It's hard being a husband

[Jerk]

There is a large black spider in the bathroom, on the ceiling.

And I've been told I have to go kill that mother***er.

I said, "Are you crazy?! I ain't going in there!"

You should have seen the look I got.

She said to spray it with hairspray. I said, "Wouldn't that just p*ss it off?"

I think I'll try hairspray AND a cigarette lighter.

How can I off this thing without getting devoured?

[SoonerInKCMO]

How big is it?

I had one in my kitchen once that was so big that I couldn't squash it without fear of splattering spider guts all over the floor. I put a sock over the end of the vacuum hose and sucked him up - his creepy, hairy legs were flopping around outside the hose the whole time - and then I took the vacuum outside before turning it off. Then I sprayed the bastard with bug spray and lit him on fire. Effin' spider. :mad:

[Jerk]

It's done.

Whew.

It was the size of a quarter. But it looked a lot bigger than that in real life, trust me.

[Viking Kitten]

How big is it?

I had one in my kitchen once that was so big that I couldn't squash it without fear of splattering spider guts all over the floor. I put a sock over the end of the vacuum hose and sucked him up - his creepy, hairy legs were flopping around outside the hose the hole time - and then I took the vacuum outside before turning it off. Then I sprayed the bastard with bug spray and lit him on fire. Effin' spider. :mad:

Then the spider said, "That all you got, punk?"

[swardboy]

This time of year they're notorious for looking bigger 'cause they're covered with hundreds of their babies.......yuuuuuuccckkkk. Careful.

[Jerk]

This time of year they're notorious for looking bigger 'cause they're covered with hundreds of their babies.......yuuuuuuccckkkk. Careful.

I'm glad you told me that AFTER I've done grabbed him with a fist-full of TP and flushed him down the comode.

[SoonerInKCMO]

Then the spider said, "That all you got, punk?"

You jest, yet that little bastard must've run 15 feet WHILE ON FIRE before he was done. Skeeved me the **** out. :mad:

[SoonerInKCMO]

I mean ****... I soaked the little mother****er in ant & roach killer before turning my can into a ****in' flamethrower... the ********** should be dead!! Hell no! ****er ran across the breezeway taunting my ***. I chased the ****er down though and turned his ******* into charcoal. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Chuck Bao]

I don't get spiders.

But, I've just noticed that I've got a new little gecko in my bathroom.

I'm like peeing and he catches my eye by falling off the wall and running for cover. No, I'm not peeing on him.

I don't have any insects in my apartment for him to eat and he'll probably die, but I really like the little fella.

I don't know why but spiders are generally ugly and geckos are cute.

[Jerk]

I don't know why but spiders are generally ugly and geckos are cute.

It's not rocket science...

Spider -

http://www.ee.duke.edu/~drsmith/cloaking/predator.jpg

Gecko

http://www.michaelspornanimation.com/splog/wp-content/f/geico-gecko-1.jpg

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/2/20/iseewutu128480414247656250.jpg

[VeeJay]

Having spent 15 years in South Florida, I had lizards in the house all the time. Dunno how they got in, but I left 'em alone. Fuggers would be upside down, on the ceiling, and I'd just toast my highball glass o' whiskey at 'em, knowing they loved to eat the ants and spiders.

Long live da lizards.

[mdklatt]

Spiders and lizards in the house are all better than bats in the house.

[SoonerBorn68]

It's done.

Whew.

It was the size of a quarter. But it looked a lot bigger than that in real life, trust me.


<sigh> You could have shot it with your FAL.

Dude, spider. You man card is going to expire soon. :D

[Jerk]

<sigh> You could have shot it with your FAL.

Dude, spider. You man card is going to expire soon. :D

Yeah, I know.

You are what you eat.

I'm a p***y.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

After reading and watching The Mist, no spider escapes my wrath

[r5TPsooner]

I have a size 14 and an exterminator who takes care of all spidey's.

Scorpions are what I dislike.

[12]

Spiders are good.

...on BACON!

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Looks like you might need some gum after eating them deep fried...

http://ewenbell.com/digital/cambodia-markets/1964-fried-spiders-and-gum.jpg

[NormanPride]

Oh man, there is so much pg neg flyin around in here it's crazy. I'm going to go hide.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Yeah. It's gonna be bad.

Happy Mother's Day!

http://kaweahoaks.com/html/spider_wolfmommy2.jpg

[SoonerInKCMO]

Hell, I might neg you for that one. :mad:

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I know somebody who can take care of that problem
http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/gallery/albums/userpics/10003/goodman_spiders_450.jpg

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

What? You guys don't like her babyfro?

[SoonerInKCMO]

I'll be in town in a few weeks. I will find you. :mad:

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

O HAI!!!

http://www.whatjamiefound.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/happy_spider.jpg

[mdklatt]

Yeah. It's gonna be bad.

Happy Mother's Day!

http://kaweahoaks.com/html/spider_wolfmommy2.jpg


What? You guys don't like her babyfro?


This is undoubtedly the greatest post sequence in SO history.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

go play pool BSG..please

[proud gonzo]

1) antibacterial kitchen spray and a hammer. They're the best weapon if you don't have any napalm around.

2) you're all getting negged :mad:

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I better not! I told her to stop a long time ago!

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

:les: INCOMING!!!

[StoopTroup]

1) antibacterial kitchen spray and a hammer. They're the best weapon if you don't have any napalm around.

2) you're all getting negged :mad:

In your Honor PG :D


wWsfLszNcxM

[SoonerInKCMO]

:les: INCOMING!!!

:les: NEG HER BACK!!!

[StoopTroup]

I was moving an old yard timber that was sitting next to the fence for the last 6-10 years. Under it were some of the largest earthworms I've seen in awhile. I picked up three of them and turned to my Daughter last night and said "I bet you'd hate having these babies down your shirt huh?"

She then freaked out, backpeddled into the mower and lost her balance, landed on the top of the mower and rolled off the other side.

She was startled and began to cry so I threw the worms down in the yard and rushed her into Mommie to clean her up and get her a nice soaker bath. We later talked about how you shouldn't let stuff that can't hurt you, bother you. Doing so might make you run into a car or truck or in the workplace turn into a glass window. I mean which would hurt worse? Getting stung by a bee or running out in from of a semi-truck trying to get away from the bee?

Anyway...

If your so scared of worms...how can you even walk through the yard to get to school? :D

I later got a hug goodnight but I'm thinking this isn't over.

I better not turn my back on her for awhile. :D

[SoonerTerry]

Yeah, I know.

You are what you eat.

I'm a pansy.


??????:gary:

[SoonerTerry]

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/SimTechMan/Brownrecluse.jpg

[Fugue]

She was startled and began to cry so I threw the worms down in the yard and rushed her into Mommie to clean her up and get her a nice soaker bath. We later talked about how you shouldn't let jackasses that tease you, bother you. Doing so might make you run into a car or truck or in the workplace turn into a glass window. I mean which would hurt worse? Getting stung by a bee or running out in from of a semi-truck trying to get away from the bee?


:texan:

[soonermix]

from the other thread i am just following directions

[MojoRisen]

Spiders are smart, I moved into a house in the deep woods and no one had lived there for a couple of years. The first summer I must have had 200 large spider sightings - I mean huge half dollar sized garden spiders - I started whacking them and ultimately talking a lot of shiate at them and went to war with them. After about 50 brothern whacked they began to do anything to stay out of my sight and run for cover anytime I started talking shiate at them. Those suckers can hear and learn pretty quickly.

[BigRedJed]

If you were a man, you'd just give it a good barehanded swat.

http://davidmichaelkennedy.com/blog/media/heather-banana-spider.jpg

[Chuck Bao]

Bump for page three because I keep opening this thread and seeing the top of page two and it fricken freaks me out.

[proud gonzo]

****ers, all of you.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Okay, Mrs. THA is the same way...

She sees anything in the house not allowed...stomp it to death. Me, based on my Boy Scout upbringing, I'm a catch and release outside guy (except for roaches). But that isn't good enough, she wants to see squished guts. I had to lie to her about the gecko that got into the house. She still thinks (or has convinced herself) that they live in between the bricks and the house...Gecko's will not get touched and will be encouraged to breed. They eat those 'skeeters.

[olevetonahill]

Ok Heres the Facts
If your a Husband , the Only time ITS hard is when she says It can be

[BigRedJed]

http://data1.blog.de/media/790/2040790_33f597038d_m.jpeg

[BigRedJed]

PG will probably neg me for that one too.

[proud gonzo]

i detected malicious intent.

[Viking Kitten]

I don't think malicious intent is humanly possible with Boston Terriers. You might start out with malicious intent, but it's not sustainable. I mean, look at him. Just look at him. Dang.

[BigRedJed]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/reputation/reputation_neg.gifIt's hard being a husband (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2291983#post2291983)5/10/2008 11:00 AMproud gonzo (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/member.php?u=37757):les: YER DAMN RIGHT!