Movie review: "The Other Boleyn Girl"

[Okla-homey]

http://aycu13.webshots.com/image/47492/2001287044907165061_rs.jpg (http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2001287044907165061)

Mrs Homey and I saw it yesterday afternoon. I give it three "Huzzahs"

Mrs. Homey had read the book of the same name. I had not, thinking it was basically one of those bodice-ripping historical romance"chick" books.

If you're sketchy on your English history, here's the dealio. The story is set during the period when King Henry VIII was in the prime of his life and before he got sloppy fat and gross. He desperately wanted a son. His first wife and queen (Catherine) a Spanish Catholic, couldn't get it done.

Therefore, some in the royal court decided to trot out a willing PYT in order to keep the royal willie occupied...and in so doing, secure great wealth, position and privilege for the family of that girl.

Sir Robert Boleyn had two comely daughters. Ann (Natalie Portman) of course, and her plainer sis Mary (Scarlett Johansson). Sir Robert was a minor noble who desperately wanted to curry that royal favor. Especially because he was heavily in debt and was about to default on his sub-prime mortgage. Therefore, he offered his daughter(s) as a remedy for the royal randiness. Incidentally, he didn't let the fact Mary was already married bother him. It certainly didn't bother Henry either.

It sort of worked. For a while. Then it all went horribly wrong. Check it out. Good story, great costumes, well photographed.

Oh, and in case you have difficulty recalling the fate of each of Henry's six wives, here's a little couplet learned by generations of English school children:

Divorced-Beheaded-Died,
Divorced-Beheaded-Survived.

Oh, and FWIW, Ann and Henry's red-headed daughter Elizabeth reined for forty years and was one of the most important and powerful British monarchs evar.

[Scott D]

Elizabeth had probably the most brutal reign....at least according to the Irish.

[soonerbrat]

i might have a hard time believing the Hulk as a king.

[TUSooner]

I have a hard time believing Scarlett Johansson is "plainer" than much of anything.

[King Crimson]

i watched the Showtime series the Tudors which traffics the same historical ground (the young Henry, Cardinal Woollsey etc)....though not always accurately, apparently. it was well done, looked great....but something was kind of missing.

[Flagstaffsooner]

Gotta love ole Henry for telling the pope to f*** off.

[Scott D]

I have a hard time believing Scarlett Johansson is "plainer" than much of anything.

my friend 'plainer' doesn't have to equal 'not hot' :)

[OCUDad]

"Plainer than Natalie Portman" pretty much describes most of the world.

[Frozen Sooner]

Um, did I hear the rumor that Portman and Johannsen make out in this film correctly?

[OCUDad]

Um, did I hear the rumor that Portman and Johannsen make out in this film correctly?Are you asking if they made out correctly? Or if you heard the rumor correctly? Because, you know, there's a difference.

[Frozen Sooner]

Well, I guess I doubt that they made out in a way that I would consider "correct" (which would involve some stuff that would bump the rating of the movie WAY up) so the second option.

[SicEmBaylor]

Elizabeth had probably the most brutal reign....at least according to the Irish.
The Irish needed to be put in their place.

At least the Welsh and later Scottish finally got a clue.

[Okla-homey]

Um, did I hear the rumor that Portman and Johannsen make out in this film correctly?

no. No hawt Portman on Johansson action. sorry. That will have to wait for the porn redux: "The Boleyn Girls Gone Wild."

[royalfan5]

The South needed to be put in their place.


I agree.

[Scott D]

The Irish needed to be put in their place.

At least the Welsh and later Scottish finally got a clue.

:rolleyes:

Selling out your countrymen for trinkets and baubles isn't having a clue.

[PrideTrombone]

:rolleyes:

Selling out your countrymen for trinkets and baubles isn't having a clue.

ooooooooooooo, baubles!!! Shiny!!!!

[Frozen Sooner]

no. No hawt Portman on Johansson action. sorry. That will have to wait for the porn redux: "The Boleyn Girls Gone Wild."

That makes me a sad panda.

And not in a good sad panda way. A bad sad panda way.

Guess I'll just have to go see There Will Be Blood instead.

[royalfan5]

That makes me a sad panda.

And not in a good sad panda way. A bad sad panda way.

Guess I'll just have to go see There Will Be Blood instead.
Supposedly Scarlett is having a three way scene with Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem in the upcoming Woody Allen flick Vicki Cristina Barcelona. With actual nudity.

[Frozen Sooner]

Johanssen, Cruz, Bardem.

Win win FAIL!

[Okla-homey]

On that whole English-Welsh-Scots-Irish dealio, IMHO, Henry's act of separating the English Church from the Church of Rome in 1534 led to the pacification of Scotland. For thirty years, the French and Spanish sent beaucoup francs and pesos to Scotland to help finance Scottish anti-English shenanigans.

After the great Scots Protestant John Knox talked most of his people into becoming Presbyterians in the 1560's, the Scots could no longer look to France and Spain for support and subsequent Scottish rebellions fizzled because they couldn't be financed.

Ireland OTOH, remained Catholic and could still arrange rebellion financing.

[royalfan5]

Johanssen, Cruz, Bardem.

Win win FAIL!
Did I mention they will all have the Chigur haircut during the scene? Also, there might be a girl/girl scene. I'm checking my sources as I post.

[royalfan5]

http://defamer.com/354009/

[Scott D]

On that whole English-Welsh-Scots-Irish dealio, IMHO, Henry's act of separating the English Church from the Church of Rome in 1534 led to the pacification of Scotland. For thirty years, the French and Spanish sent beaucoup francs and pesos to Scotland to help finance Scottish anti-English shenanigans.

After the great Scots Protestant John Knox talked most of his people into becoming Presbyterians in the 1560's, the Scots could no longer look to France and Spain for support and subsequent Scottish rebellions fizzled because they couldn't be financed.

Ireland OTOH, remained Catholic and could still arrange rebellion financing.

Which was hindered by the English tactic of awarding Titles and property that they didn't own in return for curried favor. Basically they exploited the clan mentality to it's fullest and fractured Ireland forever.

[Scott D]

Johanssen, Cruz, Bardem.

Win win FAIL!

I was thinking Win, Fail, Barf....but that's just me. :)

[Frozen Sooner]

I was thinking Win, Fail, Barf....but that's just me. :)

I assure you, the Tom Cruise funk washes off.

[sooneron]

Anyone see There Will Be Blondes yet? I saw it on the cable guide last night.

[47straight]

Gotta love ole Henry for telling the pope to f*** off.


And the closing of monasteries and cutting off the heads of the friars!!! **** YEAH! LET'S HANG US SOME PAPISTS!!!! THEN WE'LL REWRITE HISTORY AND BLAME EM FOR EVERYTHING!

[Chuck Bao]

Kudos to the thread starter and all the posters.

This thread rocks and we (that's not a royal we, just me and my willy) will have to see this movie.

[GottaHavePride]

Off topic... or is this on topic?

I bet Natalie Portman's a freaky-freak.

Hooray.

[Chuck Bao]

Off topic... or is this on topic?

I bet Natalie Portman's a freaky-freak.

Hooray.

Historical freaky-freak.

That somehow makes the freaky-freak better, in my opinion.

Homey is probably a historical freaky-freak too, but I don't want to think about how he gets his freak on history stuff.

[Curly Bill]

Ireland OTOH, remained Catholic and could still arrange rebellion financing.

Did they go with the fixed rate or the adjustable rate on that...cause them adjustable rates can be hell. ;)