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View Full Version : My reiew of Hitman



Frozen Sooner
11/24/2007, 05:15 AM
OK, I wasn't expecting anything like cinematic genius or anything. I went in to this movie with pretty low expectations.

This movie disgusted me.

No, it wasn't especially gory. It wasn't excessively violent knowing what it was going it.

It was, however, horrifyingly misogynistic.

Don't read further if you don't want to be kind of spoiled:

Agent 47 (Male lead-you can tell it's going to be good when the main character's name is a number :rolleyes:) kidnaps a woman who is being held as a sex slave by the President of Russia. It's kidnapping, not a rescue-he doesn't know that she's a slave, and she isn't going willingly.

He stuffs her in the trunk of an admittedly pretty sweet Audi with the corpse of her driver.

FOR SEVERAL HOURS.

Finally, he pulls her out of the trunk and tosses her a sandwich for breakfast. While she eats the sandwich, she says "I'd thank you if I wasn't so mad for tossing me in the trunk." She then proceeds to make doe eyes at him while he gets some sleep. In a car. With the girl he's just kidnapped RIGHT NEXT TO HIM AND UNBOUND.

With no real explanation given, this kidnapped woman (Nika) keeps trying to have sex with Agent 47. He buys her a dress-for which she says "Wow, you're really charming when you're not killing people." Or stuffing them in trunks, apparently.

Finally, after he leaves her in a restaurant with no explanation to go kill several people, he then yanks her out of the place violently and they return to the hotel. Where she attempts (again) to screw his brains out. He finally escapes her by jamming a hypo full of sedatives into her neck.

Strangely, when she wakes up, she's not upset in the slightest.

Basically, this dude treats this woman like complete crap for the whole movie, and her response is to throw herself at him.

sanantoniosooner
11/24/2007, 09:35 AM
Basically, this dude treats this woman like complete crap for the whole movie, and her response is to throw herself at him.Sounds like a documentary about Sic'em on this board.

Widescreen
11/24/2007, 10:57 AM
With no real explanation given, this kidnapped woman (Nika) keeps trying to have sex with Agent 47. He buys her a dress-for which she says "Wow, you're really charming when you're not killing people." Or stuffing them in trunks, apparently
2 words.

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME.

See? It was a lot more psychologically complicated than you were giving it credit for. ;)

sooner_born_1960
11/24/2007, 11:01 AM
Mike, putting your disgust aside for a minute, was it otherwise a good movie?

KC//CRIMSON
11/24/2007, 12:29 PM
You should have went and saw NCFOM. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from writing how bad *ss it was and stuff.

Frozen Sooner
11/24/2007, 12:41 PM
Mike, putting your disgust aside for a minute, was it otherwise a good movie?

There really wasn't much there to like or dislike. Some of the fight scenes were kind of cool, I guess.

Frozen Sooner
11/24/2007, 12:42 PM
You should have went and saw NCFOM. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from writing how bad *ss it was and stuff.

I wanted to, but my friends wanted to go see Hitman.

Veritas
11/24/2007, 01:18 PM
Basically, this dude treats this woman like complete crap, and her response is to throw herself at him.
Fixed to reflect standard female behavior.

jeremy885
11/24/2007, 02:03 PM
Fixed to reflect standard female behavior.

yep. Had an ex who was still ga-ga for a guy even after she found out that he gave her anal warts and he had dumped her to move on to the next victim.

Women can be really stupid at times.

Mongo
11/24/2007, 02:18 PM
yep. Had an ex who was still ga-ga for a guy even after she found out that he gave her anal warts and he had dumped her to move on to the next victim.

Women can be really stupid at times.


how are your genital warts doing?

jeremy885
11/24/2007, 02:20 PM
not bad and yours?

Mongo
11/24/2007, 02:23 PM
couple of flair ups here and there. The wife totally believed me when I told her i got it from riding the stationary bike at the gym

PrideTrombone
11/25/2007, 02:03 AM
Basically, this dude treats this woman like complete crap for the whole movie, and her response is to throw herself at him.

Sounds pretty realistic to me.

proud gonzo
11/25/2007, 02:07 AM
I haven't read any of this thread yet, but I'm curious. Exactly what is a "reiew"?

Frozen Sooner
11/25/2007, 02:18 AM
It's like a review, but the movie is so crappy it doesn't even merit something that LOOKS kinda like metal horns. So no v.

stoops the eternal pimp
11/25/2007, 05:30 PM
Wasn't this a video game first?

Only movie I like based on a VG is Resident Evil

achiro
11/25/2007, 05:34 PM
Wasn't this a video game first?

Only movie I like based on a VG is Resident Evil
Yes, it is a video game. The movie sounds like a good representation of the game to me.

goingoneight
11/25/2007, 10:02 PM
As much as I like war-type video games, I just can't get into the fact that they made a Hitman movie. I see the commercial and I think to myself automatically that I'd rather go buy a cheeseburger combo that will put me one step closer to a heart attack. I don't know why... I'm just not interested. Then again, the last movie I saw in a theater was sometime back in 2004. I was given some free movie passes and my brother and his gf took 'em.

I wait until I can see it in a rental store or buy it.

^^^ Having said that... the "Chuck and Larry" DVD was hilarious. Still waiting for "SuperBad" to hit the video stores.

william_brasky
11/26/2007, 12:23 AM
how are your genital warts doing?


not bad and yours?

now that's some good stuff right there :texan: