What would you do?

[SOONER STEAKER]

Over Christmas we had a cousin and her new boyfriend over for dinner. She has been in trouble with the law for possession of stolen goods. Anyway, when they left there were some gift cards missing and her grandmother went out in the car and those cards were in the babies diaper bag which she said they must have fallen into the bag. Later that night we discovered some money missing from my nieces pocket book.

Tonight, the boyfriend came over and said he ran out of gas around the corner and he didn't have any money. I took him up to the 7-11 and the gas can could only hold $2 worth of gas. I left $8 at 7-11 so he could drive back up there and get a couple more gallons, didn't want him running out of gas on the way home as $2 won't get ya very far. When he put the gas in the car, the car started up immediately. I've always know my cars not to start immediately once you run out of gas.

I left my name and number with the 7-11 attendent and left explicit directions under no case should she give him cash.

I called the 7-11 and the attendant told me he wanted the cash and she told him that she would have to call me since I left my number and instructd her under no circumstances should she give him the cash. He ended up getting the gas.

My question is this: since the famly feels our cousin stole the money and almost got away with the gift cards and what the boyfriend did tonight, scamming me out of $10, how should we politely tell my cousin and boyfriend that they are no longer welcome at the house.

Thanks for your input in advance.

[sanantoniosooner]

Without knowing a complete history.........I would try a set of ground rules first.

If SHE, and any guest of hers, can't abide by some ground rules then they aren't welcome.

In truth, anyone that enters my house has a line they can't cross. The kind of person they are affects where that line is though.

If you have hard evidence they stole stuff..........that pretty much seals the deal IMO.

[Mongo]

Without knowing a complete history.........I would try a set of ground rules first.

If SHE, and any guest of hers, can't abide by some ground rules then they aren't welcome.

In truth, anyone that enters my house has a line they can't cross. The kind of person they are affects where that line is though.

can I come over to your house?

[sanantoniosooner]

can I come over to your house?
your arrival at my house is where the line is drawn.

[Mongo]

Steaker, I'd straight up confront them about the whole situation then let them know that they arent welcome. Plain and simple. you know what kind of people they are, and until you notice a change in character, dont let them in

[SOONER STEAKER]

MY brother and his family was here tonight along with my mother and sister. They are all pretty upset as we always try to help those in need. We must have a "SUCKER" sign plastered on our forheads tonight.

[SoonerBorn68]

She's family & he's a loser. You don't have to be nice about it. ;)

I've had some experience in dealing with a situation like this with my sister. I told her she was not welcome in my house & I didn't want to have any contact with her. You don't have to be rude, just plain & simple talk will work--don't discuss or argue about it.

[opksooner]

She's family & he's a loser. You don't have to be nice about it. ;)

I've had some experience in dealing with a situation like this with my sister. I told her she was not welcome in my house & I didn't want to have any contact with her. You don't have to be rude, just plain & simple talk will work--don't discuss or argue about it.

BINGO!

[Viking Kitten]

So we can also infer your cousin has a baby? Nice. Really nice.

Why on earth are you worried about being polite? You're worried about hurting the feelings of a woman, a mother (OF CHILDREN!!) who would steal from her own family after they welcomed her into their home? Why?

[SOONER STEAKER]

I don't want my aunt, who is my deceased fathers sister feeling guilty about coming over to the house. My aunt is great friends with my mother and my mom is deaply religious. My mom feels everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe mom will realize that my cousin is a losur and will accept the fact that my brothers and sisters don;t want my cousin at family functions, which are holiday get togethers.

[Viking Kitten]

I think you've already shown a great deal of restraint in not kicking the girl's a**. If asked, just say she's not welcome and let that be that.

[SoonerBorn68]

Your cousin has lost your family's trust through her deeds. Your aunt should realize nobody wants a thief in their house.

[SicEmBaylor]

I sort of know what you're going through. I had to kick two shady chicks out of my apartment once. They were going to steal me blind if I'd given them a chance.

Anyway, it's a pity it has to come to that with family. I'd have a hard time kicking a relative out.

[sanantoniosooner]

I did some work for a lady in Del City once that has bars on every window and door to keep her own son out. He would steal anything from her.

A real shame.

[GottaHavePride]

I sort of know what you're going through. I had to kick two shady chicks out of my apartment once. They were going to hump me crosseyed if I'd given them a chance.

Anyway, it's a pity it has to come to that with family. I'd have a hard time kicking a relative out.

Fixed. ;)

[proud gonzo]

I had two chicks in my apartment once. I call BS.

[sanantoniosooner]

I call BS.
It's the truth.

3 actually, if you count him.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Sooner Steaker: (Calling cousin's number)

Cousin: Hello

Sooner Steaker: Yeah, this is Sooner Steaker. You're not welcome in our home anymore.

Cousin: What?!!

Sooner Steaker: Click!

[SOONER STEAKER]

Sooner Steaker: (Calling cousin's number)

Cousin: Hello

Sooner Steaker: Yeah, this is Sooner Steaker. You're not welcome in our home anymore.

Cousin: What?!!

Sooner Steaker: Click!

LMAO :D

[FirstandGoal]

I went through this with my brother back in the day before he went to jail and got help for his drug addiction(s)

It killed me to do it, but I eventually had to ban him from my house, because I spent the time before he got there hiding anything of value and the whole time he was there looking over his shoulder to make sure he didn't steal anything that wasn't nailed down.

Bottom line: It is YOUR house, so YOU get to make the rules. If your aunt or your mother still haven't answered the clue phone and want to cut this cousin some slack-- fine.... let it be at THEIR houses.

Most of the time, when people exhibit this kind of behavior, drugs are the root of the problem. Plain and simple, they want mo money for mo drugs. These kinds of people cannot be reason with, and will not suddenly grow a set of morals overnight.

[MamaMia]

Maybe your family should all sit down together with your cousin and tell her that you love her but that until she dumps the boyfriend and gets some counseling, she is no longer welcome in anyones home.

[Vaevictis]

I don't want my aunt, who is my deceased fathers sister feeling guilty about coming over to the house. My aunt is great friends with my mother and my mom is deaply religious. My mom feels everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe mom will realize that my cousin is a losur and will accept the fact that my brothers and sisters don;t want my cousin at family functions, which are holiday get togethers.

Everyone does deserve a second chance. But you to be willing to earn it. What has she done to indicate she wants to earn it?

I wouldn't be polite about it.

"Sorry, we think you're a thief. We think your boyfriend is a thief. And if he's not a thief, I know for a fact he's a liar. Until that changes, you're not welcome here. When it does, and only when it does, you will be welcome again."

[Preservation Parcels]

Sadly, this kind of thievery often indicates drug-seeking behavior. Especially if there is a child involved, this may call for a stronger intervention. I'm sorry your family is facing these kind of decisions.

[Okla-homey]

Sadly, this kind of thievery often indicates drug-seeking behavior. Especially if there is a child involved, this may call for a stronger intervention. I'm sorry your family is facing these kind of decisions.

also first impression BTW. I'd check the medicine cabinets to see what prescription meds are missing.

[AlbqSooner]

I don't want my aunt, who is my deceased fathers sister feeling guilty about coming over to the house. My aunt is great friends with my mother and my mom is deaply religious. My mom feels everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe mom will realize that my cousin is a losur and will accept the fact that my brothers and sisters don;t want my cousin at family functions, which are holiday get togethers.
Tell your aunt that she is welcome any time. Tell your mom that the second chance came with the gas situation. If drug seeking is the root of this problem, the most loving thing you can do is take yourself out of the drug providing formula. Stop enabling her and eventually, God willing, she will get away from the drugs.

[OU4LIFE]

She's family & he's a loser. You don't have to be nice about it. ;)



Unfortunately, based on my past experiences, you actually have to NOT be nice about it. The sad truth of the pattern is they they will not respond to nice. But they will, and should be forced to, deal with authorities.

and it sucks to be in your position...but by NOT helping them realize the path they are on now by getting the authorities involved, you are only enabling them for future, LARGER problems down the road. IMO.

I hope you find an easier way through this.

[Sooner_Bob]

Sometimes confronting family is hard. I really wish you guys well and hope it gets better for everyone.

[1stTimeCaller]

I would make her run stadium steps all winter and fall and next year she has to sit out 3 family gatherings.

;)

[MextheBulldog]

Rough age of these folks? I know some folks are jumping to a 'drug user' conclusion, but it may just be a maturity issue. I think their age also dictates the type and style of message you might want to send.

[usmc-sooner]

is she dating DeMarcus Granger? Check the coat closet!!!!!!!!

[SOONER STEAKER]

I'm not around my cousin except at Holidays but I know there has been some drug issues in the past. Last night, I got out my baseball bats and placed one at the front door and one by the bed in case he plans another visit to the house.

As for banning them from the house, DONE!!

[StoopTroup]

Let one of the older folks in on what your about to do so you don't give them a heart attack.

Now...go to the real suspect and tell him you think the old folks are stealing from your family.

Duct tape a shotgun to the old folks neck and tell the real suspect that if the old folks don't come clean...he's supposed to lay into them with a piece of garden hose.

If he even makes an attempt to strike the old folks...shoot the idiot in the head.

Anyone worth turning around would call you a crazy bastage and try to stop you from torturing old people. If he didn't...then he not worth saving and likely a Demon.

Burn him at the stake after you shoot him.

;)

[soonerinabilene]

Let one of the older folks in on what your about to do so you don't give them a heart attack.

Now...go to the real suspect and tell him you think the old folks are stealing from your family.

Duct tape a shotgun to the old folks neck and tell the real suspect that if the old folks don't come clean...he's supposed to lay into them with a piece of garden hose.

If he even makes an attempt to strike the old folks...shoot the idiot in the head.

Anyone worth turning around would call you a crazy bastage and try to stop you from torturing old people. If he didn't...then he not worth saving and likely a Demon.

Burn him at the stake after you shoot him.

;)

FWIW, dont try this if the suspected thief is your mother in law. She will never admit she is wrong, and your wife will be ****ed that you had to shoot her mom in the head.