Bush Resume

[SoonerKnight]

Disclaimer: I thought this was funny if you still like Bush don't read it will offend you! :D

I will be available in January 2009, am willing to relocate.


RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington , DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a &nbs p;fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO &nb sp;Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in Supreme Court U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts..

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election)

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

[SoonerKnight]

continued.............


I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years

[def_lazer_fc]

you forgot to mention his natural talent of dance. look at those jazz hands

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e376/def_lazer_fc/bushx-large.jpg

[Sooner98]

I'm guessing this was an email forward.

[r5TPsooner]

What's really sad is the fact that most of that stuff is true.

My family and I are better off since he took the White House but a large majority of the country is not. ...and that's what bugs me about him the most.

[Frozen Sooner]

I'm guessing this was an email forward.

I'm guessing you're right.

[Collier11]

an email forward with no fact checking

[47straight]

So, should I believe this forward, or the one about guys hiding under my car at the fuel pumps, or about how I'm gonna get 10 bucks from Bill Gates?

[SoonerKnight]

I don't know this one is pretty accurate! :D

[SoonerKnight]

http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=8002

[SicEmBaylor]

I'm not defending Bush by any means since he isn't a conservative, but I chuckle every time I hear a liberal complain about Bush's budget deficits.

Liberals don't hate over-spending or budget deficits; they hate what the money is spent on and could really care less that the government is spending more than it should.

[SoonerKnight]

Really.....Bush had 6 years with a Republican Congress......hmmmm....I'd likr to see some evidence that a "liberal" said we should spend the money somewhere else not cut back please show me this enlightening evidence Sic'em. :rolleyes:

[Jerk]

I don't know this one is pretty accurate! :D

Of course they are, especially when looking at each "fact" with no context. But I will grant you that Bush has been a huge disappointment. This doesn't mean I should have voted for Kerry:D

[Okla-homey]

I great deal of the above is either exaggerated, only partially true or outright false.

here's an example:


I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

Flat wrong. Note the use of the word "Ministry" vice the proper term "Department." I suspect this whole screed was written by a Euro.

one more:


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record

huh?

[Scott D]

I'd say that'd be a reference to his DUI, Homey.

[sooneron]

Some of the stuff in there is true and Bush is the one to blame, but some of it would happen no matter who the president is.

Were the majority of 'Mericans against going into Iraq? I thought Powell's argument sealed the deal for the US electorate back in 03. It wasn't overwhelming, but it was more "for" than against.

[AggieTool]

I'm sure you could dig enough Snopes fodder to write a similar resume on ANY U.S. president.

Remember that little thing going around a few years back on Clinton acquaintances ending up dead or in jail?

Having said that, GW's big downfall was not listening to folks like Powell.

Obama yo mama '08!:D

[Collier11]

I'm sure you could dig enough Snopes fodder to write a similar resume on ANY U.S. president.

Remember that little thing going around a few years back on Clinton acquaintances ending up dead or in jail?

Having said that, GW's big downfall was not listening to folks like Powell.

Obama yo mama '08!:D

yea and it was over 50 if I recall correclty, so do I call Billary a couple of murderers? As someone said, GW made a ton of mistakes but everyone was for that war except the French, alot of those things were not his fault, and I still feel safer with GW than kerry

[SoonerInKCMO]

Liberals don't hate over-spending or budget deficits; they hate what the money is spent on and could really care less that the government is spending more than it should.

So you're saying that I'm not a liberal? :confused:

[AggieTool]

yea and it was over 50 if I recall correclty, so do I call Billary a couple of murderers? As someone said, GW made a ton of mistakes but everyone was for that war except the French, alot of those things were not his fault, and I still feel safer with GW than kerry

Turns out the French were right.;)

[Collier11]

Turns out the French were right.;)

so that poses the question, would you rather risk being wrong and be without the French or possibly right with the French? Thats pretty tough! ;)

[Okla-homey]

I'd say that'd be a reference to his DUI, Homey.


The point is, I imagine several POTUS's have had misdemeanors prior to taking office, although I'm not going to do the research to prove my point. Heck, Andy Jackson had killed a couple guys in duels.

[Collier11]

we could go all the way back to George Washington who committed adultery, GW was hardly the 1st or last president to be arrested or commit a crime. Some of you Bush Haters are rediculous with your bias, check your facts before you cast stones

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Heck, Andy Jackson had killed a couple guys in duels.

Heck, you think THAT'S bad, his brother Samuel L. was a contract hitman, and once got his *** kicked by Eddie Murphy and (of all people) Arsenio Hall when he tried to knock off a local fast food chain called McDowell's.

http://www.piercefarmwatch.org/images/blog/the_more_you_know.jpg

[badger]

George W. Bush:

- Yale and Harvard educated!
- Texas Air National Guard veteran!
- Former oil and baseball team owner!
- Former Texas governor!
- Former U.S. two-term president!
- Father to twins, husband to hot ex-librarian, son of America's grandmother and another former U.S. president.

Doesn't sound too bad when you shorten it and leave out all important details :D

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Not to mention, the ability to tell everyone you like Bush AND Dick!

[NYC Poke]

Disclaimer: I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

As a former in-house attorney for one of these companies, I can assure you that this is not the case.

[JohnnyMack]

Heck, you think THAT'S bad, his brother Samuel L. was a contract hitman, and once got his *** kicked by Eddie Murphy and (of all people) Arsenio Hall when he tried to knock off a local fast food chain called McDowell's.

http://www.piercefarmwatch.org/images/blog/the_more_you_know.jpg

Mmmm....this IS a tasty burger! Jules, you ever have a Big Kahuna burger?

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Mothereffing!

[Collier11]

George W. Bush:

- Yale and Harvard educated!
- Texas Air National Guard veteran!
- Former oil and baseball team owner!
- Former Texas governor!
- Former U.S. two-term president!
- Father to twins, husband to hot ex-librarian, son of America's grandmother and another former U.S. president.



All of this and people refer to him as stupid...as a president you are only as smart as your closest advisors and probably his biggest fault was trusting idiots more than being an idiot himself.

Take most presidents pre-internet and put them in this era and they would find their approval rating much lower

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Ten bucks on Bush in the 4th.

[mdklatt]

son of...another former U.S. president.


I like that should disqualify you from now on. No more sons, daughters, wives, husbands, aunts, uncles, etc. You'd think the Founding Fathers, with all their paranoia about a monarchy, would have explicitly forbade that.

[sooner_born_1960]

Oddly enough, he could probably beat the current crop of candidates.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

I like that should disqualify you from now on. No more sons, daughters, wives, husbands, aunts, uncles, etc. You'd think the Founding Fathers, with all their paranoia about a monarchy, would have explicitly forbade that.

Yeah, you'd think. What with JOHN ADAMS DOING IT OMG FOUNDING FATHER LOL.

[Sooner_Havok]

Oddly enough, he could probably beat the current crop of candidates.

Nah. I voted for the devil I knew in 04. This time, I will vote for the devil I don't. At least when you vote for the new guy you can always say "I didn't think he would be this bad." instead of "I knew this would happen."

[Boffingham]

...but i'm still a badass and nobody will ever **** with me

[mdklatt]

All of this and people refer to him as stupid

Since the Ive League invented the "gentlemen's C", I don't think the Harvard/Yale thing is all it's cracked up to be. Getting admitted to those schools in the first place is a big accomplishment (unless you're--ahem--a scion of the plutocracy), but once you're in I don't think it's that big of a deal to graduate. I will allow that the Ivy League law and medical schools are a big deal because of their highly competitive nature.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

I went to Harvard AND Yale.

[mdklatt]

Oddly enough, he could probably beat the current crop of candidates.

Running as a new guy or as a third-termer? New guy, maybe. Third-termer, no way in hell.

[mdklatt]

I went to Harvard AND Yale.

Thanks for proving my point. :D

[NYC Poke]

I went to Harvard AND Yale.

Then Sheridan?

[Tulsa_Fireman]

And ended up just off of Memorial at that fire station behind the old Wal-Mart.

[mdklatt]

What pretentious *********gery it is to name your streets after Ivy League schools.

OKC > Tulsa

:pop:

[Tulsa_Fireman]

HELLO!?

Quit queering up my thread with all this talk of our stepchildren down the road.

[badger]

I went to Harvard AND Yale.

Oh yes, there is both Harvard and Yale avenues in Tulsa :rolleyes:

[Sooner98]

:les: STOP THE SMEAR!!!!11!1

[StoopTroup]

As someone said, GW made a ton of mistakes but everyone was for that war except the French, alot of those things were not his fault, and I still feel safer with GW than kerry

Everybody who thought that the UN Inspectors had been given the run around by Saddam while trying to uncover the weapons of mass destruction did think we should go to War.

Thing is...all GW had to do was prove that they botched the inspections and everything would have been fine.

He didn't and everything is not fine now.

Saying you feel safer with GW in the Whitehouse than Kerry is just a statement about your own insecurities IMO...

[Collier11]

Saying you feel safer with GW in the Whitehouse than Kerry is just a statement about your own insecurities IMO...

have your opinion but have we been touched since 9/11? There have been LEGITIMATE threats daily, weekly, monthly since that day and nothing has happened. I heard one high ranking official state that if the American public knew how many legitimate threats we face each day without being assaulted they would be amazed. So yes, I feel much safer with GW as president hands down. You can say what you will about his policy, about the war, but he has protected this country...you may say that 9/11 happened under his watch but there was so much rediculous infighting between the FBI and CIA, not to mention that the guy who masterminded it had been let off the hook more than once by good ol' Mr. Clinton. He was put in a very tough place even if we had known about the attacks

[mdklatt]

have your opinion but have we been touched since 9/11? There have been LEGITIMATE threats daily, weekly, monthly since that day and nothing has happened. I heard one high ranking official state that if the American public knew how many legitimate threats we face each day without being assaulted they would be amazed. So yes, I feel much safer with GW as president hands down.

How do you know his policies had anything to do with it? We went just as long under Clinton without further attacks. Worldwide terrorist attacks have gone up since GW was around. Isn't that just as significant as no attacks here if we're supposed to be fighting a global war on terror? The government's own assessment of the Iraq war said that we are less safe because of it. Our military is currently in no shape to defend us from anybody but Canada while we're stretched so thin in Iraq, and it's going to take a long time to recover. Do we have a credible threat against Iran? Stop! Or I'll say 'stop' again! Does that make you feel more safe?

[Collier11]

America hasnt been touched, thats all I care about, policy be damned!

[badger]

Kerry did absolutely everything wrong in his campaign. There was absolutely no way possible for him to alienate Democrats who grew tired of the Iraq war... but he did. There was no way possible for him to be seen as less of a military-minded person than a National Guard AWOL'er... but he was. There was no way possible for him to be seen as more dishonest and deceptive than a president who had yet to find weapons of mass destruction... but Kerry was all of the above.

Oh, and his unappealing wife Teresa Heinz Ketchup "Shove It!" Kerry also helped in her husband's downfall, much like Bill Clinton helped his wife go from front runner to unelectable.

John Kerry, you suck. Never come back.

[Scott D]

Hillary's ego made her go from front-runner to unelectable all without William's help.

[SoonerKnight]

And some believe that George is a great president just because he is a republican! Just like Hoover who wanted to give tax cuts to corporations because that would find it's way to the American people! I wonder where I heard that before. The republican party is dying and the Democrat party will slowly die along with them we need someone in office that really cares about solving our issues not the corporate agenda! Bush by far has sucked as president!

[Collier11]

And some believe that George is a great president just because he is a republican! Just like Hoover who wanted to give tax cuts to corporations because that would find it's way to the American people! I wonder where I heard that before. The republican party is dying and the Democrat party will slowly die along with them we need someone in office that really cares about solving our issues not the corporate agenda! Bush by far has sucked as president!

You bring up a good point actually, why the hell dont we get rid of Republican and Democartic parties and nominees. That way these pushovers will stop voting their party and start voting their conscience. That way politicians will stop running on party line ideas and start running on ideas that they believe in. It really makes no sense the way American Politics have become because it literally has nothing to do with the good of the country.