SoonerKnight
3/20/2008, 01:32 AM
OK, here's the last conference to get some serious consideration for toughest coaches to get a hold of by phone; the Big 12. Their teams really hate each other. Time for some Big 12 smack voice mail hell from the coaches' machines.
"Hi, you've reached Gary Pinkel. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- fire department (finally dousing the flames off that hot seat he's been sitting in for 3 years), press 1.
- Chase Daniel's dorm room (sticking needles in Sam Bradford voodoo doll), press 2.
- on PC (hacking into BCS formulation system), press 3.
Hi, you've reached Bob Stoops. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- home in garage (throwing darts at Dan Hawkins' picture), press 1.
- Barnes and Noble's CD room (listening to Britney Spears' "Oops I did it again" over, and over, and over and over again), press 2.
- the vet's office (having pranksters' "L" branding removed from Boomer and Sooner's flanks), press 3.
- a Tuscon, Arizona bar (asking lil' bro Mikey if he's homesick yet), press 4.
- office on phone (asking Congress to investigate officiating crews' anti-Sooner bias), press 5.
Hi, you've reached Mack Brown. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Johnson Space Center (bribing techies to aim spy satellite over Norman, Oklahoma), press 1.
- Promises Rehab in Malibu (inquiring about frequent team-visit discounts), press 2.
- Austin City Jail (visiting players, and doing a little side recruiting), press 3.
- Boomer and Sooner's stalls (spiking their oats with Ex-Lax), press 4.
- State Legislature (promoting new logo: "Texas, where bigger isn't necessarily better"), press 5.
Hi you've reached Mark Mangino. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Hometown Buffet (having a quick "snack" with Charlie Weis), press 1.
- hair stylist (getting hair extensions for a brand new look), press 2.
- Starbucks (crushing Prozac and Valium in his espresso), press 3.
- practice field (increasing team's conditioning and stamina by having players do circular shuttles around him), press 4.
"Hi, you've reached Bo Pelini. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- AD's office (removing Mickey Mouse doodles on last year's play book pages), press 1.
- incinerator (burning Callahan's "The Raider's Guide to Building a Great Football Team" manual, press 2.
- Lincoln Town Hall (promoting "other" great Huskers sports this year such as gymnastics, just in case things don't work out this season), press 3.
- field's scoreboard (programming it to blow up if more than 70 points are scored), press 4.
-laundromat (washing the stench out of last year's Black Shirts), press 5.
Hi, you've reached Mike Gundy. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Dali Llama's tent in Tibet (learning new relaxation techniques), press 1.
- ADs office (making a case for "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40!!" as the Cowboys official new fight song, press 2.
- office PC (starting chain letter entitled "Ann Coulter writes for the Oklahoman"), press 3.
- photographer's studio (posing for cover of "Psychology Today" magazine), press 4.
- incinerator (burning June Jones' memoir, "How to win the game without D"), press 5.
http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Lisa%20H/2008/03/16/Big_12_Voice_Mail_hell
"Hi, you've reached Gary Pinkel. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- fire department (finally dousing the flames off that hot seat he's been sitting in for 3 years), press 1.
- Chase Daniel's dorm room (sticking needles in Sam Bradford voodoo doll), press 2.
- on PC (hacking into BCS formulation system), press 3.
Hi, you've reached Bob Stoops. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- home in garage (throwing darts at Dan Hawkins' picture), press 1.
- Barnes and Noble's CD room (listening to Britney Spears' "Oops I did it again" over, and over, and over and over again), press 2.
- the vet's office (having pranksters' "L" branding removed from Boomer and Sooner's flanks), press 3.
- a Tuscon, Arizona bar (asking lil' bro Mikey if he's homesick yet), press 4.
- office on phone (asking Congress to investigate officiating crews' anti-Sooner bias), press 5.
Hi, you've reached Mack Brown. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Johnson Space Center (bribing techies to aim spy satellite over Norman, Oklahoma), press 1.
- Promises Rehab in Malibu (inquiring about frequent team-visit discounts), press 2.
- Austin City Jail (visiting players, and doing a little side recruiting), press 3.
- Boomer and Sooner's stalls (spiking their oats with Ex-Lax), press 4.
- State Legislature (promoting new logo: "Texas, where bigger isn't necessarily better"), press 5.
Hi you've reached Mark Mangino. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Hometown Buffet (having a quick "snack" with Charlie Weis), press 1.
- hair stylist (getting hair extensions for a brand new look), press 2.
- Starbucks (crushing Prozac and Valium in his espresso), press 3.
- practice field (increasing team's conditioning and stamina by having players do circular shuttles around him), press 4.
"Hi, you've reached Bo Pelini. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- AD's office (removing Mickey Mouse doodles on last year's play book pages), press 1.
- incinerator (burning Callahan's "The Raider's Guide to Building a Great Football Team" manual, press 2.
- Lincoln Town Hall (promoting "other" great Huskers sports this year such as gymnastics, just in case things don't work out this season), press 3.
- field's scoreboard (programming it to blow up if more than 70 points are scored), press 4.
-laundromat (washing the stench out of last year's Black Shirts), press 5.
Hi, you've reached Mike Gundy. Please leave a message."
To reach Coach at:
- Dali Llama's tent in Tibet (learning new relaxation techniques), press 1.
- ADs office (making a case for "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40!!" as the Cowboys official new fight song, press 2.
- office PC (starting chain letter entitled "Ann Coulter writes for the Oklahoman"), press 3.
- photographer's studio (posing for cover of "Psychology Today" magazine), press 4.
- incinerator (burning June Jones' memoir, "How to win the game without D"), press 5.
http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Lisa%20H/2008/03/16/Big_12_Voice_Mail_hell