas, Texas
Boren swears a snow day if OU beats the spread, which by now, with a fully castrated 0-4 whorn team vs. an undefeated No. 1 ranked OU team is 60 points. Ouch! OU wins 67-12, making OU fans upset for losing vBets and vCash.

Oct. 18 Sat. Missouri Austin, Texas
Presented by H-E-B, it is Cowboys Weekend (whatever the hell that means), Football Parents' Weekend (get ready for extremely long pregame festivities that most Texas fans will not show up for anyways) and Texas Exes Distinguished Alumni Awards (I still think your alumni association name sucks). After all that information, you lose and Chase Daniels does the Soulja Boy on your whorn logo afterward. Roids will do that to you. It's a scientifically proven fact. Mizz 31, Texas 10.

Oct. 25 Sat. Oklahoma State Austin, Texas
Presented by Scott & White, it is Cheer Reunion day! Yay. A mysterious site entitled "firemackbrown.com" has reappeared from a three year absence. It receives record viewership after a 3-2 loss to the Pokes. Mack's game ball goes to the guy who sacked Zac Robinson in the endzone, causing the only points of the game.

Nov. 1 Sat. Texas Tech Lubbock, Texas
Are we feeling sad yet? Even the Holiday Bowl might not take you now. Leach forgets all formalities of not running up the score (like he's never done that before) and wins 77-0 to a half-empty stadium. Hey, that sand in the eyes hurts!

Nov. 8 Sat. Baylor Austin, Texas
Presented by Time Warner Cable (getting old), it is Veterans Recognition Day (God bless Texas! He sure isn't blessing the whorns), Longhorn Hall of Honor and Letterwinners Roundup day. However, fans will not come early, stay late, or even come and stay at all by now. Fears of another upset to Baylor that hasn't been seen in decades come to fruition as the nightmare deepens for the Burnt Orange. Baylor wins 14-13.

Nov. 15 Sat. Kansas Lawrence, Kan.
Having already eaten all footballs in the OU game, Mangino challenges them to a football game played with a basketball. Whorns, uber confident off the third win of the season last week, agrees. Unfortunately, Mangino has already arranged with Bill Self to have the basketball team sub for his holes from last season's Orange Bowl team. After several three point shots (Um, basketball dudes, those are called "field goals" in football), Texas wonders how soon until basketball season. Kansas 9, Texas 0.

Nov. 27 Thu. Texas A&M Austin, Texas
It's the State Farm Lone Star Showdown and, with the team having lost every possible scrap of morale after the recent loss to Kansas, 85% of the Texas squad goes AWOL on gameday. Unable to field more than 8 players, the Longhorns become the first team in NCAA history to forfeit a game by no-showing on its home field. Mike Sherman, having just secured his first major victory against a rival school, receives a seven year guaranteed contract extension from A&M's Board of Regents.

(Note: spek to Badger from providing 99% of this material.)

[badger]

Boren swears a snow day if OU beats the spread, which by now, with a 2-2 unranked whorn team vs. an undefeated No. 1 ranked OU team is 60 points.

YOU=phail @ editing ;)

Is there any possible way we can give them negative wins for their final tally? You know, instead of 0-12, like, -1-11? You lose so much that it's a negative win? Like that minus world in Super Mario Bros. Hmm...

Texas has decided to make its own path to nowhere instead of taking the obvious warp pipe. Now, they are going down the alternative route to negativity, where they are treading water forever until the clock runs out, accompanied by creepy repetitive background music. The cycle never ends, the game goes on to infinity it seems, with no possible way of winning, Texas trudges forward to nowhere, which is to say, they are going backwards to infinity.

And, the clock runs out and they lose... they lose in a negative sense, as there was no chance of winning. Thus, they actually negative win. Thus, Texas is now -1-11.
http://www.imageshare.web.id/images/o7ismvj5vah8abiqxw9k.png
Texas was so confused it wore red. The refs remind Texas that taking any coins is a violation of NCAA rules and will render offending player ineligible for the rest of the season. Also, as intriguing as that weed looks, it will mess your life up and block your path to negative success.

[soonermix]

e for effort

[stoopified]

If UT went 0-12(which I doubt)OUr win over them would mean nothing.It would be like beating Baylor or oSu.

[KingDavid]

YOU=phail @ editing ;)

Got me. I fixed it, though.

[Flagstaffsooner]

1-11 t boone state will choke in the 2nd half.

[KingDavid]

1-11 t boone state will choke in the 2nd half.

true. lol.

[Tailgate]

Thanks for thinking about us.

We will be just fine, ty :)

[Phantasm]

seeing the future!

[goingoneight]

Oct. 25 Sat. Oklahoma State Austin, Texas
Presented by Scott & White, it is Cheer Reunion day! Yay. A mysterious site entitled "firemackbrown.com" has reappeared from a three year absence. It receives record viewership after a 3-2 loss to the Pokes. Mack's game ball goes to the guy who sacked Zac Robinson in the endzone, causing the only points of the game.


Perhaps you didn't see this game. The 0-fer Texass Schlongwhorns got a visit from the .500 "team on the rise" Okie State Cowboys. One random aggy-type of statistic is repeated over and over again all night long as T Boone continues to stuff wads of cash into the color commentator's pocket to do so. For argument's sake, we'll call it... "only 45 points and thirteen minutes shy of an undefeated run so far."

The opening kickoff, Colt's first pass, Zac's first drive, Hunter's first run all result in Cowboy touchdowns. Getting close to the half, riding a 28-0 lead, aggy gets the ball with 2:02 left on the clock, Zac Robinson throws a 55-yard Hail Mary to Brandon Pettigrew for a TD. Colt McCoy, knowing he'll get the ball back first, tries one himself and gets picked off for another Cowboy TD. It is now 41-0, because Mike Gundy felt the unexplained need to go for two.

Colt McCoy manages a field goal on the opening drive of the second half. OSU manages a touchdown. The score is now 48-3. Colty manages another FG... big whoop, right? Gundy gets all excited and calls for some backyard, grade school Boise State **** on 1st and 10... only to see his top receiver do his Brent Parker immitation. The biggest whorn on D scoops it up and runs over 90 yards for a whorn TD... 48-13, aggy. A frustrated Zac Robinson proceeds to throw a pick-6 himself and Ryan Bailey makes it 48-20.

Now it's just not possible for OSU to surrender a 28-point lead in one quarter, so Gundy elects to just run the clock down on every possession and let his defense win the game. Three-and-out, whorn TD... Three-and-out, whorn TD... Three-and-out, whorn TD.

Now a score of 48-41, there is exactly six seconds left in the game, when OSU manages to return a kickoff down to the Texass five-yard line. Gundy calls for a QB keeper, which Zac fumbles on the two, and Deion Beasley returns 98 yards for another whorn TD. The Texass placeholder fumbles the snap and picks it up for an easy 2-point conversion with time expired.

Texas proceeds to win the rest of their games.

[OUmillenium]

nice

[utex74]

Aug. 30 Sat. Florida Atlantic Austin, Texas
Did you know this game was presented by Wells Fargo? In any event, this is your Appalachian State, Texas . . . and you follow in the footsteps of the Wolverines, the latest giant offered up on the alter to the God's of DIV. II. Florida Atlantic prevails, 41-38.

Sept. 6 Sat. UTEP El Paso, Texas
This game also has a presenter... presented by AT&T, who reminds you that SBC is a thing of the past! Unfortunately, UTEP has a priceless (wink wink) gameplan and pulls off the upset, 21-20.

Sept. 20 Sat. Rice Austin, TX
Presented by... Alumni Band Day! No, wait, UnitedHealthcare. Rice pulls off the greatest game of their life (Constant reminders by the crew that Major Applewhite was once a coach at Rice, followed by constant reaction shots of him on the Texas sideline) and the game comes down to the last play, where Texas receives the kickoff, down by 4, as time expires. Due to an inexplicable lapse in concentration, Quan Cosby fields the kick just inside the 5 . . . and takes a knee. Rice 24, Texas 20. The Owls are hootin' all over Austin, all night long.

Oct. 4 Sat. Colorado Boulder, Colo.
No presenting sponsor leads to phail. Colorado 50, Texas 7

Oct. 11 Sat. Oklahoma Dallas, Texas
Boren swears a snow day if OU beats the spread, which by now, with a fully castrated 0-4 whorn team vs. an undefeated No. 1 ranked OU team is 60 points. Ouch! OU wins 67-12, making OU fans upset for losing vBets and vCash.

Oct. 18 Sat. Missouri Austin, Texas
Presented by H-E-B, it is Cowboys Weekend (whatever the hell that means), Football Parents' Weekend (get ready for extremely long pregame festivities that most Texas fans will not show up for anyways) and Texas Exes Distinguished Alumni Awards (I still think your alumni association name sucks). After all that information, you lose and Chase Daniels does the Soulja Boy on your whorn logo afterward. Roids will do that to you. It's a scientifically proven fact. Mizz 31, Texas 10.

Oct. 25 Sat. Oklahoma State Austin, Texas
Presented by Scott & White, it is Cheer Reunion day! Yay. A mysterious site entitled "firemackbrown.com" has reappeared from a three year absence. It receives record viewership after a 3-2 loss to the Pokes. Mack's game ball goes to the guy who sacked Zac Robinson in the endzone, causing the only points of the game.

Nov. 1 Sat. Texas Tech Lubbock, Texas
Are we feeling sad yet? Even the Holiday Bowl might not take you now. Leach forgets all formalities of not running up the score (like he's never done that before) and wins 77-0 to a half-empty stadium. Hey, that sand in the eyes hurts!

Nov. 8 Sat. Baylor Austin, Texas
Presented by Time Warner Cable (getting old), it is Veterans Recognition Day (God bless Texas! He sure isn't blessing the whorns), Longhorn Hall of Honor and Letterwinners Roundup day. However, fans will not come early, stay late, or even come and stay at all by now. Fears of another upset to Baylor that hasn't been seen in decades come to fruition as the nightmare deepens for the Burnt Orange. Baylor wins 14-13.

Nov. 15 Sat. Kansas Lawrence, Kan.
Having already eaten all footballs in the OU game, Mangino challenges them to a football game played with a basketball. Whorns, uber confident off the third win of the season last week, agrees. Unfortunately, Mangino has already arranged with Bill Self to have the basketball team sub for his holes from last season's Orange Bowl team. After several three point shots (Um, basketball dudes, those are called "field goals" in football), Texas wonders how soon until basketball season. Kansas 9, Texas 0.

Nov. 27 Thu. Texas A&M Austin, Texas
It's the State Farm Lone Star Showdown and, with the team having lost every possible scrap of morale after the recent loss to Kansas, 85% of the Texas squad goes AWOL on gameday. Unable to field more than 8 players, the Longhorns become the first team in NCAA history to forfeit a game by no-showing on its home field. Mike Sherman, having just secured his first major victory against a rival school, receives a seven year guaranteed contract extension from A&M's Board of Regents.

(Note: spek to Badger from providing 99% of this material.)



You left out the Pigs. You guys have the edge this year, for sure. We'll see how it plays out.

[fossil]

:P You drink too much. As much as I'd be thrilled to see U.T. bite the dust that bad, it ain't gonna happen. Too many good players.....but not enough to beat the Sooners. I hope the boys in crimson and cream kick a mudhole in their arse this year again.

[badger]

You left out the Pigs. You guys have the edge this year, for sure. We'll see how it plays out.

He left out the Pigs because I left out the Pigs. Whoopsie! Or should I say: "Ooooooooo.... PIG WHOOPSIE!" times three.

Ugh, I should Neg spek myself for saying that lameness :mad:

[OK2LA]

Might have been more amusing if Lid hadn't posted his Sooner schedule predictions.

Your sauce is weak.

[badger]

Might have been more amusing if Lid hadn't posted his Sooner schedule predictions.

Your sauce is weak.

Yes, OK2LA, it's called a copycat thread. You must never camp out in the South Oval :D

Actually, it's a copycat thread of a copycat thread. So there you have it - two wrongs actually DO make a right!

Oh, and Texas is definitely going 0-12 this year. No doubt in the badger mind. Then again, NP and I just adopted puppy brothers that caused us to get little sleep last night :D

... don't even ask about our LOL cat. Our cat is definitely not LOL-ing at sharing its house with two doggies.

[OK2LA]

Yes, OK2LA, it's called a copycat thread. You must never camp out in the South Oval :D

Actually, it's a copycat thread of a copycat thread. So there you have it - two wrongs actually DO make a right!

Oh, and Texas is definitely going 0-12 this year. No doubt in the badger mind. Then again, NP and I just adopted puppy brothers that caused us to get little sleep last night :D

... don't even ask about our LOL cat. Our cat is definitely not LOL-ing at sharing its house with two doggies.

I saw that you were 99% responsible for this - your sauce is weak too.

[StoopTroup]

I took this pic while eating at an Austin Restaurant.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i286/intag1io/ws.jpg