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View Full Version : Hey Dean...



yermom
4/24/2008, 04:24 PM
thoughts?

http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/bulkmailer/



You know those obnoxious "refinance your home" or credit card scams offers that you get in the mail? This is called direct marketing, where marketers use a reduced bulk postal rate to send entire forests of paper mail to you.

So this is something you can do in response.

Find a shoebox, or a storage bin, or any cardboard box you have laying around. Fill it up with bricks, big blocks of iron, or maybe cement. Tape the box up with everyday packaging tape. Use a junkmail's postage-paid envelope and tape it neatly to the top cover of the box. NEATLY. And mail it off. Envelope revenge!

A few days later, your package shows up at the junk mailer's location, and they have to pay for every cent of delivery. Once the cost outweighs the benefit, they will stop sending out direct mail marketing material. And that is my goal.

Doing this has the following beneficial side effects:

-Since these companies pay the post office, this lightens the load taxpayers need to pay to keep the post office operating

-This creates employment opportunities. The post office keeps cutting staff because of lack of buisness; this gives the post office a huge source of income from the credit card scam companies.

-This will lead to more cautious bulk mailing. Maybe these junk mailers simply don't know they are annoying people? Hopefully they will learn very quickly!

-This makes me laugh maniacly, like a cartoon supervillan.

-This saves trees. Once enough of us do this, the junk mail companies will stop sending us junk. Or at least they will be more discriminate about it. It will save trees and keep the landfills empty! Yay!

-If we do this enough, the USPS will make so much money, that they will lower postage costs.

:D

but yeah, i seriously doubt the last part

C&CDean
4/24/2008, 05:59 PM
Let's see......

1. Not a penny of "tax payers money" supports the USPS. All revenue is self-generated.

2. The USPS doesn't "keep cutting staff because of lack of business." We've got more employees now than when I got hired back in the 70's.

3. The price of stamps won't ever drop.

This guy is a dumbass. However, I do encourage each and every one of you to fill out every single business reply envelope you can and mail it in. They will have to pay postage on that, and that makes Dean happy.

StoopTroup
4/24/2008, 06:03 PM
Postal Workers are cool.

http://bostonist.com/attachments/boston_caroline/cliff_claven.jpg

C&CDean
4/24/2008, 06:08 PM
Cliff!!111!!

olevetonahill
4/24/2008, 06:36 PM
But If we tape em to Boxes of rocks and **** will they have to Pay more ?

C&CDean
4/24/2008, 06:48 PM
But If we tape em to Boxes of rocks and **** will they have to Pay more ?

Hells if I know. I do know that they have to pay more than standard postage for those business reply returns though. If you've got somebody you don't like, order all kinds of **** with their name and address on it. That way we get revenue from the business reply, and we get revenue when they start shipping magazines and crap to the neighbor you're jacking up. It's a win-win my brother.

tommieharris91
4/24/2008, 06:50 PM
This guy is a dumbass. However, I do encourage each and every one of you to fill out every single business reply envelope you can and mail it in. They will have to pay postage on that, and that makes Dean happy.

Can I do this for fake addys?

C&CDean
4/24/2008, 07:01 PM
Can I do this for fake addys?

Hells if I know. However, if it's mailed back to them, they gotta pay.

yermom
4/24/2008, 07:04 PM
i mostly wanted to know if it actually worked for bricks and stuff

i'm totally down with sticking it to places that send me junk mail... if i could only get the stupid car lots in Norman to stop...

C&CDean
4/24/2008, 07:09 PM
When you get your junk mail, just think about Dean and how his babies gotta have their formula and diapers and ****. Think of it as Dean welfare.

yermom
4/24/2008, 07:25 PM
i'll tell them Dean told me to :D

OKC-SLC
4/24/2008, 09:24 PM
What is it you do for USPS, Dean? I thought you just kicked arse and bought tractors and **** like that.