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View Full Version : Global warming to destroy red states, leave blue states intact.



Jerk
12/27/2007, 10:15 PM
http://www.baltimorechronicle.com/2007/122407Lindorff.shtml


COMMENTARY:
Global Warming Will Save America from the Right...Eventually
by Dave Lindorff

The future political map of America is likely to look a lot different, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.

Say what you will about the looming catastrophe facing the world as the pace of global heating and polar melting accelerates. There is a silver lining.

Look at a map of the US.

The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast, including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. While the northeast will also see some coastal flooding, its geography is such that that aside from a few projecting sandbars like Long Island and Cape Cod, the land rises fairly quickly to well above sea level. Sure, Boston, New York and Philadelphia will be threatened, but these are geographically confined areas that could lend themselves to protection by Dutch-style dikes. The West Coast too tends to rise rapidly to well above sea level in most places. Only down in Southern California towards the San Diego area is the ground closer to sea level.

So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.

Then there’s the matter of the Midwest, which climate experts say is likely to face a permanent condition of unprecedented drought, making the place largely unlivable, and certainly unfarmable. The agribusinesses and conservative farmers that have been growing corn and wheat may be able to stretch out this doomsday scenario by deep well drilling, but west of the Mississippi, the vast Ogallala Aquifer that has allowed for such irrigation is already being tapped out. It will not be replaced.

So again, we will see the decline and depopulation of the nation’s vast midsection—noted for its consistent conservatism. Only in the northernmost area, around the Great Lakes (which will be not so great anymore), and along the Canadian border, will there still be enough rain for farming and continued large population concentrations, but those regions, like Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois, are also more liberal in their politics.

Finally, in the Southwest, already parched and stiflingly hot, the rise in energy costs and the soaring temperatures will put an end to right-wing retirement communities like Phoenix, Tucson and Palm Springs. Already the Salton Sea is fading away and putting Palm Springs on notice that the good times are coming to an end. Another right-wing haven soon to be gone.

So the future political map of America is likely to look as different as the much shrunken geographical map, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.

There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.

The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city. They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.

There will be much work to be done to help the earth and its residents—human and non-human—survive this man-made catastrophe, and we can’t have these future refugee troglodytes, should their personal disasters still fail to make them recognize reality, mucking things up again.

It should be considered acceptable, in this stifling new world, to say, “Shut up. We told you this would happen.”

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9393/goreri6.jpg

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I really don't have any comments, except a slight giggle and a :rolleyes:

tommieharris91
12/28/2007, 01:07 AM
So California WON'T fall into the ocean, or flood, or anything like that? :confused:

SoonerTerry
12/28/2007, 07:39 AM
Lindork is a moran

SoonerBorn68
12/28/2007, 08:04 AM
I hope that dude gets hit by a bus. :mad:

VeeJay
12/28/2007, 09:40 AM
You gotta be shi*tin' me.

What a jackass.

I guess, coupled with the wrath of global warming and Osama bin Laden's pledge for al Qaeda to carry out attacks in states that didn't vote for Kerry, us ignorant rednecks don't have a prayer.

OklahomaTuba
12/28/2007, 09:49 AM
What a sick bastard.

LiberalFantasyLand™ at its finest.

TopDaugIn2000
12/28/2007, 10:01 AM
OH THAT'S FUNNY

bri
12/28/2007, 10:16 AM
I don't know what's funnier, that crackpot article or all the righties' rabid responses to it.

Good times.

Jerk
12/28/2007, 10:26 AM
IIRC correctly, Bri, Tulsa is somewhere around 900 feet ASL, whilst Oklahoma City is 1100 feet ASL. You know what that means? Like they say in Scotland: "you're fooked!"

bri
12/28/2007, 01:40 PM
Yeah, but we're elevated. :D

Tulsa > water > OKC

OklahomaTuba
12/28/2007, 02:02 PM
Ahh, of course. The article wasn't serious.

At.

All.

I'm sure this master of sarcasm will soon be nominated for the next Nobel "Peace" Prize. If Gore can do it for basically the same BS, no reason this guy can't.

OCUDad
12/28/2007, 03:21 PM
The only thing that keeps the loons of the far left from being the dumbest organisms on the planet is the hysterical, rabid, and lunatic overreaction to their lunacy by the loons of the far right.

VeeJay
12/28/2007, 03:42 PM
Yet even funnier than all the above referenced funny stuff is the lefty apologists for this clown.

sooner n houston
12/28/2007, 04:21 PM
I just wonder if these same scientist will turn around and predict global freezing again, like they did in the 70's, here in ten years or so when this phase passes. Well of coures they will! MoveOn, nothing to see here. :D

mdklatt
12/29/2007, 11:32 AM
I just wonder if Newsweek magazine will turn around and predict global freezing again

Fixed.

mdklatt
12/29/2007, 11:51 AM
I have a question for all the climate experts here. I really want to not believe in global warming, since it would be so inconvenient and all if that was true, but I have this one nagging doubt. If humans burn fossil fuels, and fossil fuels produce CO2, and atmospheric CO2 is increasing, and CO2 is a greenhouse, then I just can't figure out how there can't be global warming. I mean, I know anything that Al Gore says is true must be false, but I just don't understand which natural cycle is preventing a known greenhouse gas from acting like a greenhouse gas. Can somebody clear that up? TIA.

StoopTroup
12/29/2007, 11:58 AM
I have a question for all the climate experts here. I really want to not believe in global warming, since it would be so inconvenient and all if that was true, but I have this one nagging doubt. If humans burn fossil fuels, and fossil fuels produce CO2, and atmospheric CO2 is increasing, and CO2 is a greenhouse, then I just can't figure out how there can't be global warming. I mean, I know anything that Al Gore says is true must be false, but I just don't understand which natural cycle is preventing a known greenhouse gas from acting like a greenhouse gas. Can somebody clear that up? TIA.
I think you need a PS3.

:pop:

crawfish
12/29/2007, 12:14 PM
It IS funny.

The same type of humor used when conservatives say they hope liberal California sinks into the Pacific. :)

Free speech = sarcastic stuff I say about you
Hate speech = sarcastic stuff you say about me