MR2-Sooner86
4/21/2008, 08:33 AM
If ever there was one thing I have cherished and truly loved through out my entire life up until now, it would be my virginity. My virginity has always been a friend to me in a world full of back stabbers and evil people that will go out of their way to harm the weak. It was there when things got really bad. Never leaving my side. Especially when I felt like crap—when I was so depressed to a point where I would spend countless hours in the dark lair of my room and wanted to kill myself. He was there to keep me from falling into despair. A true buddy. I loved him.
Then that awful day came in 2005. It was on a June 5th morning. I woke up with a really bad hang over and couldn't really reach that cognitive state of self-awareness. I walked into the kitchen and got myself a cup of coffee. The moment I walked back into my room.....I noticed something gravely wrong. My virginity wasn't in the room. It was just......gone. A horrible sensation surfaced. I franticly searched everywhere in my room and in the house. I didn't even notice my nudity during all this. Hysterically your narrator ran outside like a naked mad man. Wildly I screamed out "Virginity!". None of the neighbors gave a damn. They just came outside to stare at me in my most vulnerable moment. Gilda the slightly bald old lady from across the street came out to check me out with a drooling grin planted on her wrinkled face. Her soggy eyes raped me in every imaginative vile manner. Anger then came over. I yelled at her "Go back inside and go **** yourself with that big phallus oxygen tank you forlorn crippled skank!" To the other neighbors I shrieked "Don't judge me you traditionalist hypocrites! Go back inside to your flower sun shine fish bowl of counterfeit bliss!" My mother came out with a blanket to cover my exposed body which by then was curled up in a fetal position on the front lawn grass.
Slowly I walked back into the room hindered by submission, tears flowing down my cheeks. Deep down I wanted to go inside the room to find a run-away-from-home letter from my Virginity. Alas, I found not a letter of such. Instead I found a pair of neon hot pink panties that emanated a nasty odor of pure uninhibited funkiness. Suddenly it hits me like Tom Sizemore beating the **** out of Heidi Fleiss. It was that feculent slut of a woman! Crissy Wimble!
Prime Suspect:
Crissy Wimble The Thieving Asian Whore (http://www.jessecollier.com/Friends/Pictures/2002/Marina%20Turns%2021/images/Smashed.jpg)
The girl that I was with the night before. She had been all over me and tried to coax me into letting her hold my virginity in her arms for a second. Repeatedly I said no. My intuition didn't trust her. Everyone knew she had misplaced her virginity way the hell back in junior high school. After I said no for the third time, she bought me a drink....after drink. And here I was being naive—thinking she was just being nice. Naturally I proceeded to the next logical step. I called the cops. I wrote my statement and they brought Crissy in for questioning. Naturally she claims she doesn't know the whereabouts of my companion. She tells the police a fib fable. Saying that I openly talked about wanting to get rid of the responsibility of caring for a Virgin entity. That I was drunk and demanded that she assist with the desertion of my Virginity. At that point I just lost it. I slammed my fists against the dark one-way tinted glass. Shouting obscenities at her. The cops were able to get a warrant. They searched her house and found nothing.
Two long grueling years went by and still no word came from the police. They sent out flyers with pictures of my virginity. They showed my virginity as it was last seen, and a computer sketch of what it might have looked like at the time the flyers were sent out. These flyers were posted on billboards and milk cartons with the "Have You Seen Me?" caption.
A picture of my virginity as it looked before it was kidnapped:
Virginity Photo #1 (http://www.baby-halloween-costume.com/kid%20costume/kid-costume-cape-lg.gif)
The computer made picture of what my virginity might have looked like in 2007:
My Virginity at age 19 (http://www.mattmarsh.net/mefriend/images/ugly.jpg)
Useless. Everything was to no avail. Those thousand sheets of paper used to print the photos had been cut from their tree sources in vain. Utter hopelessness. One day I was cleaning out my room....and came upon a macaroni made carcanet my Virginity use to wear when it went outside to play. My knees became weak. I fell to the ground and started weeping. While I sobbed for my dear friend....I imagined it jumping up and down on my bed. Laughing and giggling. Suddenly I stopped bawling and smiled. When I was called in for question by the police, I felt a little suspicious. The cops started asking me questions that really hurt me. They implied that I might have lost my own Virginity intentionally. The nerve of them! To even suggest that I might be guilty of dereliction! ****ing pigs! They didn't care about my Virginity. Their insouciance for my beloved filled me with rage. Finally they came to the conclusion that it couldn't have been me because they found out I was also mormon. I don't know why me being mormon brought them to that conclusion. But I didn't question it.
Well....that was a long time ago. Today I'm sad to say that my worst fear has been confirmed. I just received the phone call this morning that.....well.....that my virginity was found dead in a ally behind the local Pick N' Save. He died from an overdose of Methamphetamine. Words cannot describe what I feel right now. When I lost my virginity in 2005.....I lost a part of me. A big part of me. A part of my soul! Now, to know that it left willingly and became a junkie....well. I just don't know what to say. Those of you who still have your virginity: hold on to it as long as you can. Because you just don't know what you have until it's gone.
As of right now....I'm dead inside. I hope there is a heaven up there. So that some day we will be reunited again. I'll pray that God forgives my virginity for its sins. I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day now. I just wanted to tell you all the horrible news.
Then that awful day came in 2005. It was on a June 5th morning. I woke up with a really bad hang over and couldn't really reach that cognitive state of self-awareness. I walked into the kitchen and got myself a cup of coffee. The moment I walked back into my room.....I noticed something gravely wrong. My virginity wasn't in the room. It was just......gone. A horrible sensation surfaced. I franticly searched everywhere in my room and in the house. I didn't even notice my nudity during all this. Hysterically your narrator ran outside like a naked mad man. Wildly I screamed out "Virginity!". None of the neighbors gave a damn. They just came outside to stare at me in my most vulnerable moment. Gilda the slightly bald old lady from across the street came out to check me out with a drooling grin planted on her wrinkled face. Her soggy eyes raped me in every imaginative vile manner. Anger then came over. I yelled at her "Go back inside and go **** yourself with that big phallus oxygen tank you forlorn crippled skank!" To the other neighbors I shrieked "Don't judge me you traditionalist hypocrites! Go back inside to your flower sun shine fish bowl of counterfeit bliss!" My mother came out with a blanket to cover my exposed body which by then was curled up in a fetal position on the front lawn grass.
Slowly I walked back into the room hindered by submission, tears flowing down my cheeks. Deep down I wanted to go inside the room to find a run-away-from-home letter from my Virginity. Alas, I found not a letter of such. Instead I found a pair of neon hot pink panties that emanated a nasty odor of pure uninhibited funkiness. Suddenly it hits me like Tom Sizemore beating the **** out of Heidi Fleiss. It was that feculent slut of a woman! Crissy Wimble!
Prime Suspect:
Crissy Wimble The Thieving Asian Whore (http://www.jessecollier.com/Friends/Pictures/2002/Marina%20Turns%2021/images/Smashed.jpg)
The girl that I was with the night before. She had been all over me and tried to coax me into letting her hold my virginity in her arms for a second. Repeatedly I said no. My intuition didn't trust her. Everyone knew she had misplaced her virginity way the hell back in junior high school. After I said no for the third time, she bought me a drink....after drink. And here I was being naive—thinking she was just being nice. Naturally I proceeded to the next logical step. I called the cops. I wrote my statement and they brought Crissy in for questioning. Naturally she claims she doesn't know the whereabouts of my companion. She tells the police a fib fable. Saying that I openly talked about wanting to get rid of the responsibility of caring for a Virgin entity. That I was drunk and demanded that she assist with the desertion of my Virginity. At that point I just lost it. I slammed my fists against the dark one-way tinted glass. Shouting obscenities at her. The cops were able to get a warrant. They searched her house and found nothing.
Two long grueling years went by and still no word came from the police. They sent out flyers with pictures of my virginity. They showed my virginity as it was last seen, and a computer sketch of what it might have looked like at the time the flyers were sent out. These flyers were posted on billboards and milk cartons with the "Have You Seen Me?" caption.
A picture of my virginity as it looked before it was kidnapped:
Virginity Photo #1 (http://www.baby-halloween-costume.com/kid%20costume/kid-costume-cape-lg.gif)
The computer made picture of what my virginity might have looked like in 2007:
My Virginity at age 19 (http://www.mattmarsh.net/mefriend/images/ugly.jpg)
Useless. Everything was to no avail. Those thousand sheets of paper used to print the photos had been cut from their tree sources in vain. Utter hopelessness. One day I was cleaning out my room....and came upon a macaroni made carcanet my Virginity use to wear when it went outside to play. My knees became weak. I fell to the ground and started weeping. While I sobbed for my dear friend....I imagined it jumping up and down on my bed. Laughing and giggling. Suddenly I stopped bawling and smiled. When I was called in for question by the police, I felt a little suspicious. The cops started asking me questions that really hurt me. They implied that I might have lost my own Virginity intentionally. The nerve of them! To even suggest that I might be guilty of dereliction! ****ing pigs! They didn't care about my Virginity. Their insouciance for my beloved filled me with rage. Finally they came to the conclusion that it couldn't have been me because they found out I was also mormon. I don't know why me being mormon brought them to that conclusion. But I didn't question it.
Well....that was a long time ago. Today I'm sad to say that my worst fear has been confirmed. I just received the phone call this morning that.....well.....that my virginity was found dead in a ally behind the local Pick N' Save. He died from an overdose of Methamphetamine. Words cannot describe what I feel right now. When I lost my virginity in 2005.....I lost a part of me. A big part of me. A part of my soul! Now, to know that it left willingly and became a junkie....well. I just don't know what to say. Those of you who still have your virginity: hold on to it as long as you can. Because you just don't know what you have until it's gone.
As of right now....I'm dead inside. I hope there is a heaven up there. So that some day we will be reunited again. I'll pray that God forgives my virginity for its sins. I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day now. I just wanted to tell you all the horrible news.