The Great Food Network Debate [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 06:13 AM

Here is something I have struggled with for quite a while,

Would you

A.) Like to have Paula Dean as your mom
B.) Be Married to Rachel Ray
C.) Be married to Cat Cora
D.) Be married to Giada

Me personally I'm taking the Rachel Ray route, I think she's just the all American woman and isn't all nouveau riech, but having Paula Dean as your mom would have it's perks too, that woman throws more butter into every meal than I've ever seen, discuss.

NormanPride

4/10/2008, 06:20 AM

I wouldn't want a wife that could show me up in the kitchen too badly, so I'd have to go with Paula as a mom. Though Ina Garten would be pretty nice as well.

jkm, the stolen pifwafwi

4/10/2008, 06:26 AM

the kids get a kick out of when i put giada on slo-mo on the tivo. that chick has more facial contortions than anyone else i've ever seen. she can go from looking like the elephant man to satan.

soonerinabilene

4/10/2008, 06:26 AM

Apparently having Paula as your mom makes you act a little, uh, fruity, cuz both of her sons are a little on the feminine side. Giada overpronounces any Italian word, so that would get old. She talks like an American until she gets to a word like Mozzerella and then all of sudden she is straight from Italy. I would say its a toss up between Rachel and Cat, with a slight edge to Cat because she isnt really loud.

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 06:31 AM

I wouldn't want a wife that could show me up in the kitchen too badly, so I'd have to go with Paula as a mom. Though Ina Garten would be pretty nice as well.

I dunno man, I love the whole Susie Homemaker thing when girls do it. Have you seen Rachel Ray's spread in Maxim?

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 06:32 AM

Mjcpr

4/10/2008, 06:39 AM

I wouldn't want a wife that could show me up in the kitchen too badly, so I'd have to go with Paula as a mom. Though Ina Garten would be pretty nice as well.

So, Badger sucks at cooking, got it.

;)

NormanPride

4/10/2008, 06:42 AM

Yeah, pretty much. Who forgets the tuna in Tuna Helper? :confused:

I am so sleeping on the couch.

sooner_born_1960

4/10/2008, 06:44 AM

I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 06:47 AM

I guess a lot of this debate goes down to do you want A.) A gourmet meal, B.) Tailgate food and beer, C.) Country cookin', D.) A HBIC in the kitchen

Jimminy Crimson

4/10/2008, 06:48 AM

D & A

sooner_born_1960

4/10/2008, 06:58 AM

D & A
I vote for T & A.

TUSooner

4/10/2008, 06:59 AM

Paula Dean as my mom? HELL NO. I'd commit matricide. Sorry, all you Paula worshippers out there; you're entitled to your opinions. But Ms. Deen's comic-opera hokey cornpone hyper-southern gosh darn shut my mouth way of talking makes Gomer Pyle sound like an Oxford grad. NO WAY could I spend more than 5 minutes with that obnoxious woman, unless she had her mouth taped shut.

Married to Rachel Ray? NO. She just does nothing for me in any way, in or out of my pants. WAY too bubbly & goofy. I don't hate her, but wouldn't want to spend my life with her either. She rates a great big "meh."

Married to Giada? Worth considering. Hotter looking than Rachel or Cat, but still a bit too "bubbly" for a marriage that involved more than sex and food. (WAIT. What AM I saying!?!) Well, seriously, if that's all marriage was, she'd be a no-brainer. But it ain't.

Married to Cat Cora? [EDIT - SHE's GAY. fuhgeddaboudit I'll take the sex and food with Giada, please.]

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:03 AM

http://erincooks.com/images/links/giadapink.jpg

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:04 AM

http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/secondhelpings/uploaded_images/pauladeen-737314.jpg

BlondeSoonerGirl

4/10/2008, 07:18 AM

Heh.

She throws down on Iron Chef America.

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:21 AM

http://www.buttermilkpress.com/rachel-ray-time-3.jpg

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:21 AM

http://www.ciachef.edu/ActiveCampus/images/spotlight/569_A.jpg

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:23 AM

I guess the other two were too racy, this fits better, girls still look great but no cleavage.

SoonerAtKU

4/10/2008, 07:32 AM

Rachael ray? This is on the table? What is wrong with people? Did you see the size of her hands? There's a legend in Maine, about Rachael coming to town and picking every blueberry in the state at once. They call it the Ray-ping and it happens every 20 years, to sate her hunger.

She's a monster.

dw17

4/10/2008, 07:36 AM

Cat always looks mad.

KC//CRIMSON

4/10/2008, 07:50 AM

I'd have to go with Cat, cause after she's done doing me, I could tell her to go make me a sammich.

And it would be the most awesome sammich ever!

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 07:59 AM

I'd have to go with Cat, cause after she's done doing me, I could tell her to go make me a sammich.

And it would be the most awesome sammich ever!

except she'd pimp slap you for blatant disrespect :D

Jerk

4/10/2008, 07:59 AM

KC//CRIMSON

4/10/2008, 08:01 AM

except she'd pimp slap you for blatant disrespect :D

Well that, and the fact she's gay.:(

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 08:08 AM

Well that, and the fact she's gay.:(

Is she really? How disappointing, the other claim takes another prisoner.

Curly Bill

4/10/2008, 08:13 AM

Dang this is easy: Giada in a heartbeat!

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 08:18 AM

I think Giada is too smug, I like Rachel Ray and Cat Cora ftw!

Mjcpr

4/10/2008, 08:21 AM

http://www.buttermilkpress.com/rachel-ray-time-3.jpg

What is that shiny thing? I thought you were supposed to cover up the nips with a band aid or something, not a giant, shiny pepperoni.

ADs_Agent

4/10/2008, 08:58 AM

Rachel Ray makes gourmet nachos, sway anyone?

SeattleOUstudent

4/10/2008, 09:46 AM

Giada Giada Giada.

She has been a hottie since day 1. Now, I think she just dropped a fetus a couple weeks ago, so things might start to change.

TUSooner

4/10/2008, 01:06 PM

http://www.ciachef.edu/ActiveCampus/images/spotlight/569_A.jpg

I like her tomatoes.

bellefay1

4/10/2008, 01:46 PM

http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/2894/giadadelaurentiisbehindco7.jpg

OKC-SLC

4/10/2008, 03:18 PM

heh.

GottaHavePride

4/10/2008, 03:31 PM

After some google searching...

Cat Cora. Easy.

Tulsa_Fireman

4/10/2008, 03:41 PM

Hell, I'd bang Paula Dean if she'd make me a sammich.

...surprised it ain't gone there yet.

GottaHavePride

4/10/2008, 03:57 PM

HEh. I got a book full of dessert recipes by Paula Deen.

It might be worth it.

KC//CRIMSON

4/10/2008, 04:26 PM

After some google searching...

Cat Cora. Easy.

She doesn't like pork.

Mixer!

4/10/2008, 04:44 PM

Have you seen Rachel Ray's spread in Maxim?
:les: THIS IS A FAMILY BOARD, MISTER!

Jerk

4/11/2008, 12:05 AM

I like nigella

http://www.bulski.com/magdainlondon/pl/uploads/Nigella.jpg

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*ILF!

SoonerTerry

4/11/2008, 01:51 AM

MMMm, i'd like to make her clam chowder

4/11/2008, 03:00 AM

*ahem* what about

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/DixieChickMissy/nakedchef.jpg

The Naked Chef? ;)

TUSooner

4/11/2008, 03:20 AM

I like nigella

http://www.bulski.com/magdainlondon/pl/uploads/Nigella.jpg

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*ILF!

Well, yeah. She's also Homey's favorite hottie chef. Nothing like the full-figured type, what?
But she wasn't on the list, and I haven't even seen her on the tube neither. wassup widdat?

ADs_Agent

4/11/2008, 04:02 AM

Upon further review, Cat Cora indeed has a life partner and a kid, so unless you think you can make her bat switch handed we may have to disregard her.

TMcGee86

4/11/2008, 04:08 AM

man Rachel Ray does nothing for me. Absotutely nothing.

Her voice is nails on a chalkboard.

And her looks are average at best.

TUSooner

4/11/2008, 04:09 AM

Upon further review, Cat Cora indeed has a life partner and a kid, so unless you think you can make her bat switch handed we may have to disregard her.

****, ****, ****, ****, and ****
:mad: :(

Forget it, Cat. Let's just say we have TOO MUCH in common.

Sex and food with Giada's not a bad consolation prize, though. :)

Tulsa_Fireman

4/11/2008, 04:29 AM

Forget it, Cat. Let's just say we have TOO MUCH in common.

That you both like vaginas?

soonermix

4/11/2008, 04:44 AM

lets just have a sandwich making contest and i will take the winner.

ADs_Agent

4/11/2008, 04:49 AM

Upon returning to the DVR last night, Paula Deen made bananas foster french toast with a hashbrown and cheese breakfast casserole, we have a new front runner for my pick.

Jerk

4/11/2008, 04:46 PM

Well, yeah. She's also Homey's favorite hottie chef. Nothing like the full-figured type, what?
But she wasn't on the list, and I haven't even seen her on the tube neither. wassup widdat?

She's on every Sunday morning...kind of like a religious service.

silverwheels

4/11/2008, 04:59 PM

Sandra Lee is packing some serious sweater meat, but her voice is as annoying as Rachel Ray's and her cooking ability is even lower than Rachel's.

Giada wins since Cat is a lesbian, and Giada recently entered the **** category.

ADs_Agent

4/14/2008, 10:17 AM

I guess no one wants to eat fried chicken for the rest of there life and have Paula Deen as a mom?

bluedogok

4/14/2008, 10:52 PM

Sandra Lee is packing some serious sweater meat, but her voice is as annoying as Rachel Ray's and her cooking ability is even lower than Rachel's.
According to my wife Sandra Lee has recently re-entered the single life.......

GottaHavePride

4/14/2008, 11:11 PM

So your wife has the hots for Sandra Lee?

You should steer her Cat Cora's direction instead.

Ash

4/14/2008, 11:35 PM

Cat Cora, Sandra Lee, Ingrid Hoffman, Giada...at the same time.

silverwheels

4/15/2008, 01:49 AM

So your wife has the hots for Sandra Lee?

You should steer her Cat Cora's direction instead.

And take pictures, either way. :D

LoyalFan

4/15/2008, 09:05 AM

I like nigella

http://www.bulski.com/magdainlondon/pl/uploads/Nigella.jpg

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*ILF!

OMG! YES!!!! Nigella (sounds like a waterborne d'zeeze...Wait! That's FLA-gella.), even if she is 50-ish.
But..I am enthralled, captivated, titillated, and/or fascinated by one Ellie Krieger; see below.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/ellie_krieger/0,3179,FOOD_30877,00.html
also:
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2008/images/personalities/header/elliekrieger.jpg

Just watch one, just one, episode. The voice; the ongoing seduction with eyes and expressions; the comfy but sensuous physical upholstery.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Make mine Ellie!
I'd kill to see her eat a popsicle, or maybe a nanner.
I'd kill twice to BE a popsicle, a-lurk in her freezer and up next on a steamy Summer day!

LoyalFan
Lovin' Miss Ellie

NormanPride

4/15/2008, 09:32 AM

Ellie's a minx, that's for sure. Watching her eat food is almost too much.

SeattleOUstudent

4/15/2008, 04:21 PM

OMG! YES!!!! Nigella (sounds like a waterborne d'zeeze...Wait! That's FLA-gella.), even if she is 50-ish.
But..I am enthralled, captivated, titillated, and/or fascinated by one Ellie Krieger; see below.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/ellie_krieger/0,3179,FOOD_30877,00.html
also:
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2008/images/personalities/header/elliekrieger.jpg

Just watch one, just one, episode. The voice; the ongoing seduction with eyes and expressions; the comfy but sensuous physical upholstery.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Make mine Ellie!
I'd kill to see her eat a popsicle, or maybe a nanner.
I'd kill twice to BE a popsicle, a-lurk in her freezer and up next on a steamy Summer day!

LoyalFan
Lovin' Miss Ellie

Dude, if she aint playin' for the other team, I dont know who is. :pop:

def_lazer_fc

4/15/2008, 08:24 PM

i dont even know if this show is on the food network or travel channel, but what about those two fat ****s that cook "dude food" or something. any takers?

4/15/2008, 08:34 PM

I'd rather have Paula as an aunt I only visited on Thanksgiving and Christmas. That way, I could eat salad the rest of the year to make up for it.

LoyalFan

4/19/2008, 03:47 PM

Dude, if she aint playin' for the other team, I dont know who is. :pop:

I'm not buyin' it, boyo! Never have I seen a lesbian with drawn-on optical orb brows ('cept for Hillary.) IF she were to notify me in person, by Email, smoke signal, or carrier pigeon (bearing photos proving the your churlish allegation,) that she IS, indeed, a worshiper of Sappho, I'd be rushing to one of those clinics in Thailand to undergo wot-tever required to become more attractive to her.
Or maybe not.
OK, prolly not.
OK, sure as Hotel Echo Lima Lima not.
I'd just have to demonstrate to her what she's been missing to this point.
I wants me some ELLIEEEEEEE!

El Eff

Cam

4/19/2008, 07:55 PM

Giada, and it's not even a close race. She's also got a very hot sister.

Ash

4/19/2008, 08:08 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92iLXC93mE8

proud gonzo

4/20/2008, 05:27 PM

I'd like to have Alton Brown as a crazy uncle or something

AllAboutThe'O'

4/20/2008, 11:02 PM

I'd like to have Alton Brown as a crazy uncle or something
Guy Fieri would be a more appropriate crazy uncle.

bluedogok

4/20/2008, 11:22 PM

Alton is the eccentric uncle......

proud gonzo

4/20/2008, 11:26 PM

Guy Fieri would be a more appropriate crazy uncle.meh. that guy kinda annoys me.

I wouldn't mind keeping Gordon Ramsay around for entertainment, either. :D

GottaHavePride

4/20/2008, 11:47 PM

I would drink beer with Gordon Ramsay.

Turd_Ferguson

5/2/2008, 11:34 PM

I would drink beer with Gordon Ramsay.I'm get'n addicted to his shows. I laughed myself to sleep this a.m. just watching him rip peoples arse.:D

silverwheels

5/2/2008, 11:48 PM

Alton Brown is my idol. "Good Eats" is the best show ever.

And yes, Gordon Ramsay is awesome. So is Anthony Bourdain, the guy who goes around the world eating weird ****. His blog about how crappy the Food Network has gotten is 100% correct.

SoonerInKCMO

5/3/2008, 12:57 PM

She might not be on the Food Network, but I've been digging PBS re-runs of Swedish chef (bork,bork,bork) Tina Nordstrom (http://luxuryexperience.com/gastronomy/gastronomy_articles/swedish_chef_tina_nordstrom.html) :hot:

She should get bonus points from you hillbillies for one show where she gutted and filleted some fish she caught in about 30 seconds. :D

Ash

5/3/2008, 01:52 PM