happily married know-ur bout-urs

[TopDaugIn2000]

I know, I know, most think "happily married is an oxymoron"....

but seriously, how/when did you know you had met "THE ONE".

[frankensooner]

You should marry a person based upon compatibility, shared interests and comparable values and beliefs.

If you base it on feelings alone, you might be in for a world of hurt, but you might want to check your spek for my reason.

[TopDaugIn2000]

I saw the spek, but I don't get it.......

[TopDaugIn2000]

OH! I've never heard that expression before.....

[OUDoc]

Dr. Neil Clark Warren will tell you.




I realized I wanted to be with my wife more than with my friends. That is, I always preferred to have her around vs. going out without her. (That had never happened before).
DON'T be in a hurry. Lust wears off, then you're just stuck with some *******. :)

[TopDaugIn2000]

I'm not in any hurry. 27 is YOUNG now days. right???

[frankensooner]

That is how old I was 14 years ago when I wed.

[tbl]

I actually met my wife a couple of weeks before I turned 15. I knew it then the same way I know it now. Its weird b/c teenagers are probably the stupidest people alive, and I was definitely one of them... but I just knew it with her. Of course now I tell kids that age that they don't know what they're talking about... but you never know.

[JohnnyMack]

When she handed me the pregnancy test.

[OCUDad]

Lust wears off, then you're just stuck with some *******. :)I think you need a little more variety in your sex life. :D

[soonerinabilene]

I believe that God had one woman that He made to be my wife. When I kissed her for the first time, I knew she was the one. She knew I was the one. To a lot of people, that sounds crazy. But not to me.

[SoonerTerry]

When her shotgun weildin dad handed me the pregnancy test.


fixed

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I'm sure I will learn a lot from this thread. Most days I think I am no more closer to meeting "the one" than I was the day I was born.

[TopDaugIn2000]

apparently the ticket is to get yourself knocked up.

hopefully that'll never happen to me though, YIKES! Every doctor I've been to doesn't think I'm capable of making a permanent decision "so young". :mad:

[OUDoc]

I think you need a little more variety in your sex life. :D
But my wife always insists on being there. :(


:D

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

apparently the ticket is to get yourself knocked up.

hopefully that'll never happen to me though, YIKES! Every doctor I've been to doesn't think I'm capable of making a permanent decision "so young". :mad:Ugh, I love kids, but at this point I can't imagine having one. I went to a Christmas party and three people had their babies there. Back in the day, people made babies at this Christmas party.

[bri]

But my wife always insists on being there. :(


:D

Then have her hold the camera. :D

[1stTimeCaller]

Then have her hold the camera. :D

then what am I supposed to do?

[bluedogok]

I'm not in any hurry. 27 is YOUNG now days. right???
It wasn't until I was about 35 before I even considered marriage, when we got married I was 39 and my wife was 38, neither of us had been married before. I knew that I needed to wait until I was "mature" enough to give the commitment what it required. I went through too many of my friends divorces and saw what caused it in many cases was immaturity and selfishness on one or usually both parties. Age also has very little to do with maturity, I dated someone 8 years older when I was 35 and she was much more immature than the 24 year old that I dated a year later.

Since I waited so long, my "radar" got better over the years and I learned to quickly assess in a female the differences between one that would make a fun time partner and one that could possibly be a lifetime partner. I had relationships that I knew could "work" in respect to marriage but there always seemed to be some lingering doubt in my mind. When my wife and I met, it didn't take long for me to realize it even though I lived in OKC and she lived here in Austin. She first messaged me in August 2002, flew up to OKC OU-Texas weekend for our first meeting and we were seeing each other every 3 weeks or so after that. By Christmas we just both knew it was meant to be, I moved to Austin in May 2003 and we married in June.

I do believe when you find the "right match" you will know it pretty much immediately. Too many try to force someone into that image of what they think is the right match. I never envisioned that my right match would be someone around my own age, for the most part I always went out with younger because the women my age were too "old" for my personality. You just have to be open to what is out there and not force anything. If you have any doubts or questions in your mind about the other person, then it is probably not the "right" match. That is what I found to be the case for me.

[JohnnyMack]

then what am I supposed to do?

His wife?

[SicEmBaylor]

I'm not in any hurry. 27 is YOUNG now days. right???

You're only 2 years older than me, and I happen to be in the market.

Uhh, how YOU doin'?

[TopDaugIn2000]

again, I don't date guys I can benchpress :P



and I hate Branson

[frankensooner]

I wouldn't worry, he couldn't even find Houston. ;)

[1stTimeCaller]

he'd be looking for your delores down by your ankle!!

[TopDaugIn2000]

LOL

[SoonerStormchaser]

Ok...I know people give me a lot of **** about who I married, but I was asking myself the same question while Carolyn and I were still dating. Here's what I came up with (this is for guys...just substitute it for the ladies):

First and foremost, when you can't spend another day without them in your life...and that feeling's lasted for a LONG time, then you know she's it. If she's seen you at your worst, and you've seen her at hers, then you know she's it. If you can stand her during "that time of the month (vice versa for the six times or so per month the men have hormonal imbalances)" while only rolling your eyes a few times, then she's the one. If you can go through the hell of both your families going ape**** when you tell them you're together, and let time prove you right...then she's the one.

But I digress...

[bri]

You hear that, TD2K? If you can tolerate your guy while he's on his period, he's the one.

Great advice, kid. Way to step up to the plate and knock it out of the park for Team Fail.

[TopDaugIn2000]

LOL

nice

[TexasLidig8r]

Well..let me just elucidate all with my own grand experience about happy marriages...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgIB9XRaj0E&feature=related

[1stTimeCaller]

If you can stand her during "that time of the month

Yeah but you knew that you only had a few more months left of 'that time of the month' when you guys started dating.

[Frozen Sooner]

I think Doc nailed it.

[OCUDad]

I think Doc nailed it.We've been through this already. Any more talk of Doc "nailing it" will make Mrs. Doc suspicious.

[NormanPride]

Yeah, Doc pretty much got it in one.

[skycat]

When our parents arranged it.

[OCUDad]

Only thing I would add to Doc's observation is to be sure you can make each other laugh. Marriage without laughter is just "being roommates."

[IB4OU2]

No comment...

( plying them with precious gems does help)

[soonerhubs]

Read this book (http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment/dp/1881273156)and identify the person who meets your love languages willingly and consistently. YWIA

[SoonerJack]

I agree with OCUDad re: making each other laugh. In fact, hearing my wife laugh is like music to my ears. And her making me laugh is not too difficult either. Her antics could easily be recreated as I Love Lucy episodes.

[OKC-SLC]

Lust wears off, then you're just stuck with some *******. :)
Exactly. Just like OUDoc's wife is.




;)

[Okla-homey]

I know, I know, most think "happily married is an oxymoron"....

but seriously, how/when did you know you had met "THE ONE".

I know this much, it's waaaay more than just tinglies in your dangly bits.

I also know this. You know the honeymoon is over when you can put on your make-up while your husband is drooping a deuce in the same bathroom.:D

[Jimminy Crimson]

I also know this. You know the honeymoon is over when you can put on your make-up while your husband is drooping a deuce in the same bathroom.:D

I don't know which one is more disturbing; you wearing makeup or having a husband! ;)

[OKC-SLC]

I know this much, it's waaaay more than just tinglies in your dangly bits.

I also know this. You know the honeymoon is over when you can put on your make-up while your husband is drooping a deuce in the same bathroom.:D
The most comforting part of this post is your talking about your dangly bits.

[Viking Kitten]

Oh ewww, Homey. Some of us will never get to that point. Mainly because I can't apply makeup when noxious man-fumes have rendered me unconscious.

[OKC-SLC]

I don't know which one is more disturbing; you wearing makeup or having a husband! ;)
never mind my above post--you already covered it.

[r5TPsooner]

Dr. Neil Clark Warren will tell you.




I realized I wanted to be with my wife more than with my friends. That is, I always preferred to have her around vs. going out without her. (That had never happened before).



I agree, my wife and I do almost everything together and that includes playing golf and going to OU games. Most women that I dated before hand, would have only done those things on occasion. However, the most important thing that made me realize that Mrs. r5 was the one, was that she allowed me to be myself and she always took the good with the bad. It also helped that she is the good cop and I'm the bad cop in the relationship which seems to help level things out IMHO.

Good luck.

[OCUDad]

Oh ewww, Homey. Some of us will never get to that point. Mainly because I can't apply makeup when noxious man-fumes have rendered me unconscious.Oh yeah, like yours don't stink.:pop:

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Oh yeah, like yours don't stink.:pop:czar doesn't wear makeup either.

[C&CDean]

pffff don't ask me. My first wife was "the one" until I decided to quit smoking rock cocaine, weed, and doing pills. When I sobered up I thought "wtf did I ever see in that yainch hole?"

My second wife was just somebody to be a momma to my kids. Raising 3 boys by your lonesome is a bitch. Unfortunately, so was she, so straight to the curb her obnoxious *** went.

My current wife (12 years now) is the first one I actually liked. And I still like her to this day. I don't have any plans for it to end, and I hope it never does, but one thing I've learned in this life is that you never say never. Ever. I could think it's gonna work forever, and the next thing you know she goes lesmolio and runs off with some fat dyke.

I'm content as a calf sucking on his momma's overstuffed tit, and I'm reasonably sure she is too, but one just never knows...

[OKC-SLC]

Dean, you mind if i use some of that post for a homemade valentines day card for the wife?

TIA.

[C&CDean]

Knock yourself out.

[r5TPsooner]

pffff don't ask me. My first wife was "the one" until I decided to quit smoking rock cocaine, weed, and doing pills. When I sobered up I thought "wtf did I ever see in that yainch hole?"

My second wife was just somebody to be a momma to my kids. Raising 3 boys by your lonesome is a bitch. Unfortunately, so was she, so straight to the curb her obnoxious *** went.

My current wife (12 years now) is the first one I actually liked. And I still like her to this day. I don't have any plans for it to end, and I hope it never does, but one thing I've learned in this life is that you never say never. Ever. I could think it's gonna work forever, and the next thing you know she goes lesmolio and runs off with some fat dyke.

I'm content as a calf sucking on his momma's overstuffed tit, and I'm reasonably sure she is too, but one just never knows...

Having met your wife at the tailgates she seems a lot like my wife. Loyal, friendly and intelligent, but if your *** gets out of line, she'll be the 1st one to let you know.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I don't believe in a "the one" myself as in one person is made just for you and it all works out because people have free will.What if "the one" decides to move or something else? I ve have good friends that have dated since the 5th grade(called each other bf and gf since then) and have been married for 11 years. OR like TBL's case. Those things happen but its not the normal accurance. Reading the book Hubler suggested is a great idea. I read it and still own it and look at it every now and again. Couple of my own thoughts:

1. Don't count the first 3 months of dating as being a relationship. Thats just a grace period where everything is all good. They can do no wrong and you cant either. Before you marry someone, they need to have seen you at your worst(behavior wise) and you need to see them at their worst. It usually takes a couple of months after the grace period is over. Your blinder glasses are off and you can see him or her for what they are.

2. Common belief system is necessary in my opinion. Religious, moral issues, basic foundational principles.

3. Can you see yourself with this person at age 65 or 70? When things start dropping, shrinking, you know all that stuff, is this still the person for you? If you cant imagine yourself growing old with someone, it probably isnt gonna work..

And the 4th thing which really is number 1..He/SHe has to be a Sooner fan..If they are not an OU fan, they sure cant be osu/texas fans..cant imagine that hell

[Cam]

I know, I know, most think "happily married is an oxymoron"....

but seriously, how/when did you know you had met "THE ONE".
As I'm thinking about how to answer this question, I started wondering what my life would be like without my wife and I'm about to start crying. So I'm a schmuck, sue me.

Not only is she my wife, she's my best friend. I can tell her anything and she doesn't judge me. She'll sure as hell let me know when I've messed up though. As Dean said, never say never. I hope and pray that it lasts and I'll work my *** of to do my part to ensure that it does.

Obviously, it's different for everybody. Even though it's a cliche, you just know.

My suggestion, take your time. We lived together for a year and half before we got married. We saw the good and the bad in each other.

[Mongo]

just marry someone for their money, and if you get deevorced, you get half

[OKC-SLC]

just marry someone for their money, and if you get deevorced, you get half
good post.

[Rogue]

I don't know how I did it, but I really lucked out. I can't really answer the question about 'when I knew.' Been married 5 years and we are comfortable and happy together and still look forward to the future with much anticipation and excitement. And it's mostly her doing. I'm just a big dumb guy that goes through my life as a dedicated hedonist and occasionally take her advice. Mrs. Rogue is just the best person I've ever known. She has her moments sure, but they really are few and far between. I listen to her not because it's polite but because she's interesting. I want to spend time with her because we enjoy it not because I'm supposed to spend time with her. We share many interests and have many of our own that we don't share. I also lucked out with the in-laws. I must have been a helluva person in a past life or something.

Now, if she'll just get better, get out of ICU, come home, and bake me a pie! ;)

[olevetonahill]

Ive been Hitched 3 times
Really thot It was the ONE
Guess what
It wasnt , Like Mongo said Go for the Money
Ive Met Mrs Dean
shed kick all of our asses ! and make Dean like it !
Ya done good Dean ;)

[crawfish]

We are best friends and we both are dedicated to working things out, no matter how tough. My wife and I are almost absolute opposites...what she needs most are the things I have the toughest time providing, and vice versa. Through love, dedication and God's grace we have survived every difficulty, though, and came out of them loving each other more than before.

[olevetonahill]

Oh wait you said Happy ***********s
My bad :O

[Sooner_Bob]

I'm not in any hurry. 27 is YOUNG now days. right???


I guess. But I married the love of my life when we were 20 and 21. I think it's just something that you know. You feel differently around them. You look at them different. I can't imagine my life without her.

It's hard to explain, but not hard to understand/know when it happens.

[olevetonahill]

I guess. But I married the love of my life when I we were 20 and 21. I think it's just something that you know. You feel differently around them. You look at them different.

It's hard to explain, but not hard to understand/know when it happens.
I think Waylon Jennings did a song about me .;)

[TopDaugIn2000]

Peggy Sue?

[olevetonahill]

Peggy Sue?
Naw try this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r0fKL0Pvvk

[IB4OU2]

We are best friends and we both are dedicated to working things out, no matter how tough. My wife and I are almost absolute opposites...what she needs most are the things I have the toughest time providing, and vice versa. Through love, dedication and God's grace we have survived every difficulty, though, and came out of them loving each other more than before.



Ditto here....we survived the difficulties of last year and our bond is stronger and stronger as each day goes by with the help and grace of God we can overcome anything. Loving and being with someone for 30 years is great but never assume anything or get to comfortable because marriage is always a work in progress.

[Tear Down This Wall]

I know, I know, most think "happily married is an oxymoron"....

but seriously, how/when did you know you had met "THE ONE".

When she swallowed without gagging or complaining. That's when I knew....

....just kidding?

[JohnnyMack]

You put the class in classy.

[Howzit]

I would be interested in OUMartin's thoughts.

[Okla-homey]

speaking as a guy who has been married for 25+ years, to the same woman I might add, you know your partner is "the One" when she tells you.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Smart man, Homey

[reevie]

After my first marriage, I said I would marry for money. That didn't pan out, but I'm better off for it.

Alot of it has been said, you have to like your spouse, have the same beliefs, morals and values. The humor thing is important. I do something and my wife can't stop laughing. She just thinks I'm funny doing normal things.

Communication is vital. Can you talk to your spouse, do you respect them and do they respect you? Have a knock down, drag out fight while you're dating. How is it resolved? Can it be talked out respectfully or is it ignored? If you can't talk about the difficult things in life, you will have problems because life is full of difficult things. You have to lay out your expectations. If you expect your spouse to do something for/to you, they need to know. Otherwise resentment will build and fester.

Money. You have to have a similar perspective on how you handle your finances. Before I married my wife, we sat down and went over our bills, made a budget and prioritized how we would pay off our debts. We got it done in 2 years. Money is one of the leading causes of divorce, do not go into a marriage without addressing it and having a plan.

Marriage isn't about what you can get out of it. You can't be selfish and you can't be with a selfish person.

And don't forget...
1 Corinthians 13

If both of you can answer yes to that Chapter, you're probably in good shape

[SoonerBOI]

I know, I know, most think "happily married is an oxymoron"....

but seriously, how/when did you know you had met "THE ONE".


I don't think there's any real right or wrong answer to this question, but I'll tell you how it worked for me.

I was reeling fom a major break-up. My bestfriend called and we went out to a date. The moment she stumbled into the door, I knew that something was different. She walked in, hugged me, and before I knew it, a hoard of people crowded inside the club. She lost me for a few seconds, but soon grabbed my hand, and said, "I've got you."

At that point, I lost my heart.

We were getting ready to part ways for the night. We were sitting on a bench, and we hugged. At that moment, I didn't want to let go. It felt as if she was the other half of me that had been missing for so long. We hugged and we practically had to pull ourselves from each other's arms.

At that moment, I thought to myself, "This is the woman I'm going to marry."

I also think that it works on a subconscious or perhaps instinctive level, but when I hit that point w/ the woman I was then dating, I knew she was the one I wanted to be my wife. I...just knew.

[sooneron]

Doc may be right, but I knew it when I saw that she brought a stability to my life, a stability of a high paying job with benefits and upward mobility. :D

[crawfish]

You put the *** in classy.

Fixed. :pop:

[Sooner_Bob]

If by *** you mean **** then I agree.

:pop: