The Purina Diet

[soonerbrat]

I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog......Duh!!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO. I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 lbs. before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes bugged out of her head. I went on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two everytime you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was now enthrolled with my story, particularly the tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in
the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my *** when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried out.....


-----------------

just kidding, it wasn't me.

[frankensooner]

You had me going. ;)

[SoonerStormchaser]

Whew...I saw the thread title and thought Frank was finally going to live up to his new years resolution. :)

[OUDoc]

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my *** when a car hit me.


Go on...

[soonerbrat]

yah, i'm pretty bendy. i'm like a bendy bobcat pretzel.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Dang!, you had me there...

I was getting reeady to post something about our previous Wal-Marts/Target thread...

[frankensooner]

Whew...I saw the thread title and thought Frank was finally going to live up to his new years resolution. :)
Yeah, screw you buddy, with me it is Fancy Feast or nuthin! ;)

Edit, although a twisty bobcat pretzel sounds good. ;)

[soonerbrat]

sorry, that's a twisty bobcat pretzel..not a bendy one.

[NormanPride]

I should have known better. You don't seem like your typical Wal-Marts patron. ;)

[soonerbrat]

I should have known better. You don't seem like your typical Wal-Marts patron. ;)



yes, I wear shoes and leave the curlers at home

[1stTimeCaller]

I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog......Duh!!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO. I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 lbs. before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes bugged out of her head. I went on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two everytime you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was now enthrolled with my story, particularly the tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in
the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my *** when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried out.....


-----------------

just kidding, it wasn't me.
lol!! That's funny. I know a person that was really on a cat food diet. They lost 60 pounds in 3 months. I don't know if having tuna fish breath is worth it, lol.

[frankensooner]

When I was a kid, I don't know around 6 or 7, my sister dared me to eat some milk bone dog biscuits, other than being a little dry, they weren't half bad. lol.

In college I tried Meow Mix, but that was just peer pressure. (I didn't inhale) lol!

[royalfan5]

I ate a dog bone on the school bus in elementary school because I lost a bet.

[OUDoc]

I ate a dog bone on the school bus in elementary school because I lost a bet.
Which bone?

[royalfan5]

Which bone?
I don't recall the brand

[HskrGrl]

When I was in high school a bunch of us were at a friend's house. This girl that none of us really liked showed up. She asked my friend if he had any weed so he went upstairs and put some cat nip in a baggie and brought it downstairs and gave it to her. She proceeded to roll it up and smoke it. She was all acting like she was high and lol'ing about everything and we were all lol'ing at her dumb ***. :p

Moral of the story... weed makes you dumb. :D

[Chuck Bao]

I'm so sorry hearing about the car accident. Damn that sucks. I hope you were in a crossing zone and sued their ***. Those bastages. It's good that you're going back on your diet and leave all that bad stuff behind you.