New Research Shows Staring At Boobs Will Extend Your Life

[VeeJay]

10 Minutes A Day Is All It Takes (http://news.softpedia.com/news/10-Minutes-Of-Staring-Boobs-Daily-Prolongs-Man-039-s-Life-by-5-Years-72490.shtml)

A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.


The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

[soonerbrat]

:rolleyes:

[Jerk]

:rolleyes:

Can ya help a brotha out? :D

[frankensooner]

Unless your wife catches you, and that is sure to shorten your life.

[KHS Sooner]

Can ya help a brotha out? :D

:D

[VeeJay]

:rolleyes:

I ran this research by my assistant today and that's exactly the response I got. She laughed aloud at me.

Danged boob possessors.

[Viking Kitten]

I wonder if there is some sort of Laffer Curve of optimal boob size efficiency. Perhaps small boobs are less ineffective, but maybe if they are too big, it can actually increase a dude's blood's pressure. Who wants to volunteer for that study?

[IB4OU2]

I'll live to be a hundred and ten.

[PhilTLL]

I really, really hate to be the party pooper (lol poop) on this one:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp

[HskrGrl]

I wonder if there is some sort of Laffer Curve of optimal boob size efficiency. Perhaps small boobs are less ineffective, but maybe if they are too big, it can actually increase a dude's blood's pressure. Who wants to volunteer for that study?

To add to that I wonder if it only applies to female boobs. What if the same men were to stare at manboobs would they have the same effect on his life span?

[Howzit]

I wonder if there is some sort of Laffer Curve of optimal boob size efficiency. Perhaps small boobs are less ineffective, but maybe if they are too big, it can actually increase a dude's blood's pressure. Who wants to volunteer for that study?


A Norwegian scientest known as Tet Knipfler conducted a study (referred to as the Knipfler report) that demonstrated this effect is boosted in colder climes.

Probably.

[Howzit]

I really, really hate to be the party pooper (lol poop) on this one: http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp

They obviously missed the Knipfler report.

[crawfish]

That's not the only thing it will extend.

[Viking Kitten]

A Norwegian scientest known as Tet Knipfler conducted a study (referred to as the Knipfler report) that demonstrated this effect is boosted in colder climes.

Probably.

Ah yes. Dr. Knipfler. His work is well supported.

[IB4OU2]

A Norwegian scientest known as Tet Knipfler conducted a study (referred to as the Knipfler report) that demonstrated this effect is boosted in colder climes.

Probably.

Probably?...I know there's some pretty hard evidence to the effect.

[Widescreen]

I'd like to find out how they made sure their control group didn't routinely look at chicks' b00bs during those 5 years. That alone should've screamed hoax.

[M]

If I stare at my bewbs in the mirror for 10 minutes a day, will it have the same effect?

[Viking Kitten]

If I stare at my bewbs in the mirror for 10 minutes a day, will it have the same effect?

This calls for another study. In fact, you should ice one of them down and not look at the other one. We'll call that the control boob.

[M]

This calls for another study. In fact, you should ice one of them down and not look at the other one. We'll call that the control boob.

What if icing one of them down inadvertently gets both of them cold?

[Viking Kitten]

Then you should be ashamed of your sloppy research skills.

[Tiptonsooner]

What if icing one of them down inadvertently gets both of them cold?


Do you need a volunteer to verify temp differences??:hot:

[Jerk]

This is the best thread ever!!!

[Viking Kitten]

Do you need a volunteer to verify temp differences??:hot:
This is scientific research, not your junior prom, pal.

[critical_phil]

A Norwegian scientest known as Tet Knipfler conducted a study (referred to as the Knipfler report) that demonstrated this effect is boosted in colder climes.

Probably.



Dr. M. Ammary of Vanderbilt backed up that research in 2004. Like Knipfler et al, he was able to show an marked increase in raisin consumption among study participants in his famed Frozen Pizza Aisle experiment.

[M]

You know, my office just so happens to be the coldest room in my house. Just an observation.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

You know, my office just so happens to be the coldest room in my house. Just an observation.If you were to move the bucket of ice, which is caressing your control boob, to the nearest out of doors in your proximity, it would allow your office to warm up, no doubt.

[Howzit]

Ah yes. Dr. Knipfler. His work is well supported.
It should be noted that, while Knipfler critics point to the fact that some soft, low-lying data was excluded, the firmer points held excellent statistical correlation.

[Viking Kitten]

One must all note that Knipfler's data are voluminous. Though there seems to be two distinct schools of thought on the body of work as a whole, opinion in fact tends to swing pendulously among the scientific community.

[Widescreen]

We're still talking about bewbs, right? You crazy scientific people and your talk of boob icing and global warming.

[OCUDad]

Was Dr. Knipfler a research partner of Dr. Otto Titzling, inventor of the brassiere?

[VeeJay]

It may also be noted that Dr. Knipfler also taught at Carnegie and Mellon.

[Howzit]

Dr. M. Ammary of Vanderbilt backed up that research in 2004. Like Knipfler et al, he was able to show an marked increase in raisin consumption among study participants in his famed Frozen Pizza Aisle experiment.

Yeeessss...as I remember, Professor H. I. Beamer of Flower Mound, Texas had parallel studies that offered a titillating glimpse of this very phenomenon.

[VeeJay]

The late, world renowned Nepalese medical researcher Dr. Wami Sla'mee B'soom also contributed to this field of study.

[soonerbrat]

again. :rolleyes:

[Okla-homey]

Don't forget foundation laying 19th century research conducted by Prof. Titus VonGrabben at the University of Frankfurt. His double-blind studies of the longevity inducing effects of regular udder handling on centenarian Bavarian dairy goat shepherds is still considered the seminal work in the field.

[Viking Kitten]

Nor must we neglect the work of pioneering female researcher Dr. Pearl Negeliss from the University of Johannesburg. Her studies of the application of various topical solutions were indeed a breakthrough.

[M]

Some of the newest research on this topic was done by Madame Arie Ola, who discovered that a motorboat anywhere in the vicinity will always perk up the results.

[IB4OU2]

Please note flag note #6 stating- #6-When the test samples are not in use they should be covered with a cashmere sweater and not housed in a restraining fixture.

[achiro]

I like boobs.

[Sooner_Bob]

This is the breast thread ever!!!


Fixed

[OCUDad]

Some of my breast friends are boobs.

[crawfish]

http://www.galapagos.org/photos/Images/boobies.hansliu.jpg

I don't feel any different...

[achiro]

Those are boobIES, these are boobs(not the kind I like though)
http://a.abcnews.com/images/Sports/nm_callahan_weiss_071108_ms.jpg

[tulsaoilerfan]

3 pages and no one has said the magic words yet-TTIWWP.

(The above 2 threads don't count) :)

[sanantoniosooner]

Thanks for the mammaries.

[SoonerTerry]

Anita Volunteer....













REally

[The Ghost of Joe Morrison]

How old did Moses live to be? I bet I give him a run for the money!

[Okla-homey]

If the conclusions of the research are accurate, keep this handy because staring at it could make a man live forever.

NSW;

http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/6093/733977393fullyk5.gif

[Jerk]

If the conclusions of the research are accurate, keep this handy becasue staring at it could make a man live forever.

NSW;

http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/6093/733977393fullyk5.gif


Wow! I'm immortal now. Is she jumping up and down on a pogo stick?

[Okla-homey]

Wow! I'm immortal now. Is she jumping up and down on a pogo stick?

Dunno. But I think they're real because you don't see the outline of a saline envelope cycling around inside.