badger
5/16/2008, 02:15 PM
In honor of it STILL being offseason, I think we should rehearse some of our upcoming opponent's school songs... with revised words. I am also trying to edit them all to be safe for work, but I should warn you that you might choke if you start to laugh, so don't be drinking coffee while readin', mkay?
Again, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, THEY INSULT EACH OTHER HERE AND AREN'T VERY NICE TO ANYONE. But, it can be kind of funny ;)
Note: I did NOT think of any of these. I stole them from online :D
COLORADO
1.
Colorado:
Glory, Glory Coloradder
Lick my cr@ck and drink my bl@dder
You're not going to a bowl game
Watch NU on TV
Expected Championship game opponent: Georgia:
1. To the tune of The University of Georgia Fight Song:
Don't send my boy to M.I.T.
The dying mother said.
Don't send my boy to Emory
I'd rather see him dead.
But send my boy to Georgia Tech
'Tis better than Cornell.
But as for University of Georgia:
I'd RATHER SEE HIM IN H*LL
CHORUS:
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
The Cesspool of the South!
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the stomping of the dogs,
We will teach those poor darn farmboys they should stick to slopping hogs,
When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty cheer,
"We'll do the same next year!"
On the field between the hedges there arose a mighty stench,
In the dog machine the engineers will throw a monkey wrench,
When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty yell,
"Them dogs can go to h*ll!"
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the NCAA,
They're investigating Georgia players to see how much their paid,
After counting all the cars, and the loans alumni made,
They outpaid the NBA (*)
* Alternative lyric: NC State
KANSAS
1. Sung to the KU alma mater:
Across the stagnant water
Beneath the sky so blue
Lies an abandoned outhouse
That they call KU
Alma Mater
Flush the water
Let the pipes run true
20000 *****S and ******S
Down at old KU
Rock Chalk chickenhawk **** KU
(repeat twice)
2.
To the tune of the KU fight song
I'm a g** g** g**-g** g**hawk and I don't like girls at all
(repeat)
I love to see the boys with their tight little jeans
I love to stick my **** between their cheeks when I cr...
caus I'm a g** g** g** g** g**hawk and I don't like girls at all!!!!
NEBRASKA
One Tinhorn Doctor [Mark Mitchell, 1996]
(tune of "One Tin Soldier" a.k.a. "The Theme from Billy Jack")
Go ahead and beat your girlfriend,
Go ahead and wield a gun,
If you do it in the name of Huskers,
It'll never bother dear old Tom,
And on the bloody Sunday after ... Dr. Tom will watch some film.
Go ahead and r... your sister,
Go ahead and kill your pop,
If you can run a 4.0 40,
Dr. Tom is gonna sign you up,
And on the bloody Sunday after ... Husker fans will cheer and shout.
:eek: I have NEVER heard these before... :eek:
OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY
1.
Eat me, L*** Me
Ride Me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
Spread my b... ch.....
Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
You have no di...
Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
You all eat ****
And you all **** (coaches name) ****
2.
Hide, hide, hide, hide,
Hide now, Cowboys,
Get off the field;
Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall!
Fall down Cowboys,
You always yield.
Lose, lose, lose, lose,
Lose now, Cowboys,
You always do;
You won
Because we know that OSU --****S!
In honor of recent U$C scandals...
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
1. This one's from the Cal Band - sung to USC's "Fight On"
Fight on for old C$,
Play football here, we pay the best.
We buy each victory.
Last week we bought the referee.
No need to enroll,
Education's never our goal,
Play here.
Fight on for old $c,
The halfback draws a salary.
The ends have all been fired.
They've been no good since they were hired.
No need to enroll,
Education's never our goal,
Play here.
Texas
(I have heard the other version many times, but this one is a little different and less profane)
"THE NOSE OF OKLAHOMA"
This is a corruption of the University of Texas song "Eyes of Texas," sung
to the tune of "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad."
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you
All the live long day!
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you
Why don't you just go away?
Always bragging of your greatness,
Shooting off your mouth,
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you,
Our neighbors to the south!
Texas A&M:
We are a bunch of country h!cks,
We are a bunch of country h!cks.
We really are a bunch of country h!cks,
We feel at home when we are in the sticks,
We thunk we are fairly good at farmin'
We sure ain't no good at thut there book larning'
They call our school a university,
It's a lot more like a clink, clinkity clink.
Attending it sure is an adversity.
Enough to make you want to take a little drink,
Take a little drink. Maybe take a great big drink.
Fish really envy all those Senior coots,
They get to wear them protective boots.
Slick spots you step on in the barnyard soil,
Are very, very, very seldom oil.
They tell us the flies of Texas are upon us,
Our campus barnyard really stinks, stinks like heck!
Conditions there are very odorous.
Enough to make you want to take a little drink,
Take a little drink. Maybe take two great big drinks.
We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank,
We'll now forget the words [-pause-]
We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank,
We'll now forget the words [-pause-]
It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse,
If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse.
Tra la la, la la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la Latrine.
It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse,
If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse.
Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey!
We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey!
Learning how to raise no crops at all,
Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball.
Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey!
We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey!
Learning how to raise no crops at all,
Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball.
Again, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, THEY INSULT EACH OTHER HERE AND AREN'T VERY NICE TO ANYONE. But, it can be kind of funny ;)
Note: I did NOT think of any of these. I stole them from online :D
COLORADO
1.
Colorado:
Glory, Glory Coloradder
Lick my cr@ck and drink my bl@dder
You're not going to a bowl game
Watch NU on TV
Expected Championship game opponent: Georgia:
1. To the tune of The University of Georgia Fight Song:
Don't send my boy to M.I.T.
The dying mother said.
Don't send my boy to Emory
I'd rather see him dead.
But send my boy to Georgia Tech
'Tis better than Cornell.
But as for University of Georgia:
I'd RATHER SEE HIM IN H*LL
CHORUS:
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
To h*ll, to h*ll to h*ll with Georgia,
The Cesspool of the South!
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the stomping of the dogs,
We will teach those poor darn farmboys they should stick to slopping hogs,
When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty cheer,
"We'll do the same next year!"
On the field between the hedges there arose a mighty stench,
In the dog machine the engineers will throw a monkey wrench,
When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty yell,
"Them dogs can go to h*ll!"
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the NCAA,
They're investigating Georgia players to see how much their paid,
After counting all the cars, and the loans alumni made,
They outpaid the NBA (*)
* Alternative lyric: NC State
KANSAS
1. Sung to the KU alma mater:
Across the stagnant water
Beneath the sky so blue
Lies an abandoned outhouse
That they call KU
Alma Mater
Flush the water
Let the pipes run true
20000 *****S and ******S
Down at old KU
Rock Chalk chickenhawk **** KU
(repeat twice)
2.
To the tune of the KU fight song
I'm a g** g** g**-g** g**hawk and I don't like girls at all
(repeat)
I love to see the boys with their tight little jeans
I love to stick my **** between their cheeks when I cr...
caus I'm a g** g** g** g** g**hawk and I don't like girls at all!!!!
NEBRASKA
One Tinhorn Doctor [Mark Mitchell, 1996]
(tune of "One Tin Soldier" a.k.a. "The Theme from Billy Jack")
Go ahead and beat your girlfriend,
Go ahead and wield a gun,
If you do it in the name of Huskers,
It'll never bother dear old Tom,
And on the bloody Sunday after ... Dr. Tom will watch some film.
Go ahead and r... your sister,
Go ahead and kill your pop,
If you can run a 4.0 40,
Dr. Tom is gonna sign you up,
And on the bloody Sunday after ... Husker fans will cheer and shout.
:eek: I have NEVER heard these before... :eek:
OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY
1.
Eat me, L*** Me
Ride Me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
Spread my b... ch.....
Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
You have no di...
Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s
You all eat ****
And you all **** (coaches name) ****
2.
Hide, hide, hide, hide,
Hide now, Cowboys,
Get off the field;
Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall!
Fall down Cowboys,
You always yield.
Lose, lose, lose, lose,
Lose now, Cowboys,
You always do;
You won
Because we know that OSU --****S!
In honor of recent U$C scandals...
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
1. This one's from the Cal Band - sung to USC's "Fight On"
Fight on for old C$,
Play football here, we pay the best.
We buy each victory.
Last week we bought the referee.
No need to enroll,
Education's never our goal,
Play here.
Fight on for old $c,
The halfback draws a salary.
The ends have all been fired.
They've been no good since they were hired.
No need to enroll,
Education's never our goal,
Play here.
Texas
(I have heard the other version many times, but this one is a little different and less profane)
"THE NOSE OF OKLAHOMA"
This is a corruption of the University of Texas song "Eyes of Texas," sung
to the tune of "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad."
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you
All the live long day!
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you
Why don't you just go away?
Always bragging of your greatness,
Shooting off your mouth,
The Nose of Oklahoma smells you,
Our neighbors to the south!
Texas A&M:
We are a bunch of country h!cks,
We are a bunch of country h!cks.
We really are a bunch of country h!cks,
We feel at home when we are in the sticks,
We thunk we are fairly good at farmin'
We sure ain't no good at thut there book larning'
They call our school a university,
It's a lot more like a clink, clinkity clink.
Attending it sure is an adversity.
Enough to make you want to take a little drink,
Take a little drink. Maybe take a great big drink.
Fish really envy all those Senior coots,
They get to wear them protective boots.
Slick spots you step on in the barnyard soil,
Are very, very, very seldom oil.
They tell us the flies of Texas are upon us,
Our campus barnyard really stinks, stinks like heck!
Conditions there are very odorous.
Enough to make you want to take a little drink,
Take a little drink. Maybe take two great big drinks.
We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank,
We'll now forget the words [-pause-]
We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank,
We'll now forget the words [-pause-]
It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse,
If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse.
Tra la la, la la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la la.
Tra la la, la la la la Latrine.
It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse,
If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse.
Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey!
We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey!
Learning how to raise no crops at all,
Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball.
Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey!
We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey!
Learning how to raise no crops at all,
Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball.