saw something that broke my heart today

[usmc-sooner]

I pulled in to get gas, went in to pay. I was standing in line behind a very poor family. The mother is buying the combo pack of the cheapest cigarettes, the dad is buying a 20 pack of Miller Lite bottles. They had 2 little girls probably between the ages of 3-5. One of the little girls had an eye patch. They were 2 of the cutest kids you'd ever see. They were dressed so poorly. They were asking their parents for some candy. The parents were getting onto the kids telling them to put the candy back. One of the kids bumped into me, the dad told the girl to tell me she was sorry. I told her it was ok, I just looked at the dad with hatred and empathy. I wanted to grab those little girls and take them home with me, give them a hug, buy them some candy
Here I am later, and this still bothers me.

[Curly Bill]

I hear ya, and I hate seeing stuff like that too, but it's like what can ya do?

...but the dad does have good taste in beer. Maybe should have kept the beer, exchanged the cigs for the candy.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Seems like I see that stuff too many times.

[jwlynn64]

Hard to make a judgment call.

Those two kids might have a butt load of quality time with the parents who might love their kids to death (smoking sucks around kids I know but....) Maybe the parents had the day off and just didn't spend much time getting the kids around. They might have also just spend the night in the emergency room?

By the same token, you might have been behind a family who took their kids out and got them good and sugared up, took them home, sat them in front of a TV and went off to another part of the house and got liquored up. In that case you wouldn't have been worried about the kids would you.

I guess what I am trying to say in my rambling, not very on point post is: Try not to make judgments because you just really don't know. All you can do is pray that those kids are in a loving home (humble though it might be).

[Curly Bill]

Good post there jwlynn64.

[jwlynn64]

Thanks. Just had my first kid a little over three years ago. Having them can change your perspective.

[goingoneight]

I saw a woman dragging her daughter (prolly about 3) by the arm into QT a few months back. The poor girl was wearing a shirt that looked like it was a XL men's 'TU' shirt with holes and dirt all over it. The little girl told her mother her arm hurt and she blatantly told her to "shut the hell up."

Mother goes up to the counter and buys a drink... not for her daughter, but for herself. She also buys three of those scratchy lottery tickets and shortchanges the cashier. I'm a regular at this particular QT, so I know the cashier and he says 'whatever' as far as the fifty cents or whatever, and looked at her in disgust.

I drove to work. On my way to lunch, four hours later... they were about five miles up the road just walking out in the heat of the day.

Mother = no car, apparently no job... and refused to buy her child a drink in Oklahoma summer heat so she could chance it on a few lottery tickets.

It almost makes you feel like a bad person for NOT taking the kid away from them.

For the record... when I see people asking for change or gas money, whatever... I usually don't give in unless it's evident that they DO need it. Like if there's a kid with them and they need lunch.

[usmc-sooner]

Hard to make a judgment call.

Those two kids might have a butt load of quality time with the parents who might love their kids to death (smoking sucks around kids I know but....) Maybe the parents had the day off and just didn't spend much time getting the kids around. They might have also just spend the night in the emergency room?

By the same token, you might have been behind a family who took their kids out and got them good and sugared up, took them home, sat them in front of a TV and went off to another part of the house and got liquored up. In that case you wouldn't have been worried about the kids would you.

I guess what I am trying to say in my rambling, not very on point post is: Try not to make judgments because you just really don't know. All you can do is pray that those kids are in a loving home (humble though it might be).

the parents looked like meth heads, they got into a van with Utah plates. These kids were dressed in clothes that didn't fit. The parents and the kids were dirty, they hadn't bathed in a while, there clothes hadn't been washed, their hair wasn't combed. I don't just go around making judgement calls on people who smoke and drink beer. I've got kids. If something didn't strike me as wrong I wouldn't have let it bother me.

[OUHOMER]

I hear ya. I was at a buffet place one time, i was in line filling my plate when a mom and her kid right beside me. The kid asked a reasonable question, the mother said " are you stupid". I turn and looked her right in the eye, didnt say a word. She then answered the question, tucked her head and left the line.

I was ****ed, some folks shouldnt have kids

[MamaMia]

Quite frankly, I don't think there is any excuse for spending your money on cigarettes and beer when your children need clothes.

[usmc-sooner]

Quite frankly, I don't think there is any excuse for spending your money on cigarettes and beer when your children need clothes.
that's how I felt, heck the parents needed clothes. It looked like they had a lot of stuff in that van, I think they might have been living in it. For what they paid for beer and cigerettes, they could've went to a laundry mat, got some clothes at Wal-Mart, got food. You don't have to be high end just be clean.

[TMcGee86]

and Miller Lite bottles??


Sounds like that dad was a real *** hat. Makes his wife smoke the bargin brand (however dont get me started on how much I despise smoking in general) makes his kids go without clean clothes and wont even spring for candy, and yet he's buying a 20 pack of bottles.

***.

[Hot Rod]

Breaks my heart as well. I hate hearing or seeing stuff like this, because you know that the child is completely clueless and doesn't understand.

Parents...make sure you love your kids. The time goes by so fast.

[RacerX]

From the movie Parenthood, which I believe is brilliant. It and She's Having a Baby are just excellent representations of life.

You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming ******* be a father.

-Tod

[mdklatt]

If you ever want a job where you see stuff like this on a daily basis, pizza delivery is for you.

[sooner_born_1960]

and Miller Lite bottles??


Sounds like that dad was a real *** hat. Makes his wife smoke the bargin brand (however dont get me started on how much I despise smoking in general) makes his kids go without clean clothes and wont even spring for candy, and yet he's buying a 20 pack of bottles.

***.
He's saving a buck or two. The bottles are on sale.

[Okieflyer]

It would have made me feel a little better if you had said it was "Milwaulkee's Best" he had to save a buck or two.:rolleyes:

[jwlynn64]

Wasn't trying to say that you don't have good instincts USMC-Sooner. Just wanted to point out that things aren't always what they seem.

I would rather have a kid live with loving parents who aren't too great on the personal hygiene than to live with uncaring or flat out mean parents who are clean and professional looking.

As for the parents in question, I defer to your judgment.

[GrapevineSooner]

and Miller Lite bottles??


Sounds like that dad was a real *** hat. Makes his wife smoke the bargin brand (however dont get me started on how much I despise smoking in general) makes his kids go without clean clothes and wont even spring for candy, and yet he's buying a 20 pack of bottles.

***.

And $20 says she probably lit up as soon as she closed the door on the van.

With her kids being forced to inhale that crap.

I generally opposed public smoking ordinances and will also agree that your vehicle is your property. But I think any parent that lights up with a child in the same vehicle as them is an a**hole.

[Curly Bill]

And $20 says she probably lit up as soon as she closed the door on the van.

What are the odds on dad popping the top on one of them beers as soon as he got in the van? :eek:

[GrapevineSooner]

I shudder to think.

[bonkuba]

I know what I say her may seem cold...but believe me I am not. I have two small (4 and 1) children and would die in a second for them.

I typically NEVER give money to anyone that comes to me requesting it (I own a store so I get it a lot). What I will do is ask them what they need (i.e. food, gas, etc). If they say "No, just the money"......I ask them to leave. If they have a child I give them a soda out of the store machine and candy if I have it.

I am only 37 but I feel like there is more and more of what has been posted in this thread and it makes me sick to my stomach and actually I do cry for each and every one of those kids having to get back into a smoke filled car............

Thanks for letting me share.....I feel a little better now.

Sean

[Curly Bill]

Sounds good to me Sean, I wouldn't give money either. Sounds like you are being more then generous.

[OklahomaRed]

Wasn't trying to say that you don't have good instincts USMC-Sooner. Just wanted to point out that things aren't always what they seem.

I would rather have a kid live with loving parents who aren't too great on the personal hygiene than to live with uncaring or flat out mean parents who are clean and professional looking.

As for the parents in question, I defer to your judgment.

I hear what you are saying. If parents don't have money, smoke, and drink a few beers they are not bad parents. I agree; however, if they can't keep their kids in clean clothes (don't have to be new), and keep their hair combed, then you start worrying. Priorities. If you are going to have kids, then they should be your #1 priority.

[OCUDad]

I'm with usmc-sooner on this one. Maybe I ought to have my head examined. :)

I agree things aren't always what they seem. But more often than not, they are what they seem. Smoking and drinking aren't a crime, but neglecting your kids in favor of smoking and drinking ought to be a crime.

I've seen more than my share of parents who seem to have figured out how to have kids, but not how to be parents. You don't have to have money to teach your kids self-respect. You don't have to be rich to praise your kids in public but criticize them in private. You don't have to be wealthy to be clean. What bothers me most is the nagging feeling that parents like the ones usmc-sooner saw are bringing up their kids in their own image - years from now those kids are going to be parents, and someone else will be making the same observations about them that usmc-sooner made about their parents.

OK, so I'm a stuffy and traditionalist old fart - but I've often seen the same situation as usmc-sooner observed, and I have the same reaction. Sorry if I'm misjudging the minority of those parents who are actually well-meaning. In my experience, most such parents are just what they appear to be - bad parents. And the kids suffer.