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View Full Version : We Need a HUMOR in uniform Thread



olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 01:52 AM
Ill Start with a storey
Out on Patrol, took a break My Friend Sarge was breaking down His weapon, cleaning that Bitch. Outa the bush comes a VC , AK in his Hands. walks right up to Him
Hes speachless tryin to get enough air to Yell for someone to Shoot this bastard . The Gook was Yelling Chu Hoi , Chu Hoi .
I think he was the Only VC prisoner of War captured with a Broken down Weapon .:D
Next ?

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 01:54 AM
It dont Have to Be a War storey Just Humor
we all had some Great times
lets share em
From Basic to Going Home

SicEmBaylor
5/26/2008, 02:00 AM
My grandfather didn't talk much about the war until he was toward the end of his life, but he started opening up to me a bit as his only grandson. He was the most gentle wonderful man that I've ever known and never said a bad word about anyone, but the first thing he told me about the war in detail was this.

He was an old-army cavalry sergeant before the war with the 1st Cav. Division. Anyway, he was put into a recon platoon and fought in every engagement from New Guinea to the end of the war. Anyway, he told me that one night in the Philippines these locals had told him that there were a bunch of Japs hiding under the floorboards of this Catholic church waiting for nightfall so they could sneak out. He tells me they waited all night by his scout car (I think it was an m8, m20, or something like that..had a little 20mm turret) for these Japs to come out of the church. As soon as they come out he said they opened fire on them and he managed a direct hit on one with the turret of this scout car. Now, I'd never ever heard him say a curse word his entire life but he told me. "Son, I blew that Jap sonofabitch right to hell!"

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:05 AM
Great on your Pops Sicem
I salute Him

SicEmBaylor
5/26/2008, 02:12 AM
He was a good man, and I miss him a great deal.

I miss our old family Memorial day gatherings where stories of our family's military history would be retold over and over again. We haven't had a get-together in years but growing up I loved listening to the stories about my 4th Great-Grandfather being awarded land in Georgia for his service in the Revolution or how my 2nd Great-Grandfather had to walk home to Alabama from Appomattox Courthouse barefoot.

I really wish though that my grandfather hadn't waited so long to open up, but I understand his reasoning. He left me his medals, his old cavalry spurs, and even the journal that has a bullet hole in it (no joke). I try to remember as many of these stories as possible to pass on to my kids (if I ever have any) since I won't have any of my own to tell them.

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:17 AM
He was a good man, and I miss him a great deal.

I miss our old family Memorial day gatherings where stories of our family's military history would be retold over and over again. We haven't had a get-together in years but growing up I loved listening to the stories about my 4th Great-Grandfather being awarded land in Georgia for his service in the Revolution or how my 2nd Great-Grandfather had to walk home to Alabama from Appomattox Courthouse barefoot.

I really wish though that my grandfather hadn't waited so long to open up, but I understand his reasoning. He left me his medals, his old cavalry spurs, and even the journal that has a bullet hole in it (no joke). I try to remember as many of these stories as possible to pass on to my kids (if I ever have any) since I won't have any of my own to tell them.

The recruiters Office Is just around the Corner :P
I tried to Get My Dad and Uncle to open up But you Know How Hard headed Us Bingleys are LOL

NYC Poke
5/26/2008, 02:52 AM
I'v been buying every sailorboy I see here in town for Fleet Week a beer. I even let one beat me at pool. ;)

Fraggle145
5/26/2008, 03:01 AM
My taekwondo instructor as a kid was a vietnam vet... Anyway he was talkin about going through basic and this guy was messing up and the drill sergeant took off his "smokey the bear" hat and threw it like a frisbee at the kid and broke the kids nose.

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 03:02 AM
I remember once I was somewher Not sure
But Me and MY bud helped a drunk sailor Outa the USO befor the MPs / shore patrol showed up
Im bitching the whole time about helpin a Dayum swabbie:D

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 03:06 AM
Aw Fraggle a basic story great
My Drill Seargent was chewing this dude out In front of the Platoon
Im mean He was reamin this dude Bad
This was befor the Stress card shat .
The Kid was so skeered He ****ed His pants .
Later after we Had did a 5 Mile forced March we all Smelled How Bad the Sarg Skeered Him .
He had shat his pants to .:eek:

Fraggle145
5/26/2008, 03:40 AM
hahahaha!

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 05:34 AM
Anyone that has ever Put on the Uniform has a storey
Lets hear it !

LoyalFan
5/26/2008, 12:38 PM
Here's a true one on me (and there are many, for better or worse.)

I'd been on active service for nearly a year, assigned to a Cavalry Squadron at Fort Knox, when I received orders to Korea. This was Summer '67, BTW.
When I arrived at KMAG (Korea Military Advisory Group) HQ at Yongsan I was directed to go immediately to the office of Da Man himself, Major General type, commanding KMAG. This fine gentleman had commanded the 1st Armored Division at Fort Polk LA during the years Dad and family were posted there, 55-58, and I remembered him for being a great guy and also an eyewitness to the only Hole-in-One I'd ever scored on the links.
It didn't hurt that he and Dad remained close buds. I figured I would somehow benefit thereby.
Well, I was ushered in to the General's office. I got off a snappy salute and "reported". "Uncle Jim" came around the desk and hugged me, telling me how proud he was to see me in my new persona.
Before I left Knox, our Squadron CO had handed me a sealed envelope. He told me I was to present same to the KMAG boss when I made my official visit to his office after arrival in Korea. So, after the hugs and handshakes, I handed the General the envelope. He opened and read it. Then, with a laugh, he handed me the note and, sure enough, it WAS on the Squadron's letterhead and WAS signed by none other than LTC B.
It stated: "General, you're getting a hardcharging young horse soldier in the person of Lt. ----, and we already miss him here, but there's something you need to know about him.
Lt. ---- is bright, funny as Hell, can out-drink the old hands, and has the makings of a fine officer, but he'll go through Army life pushing on doors marked 'Pull'.

Sincerely,
B., Peter A.
LTC, Commanding
-th Squadron, 1st Brigade"

Turd_Ferguson
5/26/2008, 12:51 PM
Thanks to all you guy's for sharing!!

Flagstaffsooner
5/26/2008, 12:57 PM
I dont think I can tell any of my humor in uniform stories. I do not recall seeing anything about a statute of limitations in the UCMJ.

AlbqSooner
5/26/2008, 01:28 PM
Went to Fort Bliss once for a training seminar. I was Air Force but they sent us all down to Bliss. Of course we had to wander across the bridge to Juarez for a little R&R. One of our guys got separated from us and we ended up coming back to the base without him.

Seems he was going from bar to bar trying to find us. He walked into this one bar and back in the corner was an American getting the sh *it kicked outta him by 6 messicans. Our buddy darted back there, grabbed the first messican, spun him around and one punch KOd the guy. Unfortunately the 6 messicans, including the one now snoozing on the floor were Juarez Police officers. The good news is they had a memo of understanding between the Juarez PD and the Fort Bliss MP. They released him to the MPs who were very stern in dealing with him until they got back across the border. Then they started laughing their arses off. Before we left Bliss, the MPs delivered him a certificate as the biggest Air Force Jackass to ever visit Bliss.

r5TPsooner
5/26/2008, 01:44 PM
Vet, does it have to be humorous? I don't want to thread jack.

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:00 PM
Vet, does it have to be humorous? I don't want to thread jack.

Naw just true
WE can LOL and Cry at the same time :D

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:18 PM
True storey from the "Olevet Files "
I just told Flag this
In Base camp I had an e6 that thot it was Funny as hell to Mess wit Me when I was In Base camp
I told him I was gonna **** him up if he kept it up
He did
I took a frag , unscrewed the Det from it . Popped it
Put it back together
Went Runnining By His tent Yellin
You MoFo I told you dont F wit me No Mo
Pulled the Pin and tossed It in his tent
He called ME SIR after that :D

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:31 PM
I dont think I can tell any of my humor in uniform stories. I do not recall seeing anything about a statute of limitations in the UCMJ.

Flag
I read the Book. Badge of Honor ?Im not sure some thing like that
They Pulled an LT back in and Court Marshalled Hissass
I was seeing the Shrink In Tulsa at the time .
I asked her Can THEY do that ??????????
She told me to Tell em
**** OFF DIP ****S
so I did

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 02:41 PM
I drank another Natty
I believe It was " Code Of Honor "

Okla-homey
5/26/2008, 03:10 PM
About 20 years ago, we used to fly out over the ocean and track ocean-going ships for practice. We were "Harpoon" equipped and thus one of our missions was anti-ship warfare. This was at the height of the Cold War when the Reds had a big blue-water navy.

The drill involved finding a surface ship, any ship really, painting it on radar, putting binos on it and writing down what we saw. That was known as "rigging" it. We then communicated that by SATCOM to SAC headquarters in Omaha.

We had a new nav we were breaking in on one of these missions. We found a ship out in the Gulf of Mexico and commenced "rigging" it. One of the spaces on the form we used called for "nationality." The young nav was all excited as we filled everything in. Especially when the co-pilot piped up that the ship's nationality was "Greek," because it was ordinarily tough to discern nationality on merchantmen.

Remember, in a BUFF, the nav and R/N don't have a window and sit in a hole aft of and below the flight deck. The nav asked how we knew. I think he said something like "can you see their flag with the binos?"

The co-pilot replied over the intercom, "No nav, but I can see two guys butt-f------ on the poop deck."

It took us about a half hour to finally stop laughing.

Turd_Ferguson
5/26/2008, 03:15 PM
About 20 years ago, we used to fly out over the ocean and track ocean-going ships for practice. We were "Harpoon" equipped and thus one of our missions was anti-ship warfare. This was at the height of the Cold War when the Reds had a big blue-water navy.

The drill involved finding a surface ship, any ship really, painting it on radar, putting binos on it and writing down what we saw. That was known as "rigging" it. We then communicated that by SATCOM to SAC headquarters in Omaha.

We had a new nav we were breaking in on one of these missions. We found a ship out in the Gulf of Mexico and commenced "rigging" it. One of the spaces on the form we used called for "nationality." The young nav was all excited as we filled everything in. Especially when the co-pilot piped up that the ship's nationality was "Greek," because it was ordinarily tough to discern nationality on merchantmen.

Remember, in a BUFF, the nav and R/N don't have a window and sit in a hole aft of and below the flight deck. The nav asked how we knew. I think he said something like "can you see their flag with the binos?"

The co-pilot replied over the intercom, "No nav, but I can see two guys butt-f------ on the poop deck."

It took us about a half hour to finally stop laughing.
That should be in a book! LMMFAO!:D

badger
5/26/2008, 03:35 PM
While growing up in Wisconsin, my across-the-road neighbor was a WW2 Army vet, but for many years, I had no idea.

He was simply the kind old neighbor man that my brother and I would come say "hi" to and deliver fish we caught (which he loved) before dinner. I remember how whenever I asked how he was, he would say "stiff." Don't think inuendo here, people. He used a walker to get everywhere and based on his military service and the way he walked around slowly, I'm sure he was quite sore.

Anyway, it wasn't until after he died during my senior year in high school that I finally learned that he was a WW2 vet, but not just any vet - a Pearl Harbor vet that was attacked by Japanese planes that fateful Sunday morning. He was on his way to church and had to hide in the roadway ditch. The planes were so close he could see the pilot faces.

He was an amazing person in all respects. He was the oldest man I knew, but still mowed his own lawn around all the tall trees in his backyard. He had a housekeeper, but still did most of the work himself up until his unexpected death.

No wonder they were the "Greatest Generation." They sacrificed so much, yet this badger had no idea of his service until she was 18 and ready to graduate high school. That's not me being naive or ignorant of the obvious, btw. He was just being modest, that's all. He didn't prominently display war medals, or wonder where his parades were. He was just a nice neighbor.

And so, here's to you, Ardie Konkel. You served your country well, but were too humble to let it on to anyone else.

olevetonahill
5/26/2008, 03:37 PM
About 20 years ago, we used to fly out over the ocean and track ocean-going ships for practice. We were "Harpoon" equipped and thus one of our missions was anti-ship warfare. This was at the height of the Cold War when the Reds had a big blue-water navy.

The drill involved finding a surface ship, any ship really, painting it on radar, putting binos on it and writing down what we saw. That was known as "rigging" it. We then communicated that by SATCOM to SAC headquarters in Omaha.

We had a new nav we were breaking in on one of these missions. We found a ship out in the Gulf of Mexico and commenced "rigging" it. One of the spaces on the form we used called for "nationality." The young nav was all excited as we filled everything in. Especially when the co-pilot piped up that the ship's nationality was "Greek," because it was ordinarily tough to discern nationality on merchantmen.

Remember, in a BUFF, the nav and R/N don't have a window and sit in a hole aft of and below the flight deck. The nav asked how we knew. I think he said something like "can you see their flag with the binos?"

The co-pilot replied over the intercom, "No nav, but I can see two guys butt-f------ on the poop deck."

It took us about a half hour to finally stop laughing.
You Just cant resist Diggin on the Frag can you ?:D

badger
5/26/2008, 03:37 PM
Oh... I wasn't nearly humorous enough. Let's dish out the humor, shall we?
http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/4245/plantejr5.gif
:D

Okla-homey
5/26/2008, 03:41 PM
That should be in a book! LMMFAO!:D

happy you got a kick out of that.

Here's a Bongo-Five-Two toting a Harpoon on the wing while in A/R "pre-contact" position. This was shot from the tanker boom pod. Note the open refueling doors. Just above and behind the pilots' heads.

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/1483/agm84dnc5.jpg

Here's an AGM-87 "Harpoon" in flight. It's really just an anti-ship cruise missile. The profile involved launch at around 25K as i recall, whereupon the missile descended to just above wave height and streaked along till it struck the target ship. It came in both air and surface launched variants. I reckon they are still in the inventory. Pretty cool weapon because you could launch it way beyond the range of a ships defenses. That said, US Navy boatpeople I spoke with felt their "Phalanx" radar-directed gatling gun system could kill the missile before it hit them...but I don't know for sure of course because we never got to pop one at them.

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/6926/agmkopp4ui2.jpg

r5TPsooner
5/26/2008, 04:09 PM
Naw just true
WE can LOL and Cry at the same time :D

OK, my one and only military story. My father was proud to serve in WWII and he went there a sober guy and came back what was told to us, as a binge alcoholic. My father was the greatest guy in the world when he was sober but when he was drunk, let's just say he had a Napolean Complex and got meaner the more he drank.

Anyway, he was three sheets in the wind and I was seventeen (dumb as your normal 17 year old) and I finally asked the all important question... did you ever kill anyone in combat. My father looked me dead in the eye, handed me a glass of whiskey and said that he'd answer my question only if I never asked him it again.

With tears in his eyes and whiskey on his breath, he told me how he once killed a soldier with his knife. The soldier looked up at at him with a look of deadly fear. He later went on to tell me how he had killed at least three other people and that every nite that he went to bed, he saw there faces like it was yesterday.

He said that is all that I needed to know about his military service and he pulled his shirt up and showed me a wound that looked like a gun shot wound on his right side. He then went into his closet, and showed me an array of medals (which at that point meant a hill of beans to me due to stupidity and lack of knowledge that I had about military) and then he leaned back, told me to finish my drink, and to never ever, make him answer any more questions about killing. He then told me to put any military aspirations that I may have to rest, because his only son would not be a military man but the first male in our family to go and later graduate from college.

I never asked him again, but I do cherish the American Flag that I received at his funeral and the medals and military picture that I have of him. That picture of him in his military best.... is the ONLY picture that I have of my dad thanks to a greedy bitch of a half sister.

Father, RIP, and I'm sorry that I can't be at the cemetery to thank you for your service on this all important day.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Now, I must be a father and play with my kids in the back yard and drink a shot of bourbon in his honor.

Thanks for letting me brag on my dad, if only to a message board full of cyber pals.

Rogue
5/26/2008, 04:37 PM
So, there I was in Saudi Arabia. Just turned 18 a few weeks before in Iraq and I'm burning **** from the "howdy neighbor" outhouses with another low-ranking private talking, as usual, about what we were gonna do when we got home. He gets a Red Cross letter that some family member (grandparent if I recall) just passed and he had to go home for the funeral. I was trying to offer him condolences and he laughed it off, saying they weren't ever close and he barely knew the relative. He said it was about the luckiest thing that could have happened to him and wished me luck on his way to pack his stuff.

****-burning 101 :
Yup, from back at least as far as the 1950s in Korea, Army units have peed into pipes and burned cut-off barrels full of waste with a mixture of gas and diesel fuel. You light it, stir it with a stick and basically tend the **** for a couple hours until the awful deed is done. Pretty glamorous, huh?

Rogue
5/26/2008, 04:41 PM
Back on Ft. Bliss I got in trouble for some thing or other and had to buff floors in the admin. offices this particular weekend. My fellow lock-in was a slow kid from California with a wife and 2 kids. He told me stories about Grateful Dead concerts and forlornly told me how his life's ambition was to buy a VW bus and follow the Dead around but, he got a girl pregnant and his life took a different direction. I thought he was going to cry and couldn't, for the life of me, understand how he had such low goals. Now I understand that cat a little better and hope he got to see them again a few more times before Jerry passed. Peace.

Okla-homey
5/26/2008, 04:46 PM
****-burning 101 :
Yup, from back at least as far as the 1950s in Korea, Army units have peed into pipes and burned cut-off barrels full of waste with a mixture of gas and diesel fuel. You light it, stir it with a stick and basically tend the **** for a couple hours until the awful deed is done. Pretty glamorous, huh?

and my guys said it was even nastier to burn waste from the female troopies. Think about it. They sit for both functions. Thus, the barrel gets full faster, and less solids means more liquid...harder to burn.:eek:

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/26/2008, 04:52 PM
I've wondered why they don't just do it in the sand? I mean, it's hot and dry and seems like the moisture would evaporate almost immediately. Would it be too stinky even if it dried really fast?

But then again, I guess the people litter box would be pretty big, huh?

Sorry. That just made me wonder out loud. I don't have a story or anything.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/26/2008, 04:56 PM
But then again, the crappy job wouldn't be burning dookie pots, it would be sifting giant people turds out of the giant litter box.

'Crappy job'.

:les: HAHAhahajhajhahHAHA!H11h1hh!h!

Okla-homey
5/26/2008, 04:59 PM
I've wondered why they don't just do it in the sand? I mean, it's hot and dry and seems like the moisture would evaporate almost immediately. Would it be too stinky even if it dreid really fast?

But then again, I guess the people litter box would be pretty big, huh?

Sorry. That just made me wonder out loud. I don't have a story or anything.

I'm not saying some random peeing doesn't happen, but if you're going to be in one place for a while, its just healthier to confine poopage to a single point.

Both sides lost an awful lot of guys in the Civil War because their leaders didn't understand that. Especially since those guys tended to use streams as toilets, often while some unsuspecting guy was dipping a bucket downstream to make coffee.:O

AlbqSooner
5/26/2008, 05:00 PM
A couple of years ago my neice got a jeep. She is actually a pretty fair off road driver but she managed to get it stuck in the rolling hills of eastern Oklahoma. A few days later she was talking to my dad and asked him about when he was in Italy during WWII. "Grandpa you guys had jeeps over there. What did you do when you got them stuck?"

Dad thought a second and, with a straight face, said, "We usually ran like hell cuz when they were stuck the Germans could home in the mortar fire on them."

reevie
5/26/2008, 05:51 PM
Here you go Homey. This was last summer, a re-creation of a 1938 sea interdiction flight.

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/4702/b52andbobora0.jpg

Okla-homey
5/26/2008, 07:39 PM
Here you go Homey. This was last summer, a re-creation of a 1938 sea interdiction flight.

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/4702/b52andbobora0.jpg

Billy Mitchell, <peace be upon him> really pizzed the battleship mafia off when he showed that battlewagons simply could not menace US coasts as long as we had a land-based Air Force on each coast.

Frankly, that is also why this country remains impervious to conventional amphibious assault. You have to win air superiority over the beach before you can land troops.

Unfortunately, Abdullah Bin Fatwa figgered that out and engineered a work-around in 2001. To this day, the thing that bothers me the most is the thought of a dirty bomb detonated in a sea-land container aboard ship (like the ones stacked on that container ship's deck) in one of our great seaports like LA, NYC, SF, St Louis, Baltimore or NOLA. Hell, they could even hit Catoosa that way and if the wind was right, make a lot of Okies very ill with radiation sickness.

AggieTool
5/26/2008, 09:55 PM
I'v been buying every sailorboy I see here in town for Fleet Week a beer. I even let one beat me at pool. ;)

Ughhh, I take that to mean they spanked yer arse.:D

Turd_Ferguson
5/26/2008, 09:55 PM
happy you got a kick out of that.

Here's a Bongo-Five-Two toting a Harpoon on the wing while in A/R "pre-contact" position. This was shot from the tanker boom pod. Note the open refueling doors. Just above and behind the pilots' heads.

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/1483/agm84dnc5.jpg


I've seen the Harpoon in action skimming across the water and then popping up at the last few seconds to strike from the top down.

A question if you will: Why, in the few 52 takeoffs that I've watched, does it seem like the a/c is nose down during climb out? Was going from the 52 to 2 like from a lincoln continental to a ferarri?:D

Okla-homey
5/27/2008, 06:52 AM
I've seen the Harpoon in action skimming across the water and then popping up at the last few seconds to strike from the top down.

A question if you will: Why, in the few 52 takeoffs that I've watched, does it seem like the a/c is nose down during climb out? Was going from the 52 to 2 like from a lincoln continental to a ferarri?:D

the BUFF does appear to take off and climb-out that way because it actually does. It has to do with the incidence of the wing, its chord and angle of attack. You can google all that if you'e really interested. I didn't fly B-2's. I flew BUFF's and BONE's.

StoopTroup
5/27/2008, 06:56 AM
I once was forced to wash my arse in a cold Colorado stream while on a 4 day hunt. It's the kind of experience one never forgets.

A tad chilly it was. :eek:

SoonerStormchaser
5/27/2008, 10:22 AM
I was on a sortie in Nav School when one of the instructors was asking the guy sitting next to me where we were heading (implying he needed to check his systems with his navigational chart).

The guy sitting next to me points towards the cockpit and says "that way sir!"

He failed that ride ;)

Flagstaffsooner
5/27/2008, 02:18 PM
Okay Ill fess up on one. In the OKANG I was an eletronics tech. There was a guy in the engineering section that everyone hated, a real a-hole named Billy Jack (I kid you not). He was a SMSgt. He used to go the the latrine every morning at about 1100hrs and take a dump in the far end stall.

We got this huge capacitor from a AC&W radar. Looked like a roll of paper towels covered with cement. WE charged it up with a hand cranked generator thingy thay the radio guys had and put it behind the crapper in that end stall. We taped the + and - leads from this thing on either side of the toilet seat with some white conductive tape.

Well instead of Billy Jack using the crapper the CO (who usually had a nip of Scotch) sat on it. He flew off that seat and his head busted the stalls door down.

olevetonahill
5/27/2008, 05:09 PM
Some good ones , keep it up .

SoonerKnight
5/28/2008, 02:25 AM
Well let's see I served as well as my father and my grand-father. So I'll tell their story.

My grand father walked quite a few miles from his small town to a recruiting station to join the Marines only to be turned away in 1940. They claimed flat feet a year later they took him and he became a very good Marine! In the South Pacific he was able to take out two Japenese platoon nests and pick his injured buddy up and march quite a few miles back to camp. His buddy lived. He was awarded the Silver Star and Navy Cross among other awards. He also served in Korea and at the age of 46 or 47 with 2 years before retierment he volunteered for the fight in Vietnam. It was 1965. As a Gunnery Sgt. he didn't have to go on a fatal mission that ended his life but he did because his troops needed a break. He took a group of green south vietnamese troops into the jungle which apparently was the route to take for them to go to the firing range. (If anyone goes to D.C. and they want to Carbon his name for me PM me and I give his name.)

They took fire and he responded with what was called effective fire. Killing several Viet Cong. Unfortunately a sniper hit him and he didn't make it. The troops he was with were so affected by his courage that they not only won the fire fight but took the head of the sniper as prize.

My father was in Korea and Vietnam. My Grand father is my mom's father and my father was 15 years older than my mom so that's why it may sound funny that my father and my grand-father fought in the same war.

My father was in Korea when the base was over ran by Chinese soldiers. My father ran for cover as the shells were flying. His knee was shredded and he was saved by a Marine that got him evacuated and then went back to fight not to be seen again.

My father recovered and also fought in Vietnam only because of the knee he went into the Navy and severed his ship was hit and he injured his shoulder. My father only told me one story and it was quite detailed I can only imagine how bad it was. He never ever told anyone else his war stories. He told me after I joined the Navy.

I have no good story to tell I served under semi-peaceful times. Only had a run in with a Chinese Destroyer and MiG.

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 02:54 AM
Spek to your Pops and Dad
Id Like to hear thre Fuinny stuf that happenend to yoU inin uniform
Do I need to start a thread of Bad stuff ?
You served you Faced some Funny assshaht;)
Do it Bro

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 03:10 AM
What Is wrong with you Peeps ?

I said Humor , If It it Happened In Uniform then it Fits ;) ok ?
In Basic A dude that that was a squad leader
Yelled out to the DS , Said I got to Pee
DS said give me 20 pullups and go pee
Chopan couldnt do 5 , DS said Give me 100 sit ups . aint happening :rolleyes: So DS says Give me 50 Push ups , Chopan cant do it
So DS say Low Crawl undr the Barracks then Ill let you go .
While Cho-pan is doing the Lowcrawl
Ds Breaks us all to Hit the the LaTrene
Cho-Pan comes running in with his wanger out saying Ole hell yeas
DS Is Banging him on the head and Yelling " Times UP "
To this day I dont understand why Cho-pan Didnt roll over and Peeee undre the Barracks

Blue
5/28/2008, 04:07 AM
My grand pops survived being o POW in Germany. No funny stories, but I'M HERE!

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 04:24 AM
My grand pops survived being o POW in Germany. No funny stories, but I'M HERE!

Thats pretty f ***ing funny right there ! lol
You Know I love Ya Blue !:D

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 04:27 AM
Ok Deano I Konw you gots one . Share it Beatch ;)

Blue
5/28/2008, 05:32 AM
Thats pretty f ***ing funny right there ! lol
You Know I love Ya Blue !:D


Glad somebody does. Buncha tight asses...


Here's to you Mr. granpa survivor so I can F it up onSoonerfans.....

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 05:36 AM
Glad somebody does. Buncha tight asses...


Here's to you Mr. granpa survivor so I can F it up onSoonerfans.....

No Bro
Its Here to Pops Thanks
Big Difference

Blue
5/28/2008, 05:39 AM
Here's to my granpa who wascaptured by the Germans and lived to come home and make my worthless life possible. You da man...Papa. Happy M-Day.

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 05:42 AM
Here's to my granpa who wascaptured by the Germans and lived to come home and make my worthless life possible. You da man...Papa. Happy M-Day.

Did he leave US a storey ?

Blue
5/28/2008, 05:47 AM
He didn't talk much about it. He was a good man though. He grew vegetables and fruits and distributed them around Valdosta, Ga.

Works don't get you in but he was a man of God. That'sthe only thing that gives worthless POS's like us hope. Treat people like you want to be treated.

olevetonahill
5/28/2008, 05:50 AM
He didn't talk much about it. He was a good man though. He grew vegetables and fruits and distributed them around Valdosta, Ga.

Works don't get you in but he was a man of God. That'sthe only thing that gives worthless POS's like us hope. Treat people like you want to be treated.

God Bless your Pops Bro :cool:

Blue
5/28/2008, 05:58 AM
I feel like an *** for not knowing his stories....but he didn't want to tell them. He was a good man though...

SoonerKnight
5/28/2008, 11:20 PM
Ok. Funny story. One the cooks on the ship went out and got sh*t faced he come back to the ship early morning and doesn't wake up on time. His LPO goes down to where he is sleeping and wakes him up he smells like booz and the LPO tells him to sleep it off and nothing happens to him.

A year later our ship reassigned to the states we had been stationed in Japan. This guy had decided on his own to take it easy with the drinking and had no further problems but the CO says we got to send you to rehab. So he goes away for like a month or so. His only incident happened a year previous. He comes back from the "rehab" all wierd and shat so he goes out that night and gets pretty hammered. The base police gave hi a courtesy ride back to the ship cuz he wasn't walking so well. I was pulling duty that night and see the cruiser pull up thinking uh oh someone screwed up! This guy gets out of the car and see's the ship and starts screaming "No I can't go back the ship is evil!!!!" They were escorting him up and he grabs a hold of the rails and refuses to walk the rest of the way up to the ship.

The officer of the deck was a real jerk usually but I told him that I was friends with this guy and could get him on the ship and tucked in no problem. He says do it or I'll put him up on charges. So I go down I talk to him and he agrees to come quietly. I take him down to the smoke break and listen to him spill his guts about this place they sent him too. I about to get him to go to his berthing when he climbs the ships rail and says I'm gonna jump. I pull him down and tell him I'm gonna kick his a** if he does that cuz I don't like swimming in freezing water. He finally calm down and his new LPO talked to him for about two hours and was able to get him to sleep it off. Just goes to show how the military can fix people.

A bit funnier story. A guy in my division who was prior Army and from Arkansas and dumb as brick decides that while we were in Mexico he was going to get a tan. He fell asleep and ended up baking in the sun with no shirt no shorts and no sunblock for about 8-10 hours. When he got back to the ship they wrote him up for destruction of government property. He was redder than a lobster and had severe burns. He didn't last long. Never was sure how he made it in the Army! :D

Flagstaffsooner
5/29/2008, 11:44 AM
I used to record stuff from the M*A*S*H movie soundtrack album onto my answering machine. We would call my home number on a class C phone and patch it into the squadron squak box on the class A phone system. Drove the brass crazy, they could never figure out where it was coming from.

olevetonahill
5/30/2008, 07:59 AM
Guess Im a wierdo . I always Played with the Grenades :pop:

olevetonahill
5/30/2008, 08:01 AM
Vet, does it have to be humorous? I don't want to thread jack.

As sick as we are It will be Funny !:D

olevetonahill
5/30/2008, 08:16 AM
AIT
Live Granade Training :pop:
Its Me again :D
we Had a Butter bar ,In the Bunker with Us
Live Grenade .
Butter Bar ( Frag mag )
Hes watchin Me like a Hawk:cool:
I pull the Pin and Toss , then Yell OH Shat and Fumble a dud around butter Bar goes screamin, I Go to the Hooze gow fer 2 days :D
They said I shouldnt have Have the Dud In the Pit :rolleyes:
I tried tellin em It was Frag mag Not me .
:D ;)

C&CDean
5/30/2008, 08:28 AM
I had just finished jump school and was making my first jump with my permanent party unit. It was a mass tactical (6 C-130s lined up nose-to-tail) and it was my first jump with combat gear - since all the jump school jumps were "Hollywood" (just a helmet, parachutes, and kit bag). I was an RTO, so I had a prick-77 radio and a couple spare batteries, M-16, ammo, chow, gear, etc. all in a WIECE bag that you lower below you after you jump - cause if you hit the ground with it on your person it'd break your legs/hips/back/neck.

Anyhow, I'm first in the door, and I'm nervous as a whore in church. We go through our jump commands, the final one being "STAND IN THE DOOR!!" I scootch up to the door, hand my static line to the jumpmaster, and put my hands on the outside of the plane ready for the green light. About that time, the jumpmaster taps me on the shoulder and holds up a frayed and ripped static line end. He smiles, and yells GO! and the ****er shoves me out the door. I'm doing the "one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand....." ****ting bricks the whole time.

I'm spinning like a top in the propwash cause I didn't get a good exit, and my parachute deployed very slowly, so I didn't feel any opening shock like you normally do. Slowly my chute deployed, and as I'm trying to spread my risers to look up I'm spinning like a top as I unwind. I barely managed to get my bag dropped before I plowed in like a ton of **** - still spinning. Of course a lesser man would have bought the farm...

I found out later that every cherry boy pretty much got the similar treatment.

olevetonahill
5/30/2008, 08:38 AM
Pusscy :D :D :D :D
If My chute dont open wide !
Ill be a spot on the country side :D
The Gooks woulda Loved ya :pop:

olevetonahill
5/30/2008, 09:49 AM
After 9 Months In Country
I get R an R
Get to Sydney
spent the 1st Night In the Tub. had 2 Bottles Of Black Jack 2 Cases Of coke and an Ice chest full of Ice
Id Get cold and run More hiot water in the Tub , Id get alil drunker and Reach over with My toe and Flush that thing . Just to hear the sound .
LMFAO , Grab some MO Jack and Coke and do it all over again .
:D
Yall would Call me a Fag If I told Ya whAT I turned down Just to enjoy the Tub ,:D

SoonerKnight
5/30/2008, 07:24 PM
When I first got to my ship in Japan I had to work in the kitchen you see your unit but the first three months is in the kitchen everyone has to go through this. Anyway I get done with my kitchen time and go to my unit it took only a couple of days get certified as a helmsman. So I my first day on watch all trained with only a couple days training on driving the dang ship I get called down from foward lookout to take over the helm because a guy who had 2 years experience on the helm was freaking out.

We were doing joint excercises and were conducting manuvers such as leap frog manuvers. We had to get really close to the other ships and then cross in front of them. The officer of watch is spitting out commands left and right they have to be repeated and then carried out quickly in order for everything to go smoothly. The guy with all this time was so nervous that instead of confidently spitting out the commands he replies to the officer "say again Con, I didn't hear that."

So I get called down to replace him I'm nervous as all get out and I start spitting out the commands and doing as told trying not to actually watch where we was a going cuz it would only make ya even more nervouse. The officer starts relaxing because I'm doing a pretty good job then the CO comes up there and says "Damn you might just do all right up here. We might just get you master helms qualified." Well I stay up there throughout the excercise and eventually get relieved. That was how I got broke in to driving a really fast and really expensive warship.

SoonerKnight
5/30/2008, 07:45 PM
So a few months later I am on my way up to the bridge to take over the helm and I see the night bake in the kitchen. He has his stuff on the tables making rolls and what not and this is the guy who made my life hell while I was in the kitchen so I think to myself pay back is a bitch! :D

I get on the helm and the sea is like glass and I had noticed the night baker had not secured the kitchen so I start to make my own rough seas. A ship design to turn on a dime also will also rock back and forth pretty quickly if done correctly with out deviating from assigned course so I proceed to rock the ship just enough that I know the night baker is going to have "fun" cleaning later. :D

Apparently I woke the Captain cuz he comes up there looks out at the water turns and looks at me and says knock that shat off I thought we had hit weather or something. I smile and acknowledge and later I go by the kitchen and there is flour and pans everywhere and say to the asshat baker "So what happened here the water wasn't rough!" I smile and he says "It was you driving wasn't?" I say coulld've been have a nice night. :D He never talk sh*t after that.

Awhile later a Chief Petty officer (E-7) who was a cook was filling in as the night baker and I walk by and see him cooking away I laugh and call out to him hey chief "You're not using salt are you?" He replied "yeah why" I say you got to be careful salt hurts whn you get it in a paper cut. He grumbled spomething and walked away. It is a wonder the cooks didn't try to "fix" my chow. :D Of course that same Chief asks me later if I'd like to work for him in the kitchen as a cook. I confidently told him no way in hell was I going to cook on that ship.

SoonerKnight
6/2/2008, 12:34 AM
anymore stories?

olevetonahill
6/2/2008, 12:46 AM
anymore stories?

I guess No one Had any fun while In the Service Of Our Great Country !

2 dolla =steam bath , BJ , Masage. worked for me :D

olevetonahill
6/2/2008, 12:55 AM
Most Of My stories aint Fit fer Mixed Company :hot:

SoonerKnight
6/2/2008, 01:51 AM
I have a few of those stories! Can't repeat them! ;)