My Day in Women's Prison

[Viking Kitten]

Awesome thing #1: The pat down.

VK: No, lady prison guard, those aren't guns you're groping.

VK: Wait, you're confiscating my phone? MY PHONE??? Are you sure you need to... But, but... I love that phone.:(

Awesome thing #2: The ladies.

Inmate: Sure! you can film the inside of my cell.

VK: Thank you! Are you participating in the inmate educational opportunities?

Inmate: No ma'am. I already have a bachelor's degree.

VK: Really? Where from?

Inmate: OU.

VK: Me too! Well, uh...Boomer Sooner! And your degree was...?

Inmate: Poli-Sci. Class of '92.

VK: Wow. How'd you end up here?

Inmate: First Degree Murder!

VK: Oh.

Awesome thing #3: The guards.

Guard: Oh, I'd say about 98 percent of these women are in relationships with each other. That's what makes this so hard. All the jealousy and crazy hormones and what have you.

VK: Oh.

[SoonerInKCMO]

Those Poli Sci majors are hard core. Right, SicEm?

[LilSooner]

You damn right we are. :)

Poli Sci '03 what! what!!

[BigRedJed]

I'll bet the pat-down wasn't as awesome as the one I got the other night at the B-52s/Cyndi Lauper/Joan Jett/Andy Bell gayfest. Dude, seriously? You think people are going to smuggle weapons into THIS SHOW??!?

And no, it wasn't some random dude standing by the gate pretending to be a security guard in an effort to pat down as many dudes as possible. I will say, however, that most of the guys who were attending the show found the pat-down far less objectionable than I did.

[BigRedJed]

See how fast I can make a thread be about me?

[Viking Kitten]

Seventeen minutes. You're slacking.

[BigRedJed]

Cut me some slack. It's my busy time of year.

[shaun4411]

i got a pretty nice little patdown at oklahoma state prison in mcalaster. unfortunately it wasnt by a guard.

[BigRedJed]

I have to admit, though. The thread was better before I posted in it.

Carry on.

[BigRedJed]

Oops. It just got worse again.

[Viking Kitten]

Awesome thing #4: Some of the ladies in the prison laundry were checking me out.

[bri]

Wanted to wash your dirty pillows, did they?

SEXXY WORK RELEASE, FTW!

[KC//CRIMSON]

Did you learn how to make a shiv? It's a good skill to have in the joint.

[Sooner_Havok]

You know, in prison you can make Sangría in the toilet

[BigRedJed]

Aw, man! Not my prison shank!

[BigRedJed]

I seriously mis-spelled "prison."

FAIL!

[Curly Bill]

Were any of the lady inmates hawt?

[Sooner_Havok]

Were any of the lady inmates hawt?

Thinking of making a few conjugal visits?

[Curly Bill]

Thinking of making a few conjugal visits?

If they're hawt, and I could do something to improve prisoner morale. Course I might just make things worse. :P

[SicEmBaylor]

Those Poli Sci majors are hard core. Right, SicEm?

I's gonna get all up in yo grill before I pop a cap in yo punk ***.

Word up dawg. Word.

[Sooner_Havok]

I's gonna get all up in yo grill before I pop a cap in yo punk ***.

Word up dawg. Word.

heh

[dolemitesooner]

this thread makes me undualte

[bri]

Dude, days that end in "-y" make you undulate. :D

[Norman Sooner]

I run a juvenile girls group home for ajudicated girls...The thing they said about most of them bein in relationships is the hardest thing to deal with...Its the truth..

[OUDoc]

Tell me about your pat-down again, VK.
But slower this time.

[Blue]

That's Hawt.

[OKC-SLC]

I'll bet the pat-down wasn't as awesome as the one I got the other night at the B-52s/Cyndi Lauper/Joan Jett/Andy Bell gayfest. Dude, seriously? You think people are going to smuggle weapons into THIS SHOW??!?
Actually, I'd argue that this is the ideal concert into which to smuggle weapons.

[bri]

Why is that, pray tell?

[Viking Kitten]

You know, I would have loved to have gone to that concert Monday. Darn kids and their summer baseball/tee ball games.:D I've seen Joan Jett within the last couple years and that old lady puts on one heck of a good show. Plus I loves teh gays and their music.

[frankensooner]

I would have liked to have seen that show as well.

Does Joan still have the shaved head look?

When can we see your report on "Chained Heat"?

[SoonerInKCMO]

I's gonna get all up in yo grill before I pop a cap in yo punk ***.

Word up dawg. Word.

Up in my grill? Make sure you bring a step-ladder, tiny. ;)

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Ah the women's prison. It is quite the experience. I did two years at Mabel Bassett while I was in college.

Did you meet Verna Stafford?

[frankensooner]

Holley did time? ;)

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Highlight of my time at MB: Being the only one in my office the day the OJ verdict was read. The whole place erupted in cheers. I think they would have rioted had he been found guilty. That was a scary day for me.

[BigRedJed]

Joan Jett does NOT have the shaved head look. She has the too-much-cosmetic-surgery look.

And, while the B-52s were great fun live (as always), their set was too short. I didn't stay for all of Cyndi Lauper (meh), and came in late on JJ (saw her about 20 years ago at the LNC, supposedly opening for Robert Plant, before he cancelled at intermission). Missed Andy Bell entirely (unfortunately, 'cause I loved Erasure -- although he got some bad reviews for the other night).

Gotta say, there were a number of bands I would have rather seen on a gayfest tour than the ones presented. Except the B-52s. Loves me some B-52s.

[SicEmBaylor]

Joan Jett does NOT have the shaved head look. She has the too-much-cosmetic-surgery look.

And, while the B-52s were great fun live (as always), their set was too short. I didn't stay for all of Cyndi Lauper (meh), and came in late on JJ (saw her about 20 years ago at the LNC, supposedly opening for Robert Plant, before he cancelled at intermission). Missed Andy Bell entirely (unfortunately, 'cause I loved Erasure -- although he got some bad reviews for the other night).

Gotta say, there were a number of bands I would have rather seen on a gayfest tour than the ones presented. Except the B-52s. Loves me some B-52s.

Wait, did you go to this thing by choice or were you forced to do so because of your job, a family member perhaps, or anything else?

If you went there by choice then let me take this as my first opportunity to :snicker:

[BigRedJed]

http://www.thecoverzone.com/Jett/Graphics/JoanJett1ooo.jpg

[KC//CRIMSON]

Joan Jett does NOT have the shaved head look. She has the too-much-cosmetic-surgery look.

And, while the B-52s were great fun live (as always), their set was too short. I didn't stay for all of Cyndi Lauper (meh), and came in late on JJ (saw her about 20 years ago at the LNC, supposedly opening for Robert Plant, before he cancelled at intermission). Missed Andy Bell entirely (unfortunately, 'cause I loved Erasure -- although he got some bad reviews for the other night).

Gotta say, there were a number of bands I would have rather seen on a gayfest tour than the ones presented. Except the B-52s. Loves me some B-52s.

I'll see your B-52's, Cyndi Lauper, and Joan Jett and raise you The English Beat, The Fixx, and The Alarm. - http://www.crossroadskc.com/

or I'll raise you a Gnarls Barkley, The Black Keys, and The Ting Tings.:cool:

[BigRedJed]

Wait, did you go to this thing by choice or were you forced to do so because of your job, a family member perhaps, or anything else?

If you went there by choice then let me take this as my first opportunity to :snicker:
Dude, I have been on record on this site for years as loving teh gay music. If you got out of Abe Lincoln/states rights threads long enough to look around the site, you'd know this. Snicker all you want.

I also ride a Vespa. And have lots of shoes. Just so you'll know.

[SicEmBaylor]

Dude, I have been on record on this site for years as loving teh gay music. If you got out of Abe Lincoln/states rights threads long enough to look around the site, you'd know this. Snicker all you want.

I also ride a Vespa. And have lots of shoes. Just so you'll know.

:snicker: ;)

[BigRedJed]

I'll see your B-52's, Cyndi Lauper, and Joan Jett and raise you a The English Beat, The Fixx, and The Alarm. - http://www.crossroadskc.com/

or I'll raise you a Gnarls Barkley, The Black Keys, and The Ting Tings.:cool:
Meh. Seen all of 'em except the Ting Tings. The Fixx a couple of times, even chatted with Cy after the show a couple of years ago. Oh, and on the Black Keys show, I'll raise you My Morning Jacket and Red Rocks (http://www.redrocksonline.com/pages/concerts/detail.asp?id=3864).

[KC//CRIMSON]

Meh. Seen all of 'em except the Ting Tings. The Fixx a couple of times, even chatted with Cy after the show a couple of years ago. Oh, and on the Black Keys show, I'll raise you My Morning Jacket and Red Rocks (http://www.redrocksonline.com/pages/concerts/detail.asp?id=3864).

Meh, I've already got My Morning Jacket. How about Bob Dylan?

[soonerboomer93]

Wait, did you go to this thing by choice or were you forced to do so because of your job, a family member perhaps, or anything else?

If you went there by choice then let me take this as my first opportunity to :snicker:

let me be the first to state the obvious

the male made of honor has no right to snicker at any male on this board

when you earn that right, we'll let you know

kplzthx

[olevetonahill]

let me be the first to state the obvious

the male made of honor has no right to snicker at any male on this board

when you earn that right, we'll let you know

kplzthx

Ding Ding Ding . We have the Winnah !

[BigRedJed]

:snicker: ;)
And yet somehow, I manage to do well enough with the ladies to not feel compelled to post a thread every few days about my pathetic failures with them.

[SicEmBaylor]

And yet somehow, I manage to do well enough with the ladies to not feel compelled to post a thread every few days about my pathetic failures with them.

I haven't posted one this year let alone every few days.

[BigRedJed]

I'm sure that's some small relief to everyone who posts here.

[BigRedJed]

Well, probably not everyone. Some are curiously entertained by them.

[Viking Kitten]

In the Schadenfreud-y way that everyone is entertained on some level by seeing somebody get kicked in the balls.

[colleyvillesooner]

yes

[StoopTroup]

BRJ...

A vespa?

I understand the shoes thing....

A Vespa? :D ;)

[olevetonahill]

BRJ...

A vespa?

I understand the shoes thing....

A Vespa? :D ;)

He prefers the term Moped.;)

[Viking Kitten]

See? Nearly two whole days for the thread to become fully about BRJ. He's definitely slacking.

[bri]

Well, we had to have the obligatory detour where someone else tried to make it about them. But as usual, no one cared and the thread churned along dutifuly. :D

[StoopTroup]

He prefers the term Moped.;)

Moped does seem less ghey...

But I don't think he cares....

I think he's clearly stated that he's a NTTAWWT kinda guy. :D

[bri]

Hey, as long as we're acting like 13 year olds, I wore a pink polo yesterday. Tee hee! Snicker!

[proud gonzo]

Ok, SicEm snickering at anyone makes me laugh my *** off.

[frankensooner]

I don't have to worry about sicem snickering at me, he has no idea who I am! ;)