Women are the succ.. I'm officially ghey now!

[TexasLidig8r]

So, for quite some time I have been involved with a very nice lady.. attractive, intelligent, out-going, uninhibited.. and puts up with my bullcarp.

So... for Christmas..from December 13 - 16, I rented a beachhouse in Galveston.. and we're talking right on the sand.... not great weather and Galveston beaches are not great.. but. .hey.. while you f'in' hillbillies were freezin in the ice.. we were dining well and sleeping with the door open looking out over the Gulf of Mexico...

So. .for Christmas.. I thew down the Must de Cartier perfume and body milk... some Jo Malone...some expensive, great lingerie from a little store in Paris.. and a necklace from Tiffanys... it's all well and good... and then... 'Well Steven.. I would have loved to have gotten a promise ring." :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :rolleyes: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I'm through with women... break out the lube and Blue Boys.

Ghey as a parade from this point on! :mad: :mad:

[Mjcpr]

I think she wanted one for her ****.

[Lott's Bandana]

What the hell is a promise ring?

TIA

[IB4OU2]

So, for quite some time I have been involved with a very nice lady.. attractive, intelligent, out-going, uninhibited.. and puts up with my bullcarp.

So... for Christmas..from December 13 - 16, I rented a beachhouse in Galveston.. and we're talking right on the sand.... not great weather and Galveston beaches are not great.. but. .hey.. while you f'in' hillbillies were freezin in the ice.. we were dining well and sleeping with the door open looking out over the Gulf of Mexico...

So. .for Christmas.. I thew down the Must de Cartier perfume and body milk... some Jo Malone...some expensive, great lingerie from a little store in Paris.. and a necklace from Tiffanys... it's all well and good... and then... 'Well Steven.. I would have loved to have gotten a promise ring." :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :rolleyes: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I'm through with women... break out the lube and Blue Boys.

Ghey as a parade from this point on! :mad: :mad:

I was wondering what your :mad: was in my thread last week...now I know. Get her one and make a promise.

[TopDaugIn2000]

promise rings are so "High school"

give me a freakin break

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

You REALLY ARE a lawyer...and a whorn.

[1stTimeCaller]

get her a promise vibrator

or a promise sex swing

[Lott's Bandana]

I rented a beachhouse in Galveston.. and we're talking right on the sand....
I thew down the Must de Cartier perfume and body milk... some Jo Malone...some expensive, great lingerie from a little store in Paris.. and a necklace from Tiffanys...

Oh, and I meant to ask...what did you get?
:pop:

[tommieharris91]

It's alright Lid. This comes as no surprise to the South Oval. We're glad you're finally being honest.

[1stTimeCaller]

give her a promise pearl necklace

[Mjcpr]

give her a promise pearl necklace

He's pushing 60; we're talking a pearl and a half, max.

[Oldnslo]

promise ring? You were dating a 15 year-old?


Glad you're feeling liberated in outing yourself.

[frankensooner]

Guys with commitment issues are latent homos anyway. ;)

[1stTimeCaller]

did she get you a walker? a new hip?

you should get her a promise Italian Chandilier

[tbl]

Seriously dude... it's either engagement, wedding, or just a ring. Promise ring? You might as well get a gold identity bracelet with your name on one side and hers on the other. Maybe after she gets her braces off you'll ask your Mom to up your allowance so you can swing it. ;)

[Paperclip]

How about you be a man, quit using her for sex and make a commitment?

[Lott's Bandana]

I'm thinkin:

Tent in a rest area with the flap open overlooking I-35, can of Psssssst!, some 2% milk, an autographed pic of Moses Malone, a pair of whitie-tighties from Wal-Mart, and that Pearl Necklace 1TC recommended....

You'da got the same question.

Send her an invoice....

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I remember giving a promise ring...when i was 9...it was out of those 25 cent toy machines....

[1stTimeCaller]

you should have sprung for the rest of his/her sex change!

[ChickSoonerFan]

A promise ring? How young is this "lady"?

Have you guys even discussed marriage?

[Okla-homey]

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Wimmen, notwithstanding any claims by them to the contrary, desire commitment from those with whom they do the oingo-boingo. Their brains are hard-wired that way. It's primordial.

See kids, it goes back to our early origins as a species. Cave woman would give it up to cave man who evidenced a willingness and the means to care for her and any issue of their skronkage.

You can look it up.

Now, modern women, despite thousands of Cosmopolitan articles purporting to de-bunk the above fact, have not evolved much in that department. And that is a good thing. If not, we would be living in world awash in random hook-ups, illegitimacy would be at unmanageble levels, the social costs would be enormous and wimmen's psyche's would be devastated...wait.

never mind.

[tbl]

Maybe you should have taken her to Branson...

[Desert Sapper]

Oh, please...

Nobody believes you were with this 'attractive, intelligent, out-going, uninhibited' gal without pictures.

Pictures that include you, dude.

[soonerbrat]

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Wimmen, notwithstanding any claims by them to the contrary, desire commitment from those with whom they do the oingo-boingo. Their brains are hard-wired that way. It's primordial.

See kids, it goes back to our early origins as a species. Cave woman would give it up to cave man who evidenced a willingness and the means to care for her and any issue of their skronkage.

You can look it up.

Now, modern women, despite thousands of Cosmopolitan articles purporting to de-bunk the above fact, have not evolved much in that department. And that is a good thing. If not, we would be living in world awash in random hook-ups, illegitimacy would be at unmanageble levels, the social costs would be enormous and wimmen's psyche's would be devastated...wait.

never mind.



that reminds me of a story about free milk and a cow

[TexasLidig8r]

Maybe you should have taken her to Branson...

yes.. well done.. well played indeed sir.

She's 37!

I think it was more a "look world, I'm in a committed relationship and I'm off the market" type thing that ONLY a ring can convey (or so, societal norms indicate). Hell's bells.. I've been monogomy.. ish.. and the trinkets and toys AND.. I haven't done anything incredibly stupid in awhile! What more does a woman want?

As for pushing 60.. nah.. I'm not even 50 yet. :mad:

As for the pearl necklace (we had a beachhouse .. what do you think happened there OneTimer!)...

[Widescreen]

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/heavenlytreasuresjewelry_1979_52504239

Nice. According to wikipedia, promise rings can mean any of the following:

* Promise rings can mean: "I will be faithful to you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will return to you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will keep you in my heart always"
* Promise rings can mean: "My intention is to marry you one day"
* Promise rings can mean: "We are best friends"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will always be there for you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I love you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will stay chaste until marriage"

Which one applies here?

[Lott's Bandana]

Wimmen, desire commitment from those with whom they do the oingo-boingo.



That would be a killer siggy, Home.


oingo-boingo...:D

[Lott's Bandana]

"Honey, I've taken my profile off of Match.com"

That's the new Promise Ring.

[TexasLidig8r]

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/heavenlytreasuresjewelry_1979_52504239

Nice. According to wikipedia, promise rings can mean any of the following:

* Promise rings can mean: "I will be faithful to you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will return to you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will keep you in my heart always"
* Promise rings can mean: "My intention is to marry you one day"
* Promise rings can mean: "We are best friends"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will always be there for you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I love you"
* Promise rings can mean: "I will stay chaste until marriage"

Which one applies here?

All of them.. well.. except for the first and the last.. and quite frankly.. I'm too lazy to chase anymore.. it's not worth it. As for the 4th thing... does it have to be flippin' married? Between the pre-nup and the stock ownership waiver agreement and no kids ever... what's the point? :confused:

[M]

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Wimmen, notwithstanding any claims by them to the contrary, desire commitment from those with whom they do the oingo-boingo. Their brains are hard-wired that way. It's primordial.

You obviously haven't met me. ;)

[TopDaugIn2000]

heh


I may be easy, but I'm certainly not cheap!

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

I'm thinkin:

Tent in a rest area with the flap open overlooking I-35, can of Psssssst!, some 2% milk, an autographed pic of Moses Malone, a pair of whitie-tighties from Wal-Mart, and that Pearl Necklace 1TC recommended....

You'da got the same question.

Send her an invoice....Har!

[tommieharris91]

M sounds like someone I need to meet...

[ChickSoonerFan]

I can understand her wanting a committment from you, and a ring is a great way to say it. But a promise ring? That sounded strange to me from anyone no longer a teenager.

[BigRedJed]

You obviously haven't met me. ;)
Deer lord, that's gonna get 'em all whipped into a frenzy. I really didn't want to have to wear my mod hat today. Thanks alot, M.

[M]

Deer lord, that's gonna get 'em all whipped into a frenzy. I really didn't want to have to wear my mod hat today. Thanks alot, M.

Sorry. Oh my, looks like it's almost time for noontime Mass!

:P

[Lott's Bandana]

Your dilemma is so incredibly funny.

I can be the wise, thoughtful advice-giver...point out the flaws in your approach and expectations, as well as hers. Tell you both to have a conversation about the fact that you were both together for this weekend...together...not with someone else...isn't that enough? Stuff like that...

Now I'll probably go out and completely fall for the checker at Trader Joe's...

at least Christmas isn't for a while now.

[royalfan5]

Wouldn't it just be simpler for Lid to hire companionship on a per-use basis? Or maybe a standing appointment?

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Sorry. Oh my, looks like it's almost time for noontime a**!

:P

Fixed.

(Sorry, BRJ! Don't shoe-whip me too hard...:D )

[Jerk]

Sorry. Oh my, looks like it's almost time for nooner!

:P

:)

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

I'm just gonna sit here and wait for Dean.

[C&CDean]

And this is what our very own Sicem aspires to be. This is the role model he wishes to emulate himself after. How sad is that?

I coulda bought another bred heifer for what you paid for cheap-assed perfume and french drawers, and it'd be making me money.

[fadada1]

frankly, i'm at a loss or words.

promise ring???

i say stick it in her rear and promise not to do it again unless she asks.

[boomersooner28]

So Lid is dating an 8th grader. Whats new? ;)

[C&CDean]

I'm just gonna sit here and wait for Dean.

Well hell, if I'd have known you were waiting I'da done a better job.

Women, this is why you don't fall for fancy boys.

If you're dating a guy who wears stinkass cologne, neck chains, bracelets, and other assorted jewelry, has had any type of cosmetic surgery, has hair implants, pecker implants, drives a Mercedes/BMW/Audi/Saab, wears silk underdrawers, smokes overpriced cigars and eats at overpriced sushi joints, lavishes you with feminine gifts that no man worth his saltpeter would even know about, gets his nails done, has been in a tanning booth, wears a bowtie and takes you on a vacation to the beach in Texas in the middle of the ****ing winter then all I can say is "you better be damn thankful he didn't buy you a promise ring yet."

Lid, there are times I weep for thee.

[fadada1]

Well hell, if I'd have known you were waiting I'da done a better job.

Women, this is why you don't fall for fancy boys.

If you're dating a guy who wears stinkass cologne, neck chains, bracelets, and other assorted jewelry, has had any type of cosmetic surgery, has hair implants, pecker implants, drives a Mercedes/BMW/Audi/Saab, wears silk underdrawers, smokes overpriced cigars and eats at overpriced sushi joints, lavishes you with feminine gifts that no man worth his saltpeter would even know about, gets his nails done, has been in a tanning booth, wears a bowtie and takes you on a vacation to the beach in Texas in the middle of the ****ing winter then all I can say is "you better be damn thankful he didn't buy you a promise ring yet."

Lid, there are times I weep for thee.
sounds like you know a thing or two about men.

NTTAWWT

[C&CDean]

sounds like you know a thing or two about men.

NTTAWWT

Oh yeah, one other thing. Don't date guys who aspire to be golf caddies for the fancy boys I mentioned in the previous post.

[rufnek05]

and I thought I had commitment issues.

[fadada1]

Oh yeah, one other thing. Don't date guys who aspire to be golf caddies for the fancy boys I mentioned in the previous post.
golf PRO. i'm a professional athlete!!!!!!!

:D

[TexasLidig8r]

Well hell, if I'd have known you were waiting I'da done a better job.

Women, this is why you don't fall for fancy boys.

If you're dating a guy who wears stinkass cologne, mine is subtley elegant.

neck chains, bracelets, and other assorted jewelry, nope.. only cufflinks and a UT class ring

has had any type of cosmetic surgery, nope

has hair implants, nope

pecker implants, nope.. as an aside, do those work?.. did yours? :D

drives a Mercedes/BMW/Audi/Saab, nope

wears silk underdrawers, check

smokes overpriced cigars get mine very reasonably priced

and eats at overpriced sushi joints, all things are equal.. you pay more for quality than cow on a shingle

lavishes you with feminine gifts that no man worth his saltpeter would even know about, it's that Renaissance Man thing..

gets his nails done, Manicures RAWK....

has been in a tanning booth, Never been...

wears a bowtie check

and takes you on a vacation to the beach in Texas in the middle of the ****ing winter then all I can say is "you better be damn thankful he didn't buy you a promise ring yet."

Lid, there are times I weep for thee.

Actually.. I thought.. what would Dean do? But.. I figured she wasn't up for being thrown on the ground, hog tied and branded!

[frankensooner]

Hey, don't knock hog tying. ;)

[IB4OU2]

Actually.. I thought.. what would Dean do? But.. I figured she wasn't up for being thrown on the ground, hog tied and branded!

How else do think that hiefer got bred?

[Lott's Bandana]

Or tying hogknockers! Right Dean?

[Howzit]

Shoulda told her she can wear that **** ring on her fanger as a promise you're doing her again in 30 minutes.

[Lott's Bandana]

How else do think that hiefer got bred?

:pop:

[C&CDean]

Actually.. I thought.. what would Dean do? But.. I figured she wasn't up for being thrown on the ground, hog tied and branded!

Sounds to me like you figured wrong counsellor.

[C&CDean]

How else do think that hiefer got bred?

Dude, I do know why aggies wear boots.

[85Sooner]

Before anything read Gene Simmons view on marriage.

[SoonerGirl06]

Actually.. I thought.. what would Dean do? But.. I figured she wasn't up for being thrown on the ground, hog tied and branded!

Actually, I think that's exactly what she needs.

She'll be so completely blown away she won't remember anything about wanting a ring.

Trust me.

[C&CDean]

I. Rest. My. Case.

Your witness counsellor.

[Lott's Bandana]

Googling: Hogtie, instructions

[SoonerGirl06]

A real man doesn't need to google. He already knows.... ;)

[OKC-SLC]

Only the fact that this thread has taken a turn toward sexual bondage can explain the paucity of "In other news, Germans bomb Pearl Harbor" or "In other news, water is wet" comments which I would otherwise expect in response to a thread title such as this one.

It's one of those times when I can't decide if I'm disappointed or proud.

Either way, Lid needs to PIITB.

[olevetonahill]

Only the fact that this thread has taken a turn toward sexual bondage can explain the paucity of "In other news, Germans bomb Pearl Harbor" or "In other news, water is wet" comments which I would otherwise expect in response to a thread title such as this one.

It's one of those times when I can't decide if I'm disappointed or proud.

Either way, Lid needs to HIPIHB.
:eek:

[Lott's Bandana]

A real man doesn't need to google. He already knows.... ;)

Well....

its just that....

Ever try to tie neckies to a bedpost in the heat of the moment? I got to where I would just leave 'em...

[Jerk]

Actually.. I thought.. what would Dean do? But.. I figured she wasn't up for being thrown on the ground, hog tied and branded!

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/165/wrong01my9.jpg

[SoonerGirl06]

Well....

its just that....

Ever try to tie neckies to a bedpost in the heat of the moment? I got to where I would just leave 'em...


Tee Hee... yes... and they have been left there for more than just a night or two.


FWIW... Scarves are smoother and silkier and much more seductive... if used in the right way.

[Lott's Bandana]

FWIW... Scarves are smoother and silkier and much more seductive... if used in the right way.

...and damn hard to get the knots out of! So are bandanas...

Perhaps I'll try Tibetan Prayer Flags? Those are awful colorful...I'm calling my Sherpa.

[SoonerGirl06]

A Sherpa? Really? Are those even legal?

The knots in scarves are difficult to undo. That's why having a pair of scissors at the bedside are necessary... in case of an emergency, ya know.
Muffed handcuffs work, but you're SOL if you lose the key. Plus they can really scuff the posters on the bed.



Maybe Lid should try using a few of his silk bowties to hogtie his victims.. I mean his women up. That should really impress them.

[Oldnslo]

The knots in scarves are difficult to undo. That's why having a pair of scissors at the bedside are necessary... in case of an emergency, ya know.
Muffed handcuffs work, but you're SOL if you lose the key. Plus they can really scuff the posters on the bed.


This post makes me happy in my pants.

[Lott's Bandana]

Plus they can really scuff the posters on the bed.


Which posters? Who is on your bed? Are they sponsors? Did they bring scarves? Why wasn't I invited?

I got to 500 today!

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Which posters? Who is on your bed? Are they sponsors? Did they bring scarves? Why wasn't I invited?

I got to 500 today!


I guess you have not received the sponsor gift then yet have ya?

[Lott's Bandana]

One of SG's scarves?

I already have a Sherpa. Dude always gets there ahead of me, but I take all the credit!

[SicEmBaylor]

I guess you have not received the sponsor gift then yet have ya?
Isn't being able to partake in south ovarian banter gift enough?

[Lott's Bandana]

South Ovarian?

That's code for a body part isn't it?

[OUinFLA]

AND.. I haven't done anything incredibly stupid in awhile!


someone has stolen Lid's password.

[r5TPsooner]

get her a promise vibrator




She's been dating a whorn for a few months, so she already owns one probably.

[Lott's Bandana]

It comes in the shape of a horn. Double entendry thingy intended.

[olevetonahill]

Back on subject of lids Gheyness
What hes sayin is he was "Unofficialy" Ghey befor
See he was ambidextrous. Now Hes Official ghey so hes just doing Dexter
:pop:

[SicEmBaylor]

I knew this guy, sort of reminds me of Lid in a lot of ways, who finally swore off women and became "asexual."

[Lott's Bandana]

I knew this guy, sort of reminds me of Lid in a lot of ways, who finally swore off women and became "asexual."

So, that's different from assexual?

:confused:

[SicEmBaylor]

So, that's different from assexual?

:confused:

Well, it's definitely different than being gay.

[goingoneight]

Anyone mention PIITB yet?

[OKC-SLC]

Anyone mention PIITB yet?
I will refer the reader to post #63. I'm classy that way.

[olevetonahill]

I knew this guy, sort of reminds me of Lid in a lot of ways, who finally swore off women and became "asexual."
Was his name Sicem ?

[SoonerGirl06]

Are we talking about assexual or asexual?

[olevetonahill]

Are we talking about assexual or asexual?
Its Sicem who in hell Knows what that boy is talkin about .

[SicEmBaylor]

Are we talking about assexual or asexual?
Uhm, "asexual."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

[FirstandGoal]

So I'm gone for a week and I come back to find out that Lid is admitting to being ghey now?

What else happened?

[olevetonahill]

So I'm gone for a week and I come back to find out that Lid is admitting to being ghey now?

What else happened?
My customers House got Blowed up with her Old man init .

[FirstandGoal]

My customers House got Blowed up with her Old man init .


:eek:

Holy carp!

And I thought I had a traumatic week with my son getting his arm broke at school.

[SoonerGirl06]

Uhm, "asexual."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality


A person who is asexual doesn't desire to have sex? They must be hormone deficient in some way.

Sad really. Really sad.

[olevetonahill]

:eek:

Holy carp!

And I thought I had a traumatic week with my son getting his arm broke at school.
You did , Why was he in skool during Christmas week ?

[FirstandGoal]

You did , Why was he in skool during Christmas week ?

check your peems

[olevetonahill]

check your peems
I did ;)

[SoonerObsession]

Wow! This explains Lid's preference for track lighting and his collection of Barbara Streisand records.

[Lott's Bandana]

Yeah, and that Sam Malone stuff...

[Frozen Sooner]

A person who is asexual doesn't desire to have sex? They must be hormone deficient in some way.

Sad really. Really sad.

Yeah. Every girl I've ever dated must have that same hormone deficiency. :mad:

[tommieharris91]

A person who is asexual doesn't desire to have sex? They must be hormone deficient in some way.

Sad really. Really sad.

I think you are describing who you are talking to... :rolleyes:

SicEm: ;)

[TexasLidig8r]

Update..

Lid: "Darlin, it's time we redefined the nature of our association."

Paramour: "You know, I was thinking... rings like that are so juvenile."

Lid: "It would appear this incident is best characterized as fait accompli."

Paramour: [Sliding off silk robe]... "So how do I look in my new bustier and seamed stockings?"

Lid: "Oh my."

The bullet has been dodged. :D

[C&CDean]

Update..

Lid: "Darlin, it's time we redefined the nature of our association."

Paramour: "You know, I was thinking... rings like that are so juvenile."

Lid: "It would appear this incident is best characterized as fait accompli."

Paramour: [Sliding off silk robe]... "So how do I look in my new bustier and seamed stockings?"

Lid: "Oh my."

The bullet has been dodged. :D

Hell, I must be gay too. All them fancy words made me sprout wood.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Whew...thank God I'm back down on base...all this stuff is making me not tell.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Update..

Lid: "Darlin, it's time we redefined the nature of our association."

Paramour: "You know, I was thinking... rings like that are so juvenile."

Lid: "It would appear this incident is best characterized as fait accompli."

Paramour: [Sliding off silk robe]... "So how do I look in my new bustier and seamed stockings?"

Lid: "It puts the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose again."

The bullet has been dodged. :D

Fixed.

[Mixer!]

Hell, I must be gay too. All them fancy words made me sprout wood.

SIG OF THE YEAR! :D

[Viking Kitten]

I'd like to thank this thread for exploring new and previously undiscovered dimensions of creepiness.

Thank you, this thread.

[soonerbrat]

you're welcome

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Okay, my okie hillbillie nephew who is 19 and "in love" gave his girl a promise promise ring. I didn't think anyone outside of their teens gave promise rings...

[Lott's Bandana]

Update..

Lid: "Darlin, it's time we redefined the nature of our association."

Paramour: "You know, I was thinking... rings like that are so juvenile."

Lid: "It would appear this incident is best characterized as fait accompli."

Paramour: [Sliding off silk robe]... "So how do I look in my new bustier and seamed stockings?"

Lid: "Oh my."

The bullet has been dodged. :D



Paramour? Isn't that redheaded girl like....17? He goes from Homes to Ped in one single thread! :eek:

She does have a good voice tho.

[Desert Sapper]

Still no pics. Pffffft. :rolleyes:

[stoopified]

Should of gone shopping in Paris,France not Paris,Texas.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Lid: "Blah blah blah, blah blah."

Paramour: "I like cheese!"

Lid: "Blah blah blah, I wear silk panties, blah blah."

Paramour: [Sliding off silk robe]... "I like puppies!"

Lid: "Oh my."

The bullet has been dodged.

Fixed again.

Give 'em hell, Lid!