anatomy of a meltdown thread

[sanantoniosooner]

What kinds of things should you address in a really good meltdown thread?

[TopDaugIn2000]

go to orangepower.com, that place is full of good examples. :P

[Mongo]

Is this a plea for help? Are things really that bad?

[stoops the eternal pimp]

media

[TexasSooner01]

politics

[OUDoc]

Pointing out that you're much more successful in "real life" than you are in "board life".

[handcrafted]

any good meltdown thread must begin with two words: "bad playcalling"

[frankensooner]

You have to state how rich you are and better than everyone else someplace in it. I'm pretty sure that is a cardinal rule.

[mdklatt]

What kinds of things should you address in a really good meltdown thread?

Courtney Paris

[handcrafted]

Paris Hilton

Better yet, Paris Hilton-Britney Spears slash fic. That'll cause a meltdown.

[Curly Bill]

How it's not your fault...it's a societal problem.

[colleyvillesooner]

CAlling out another poster's Mom in a poll usually works. ;)

[SicEmBaylor]

The amount of positive spek you've accumulated.

[Fugue]

other people's ugly kids

[OUDoc]

Courtney Paris
Highly underutilized argument, IMO.

BTW, I make more money than Courtney Paris. ;)

[stoops the eternal pimp]

kids today

[mdklatt]

BTW, I make more money than Courtney Paris. ;)

For another couple of years, maybe...the WNBA still exists, right?

[Mongo]

favoritism/mod behavior is always classic

throw in how you could kick someone's *** in a real fight

[OUDoc]

For another couple of years, maybe...the WNBA still exists, right?
Well, yeah, for now I make more. Maybe.:D

[frankensooner]

There is the good, old, somebody stole my password...;)

[stoops the eternal pimp]

being negged without a sig

[KABOOKIE]

Threaten to move to Canada and then puss out.

[StoopTroup]

I think a good Union Strike can be an excellent source for good melts.

[KABOOKIE]

You could always go to the IT thread or one of those testing area post and cry like a little bitch.

[TexasSooner01]

Only showing 8 episodes of Season 4 of LOST then a hiatus of a year and two months before Season 5 starts because of the strike.

:mad: :mad:

[Osce0la]

Best way to start a meltdown thread:

"Who would win: Soonerus and Catfish vs. OleVet"

[KC//CRIMSON]

flash floods.

[SleestakSooner]

You have to state how rich you are and better than everyone else someplace in it. I'm pretty sure that is a cardinal rule.

I knew I was missing an important ingredient!:D

[critical_phil]

mention which mods you think are dicks.


which, of course, is all of them.

[SoonerGirl06]

Isn't that a way to get baned?

[frankensooner]

Meltdown usually leads to baning anyhow. Might as well go out with a bang. ;)

[SoonerGirl06]

Ahhh yes. The best way to go out is definately with a bang.

[Veritas]

How To Melt Down A Thread
- As told to Veritas by an anonymous SF.com poster. Or as Veritas imagines he would be told.


Find a thread with posters that you know you can work.
Make a few rational on-topic posts.
Wait for someone to disagree with you.
Respond to one of their posts, claiming that they couldn't possibly understand the issue as well as you do. Make sure you don't back up your statements with facts. At all.
Rebut the inevitable response with a reference to a) who you know and why that makes you smarter and better, b) what you've done and why that makes you smarter and better, or c) pretty much anything you can dream up, as long as it makes you smarter and better.
Neg them and leave a really snotty comment.
Whine when you get negged back.
Post report that you're getting picked on.
Repeat #8 until one of the mod's gets ****ed off and locks the thread.

[Veritas]

mention which mods you think are dicks.


which, of course, is all of them.
That's how we get to be mods in the first place, dumbass.

[handcrafted]

That's how we get to be mods in the first place, dumbass.

That's Dumas to you.

[Veritas]

That's Dumas to you.
Best. Ad. Evar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMe3WDmxBEI

[handcrafted]

How To Melt Down A Thread
- As told to Veritas by an anonymous SF.com poster. Or as Veritas imagines he would be told.


Find a thread with posters that you know you can work.
Make a few rational on-topic posts.
Wait for someone to disagree with you.
Respond to one of their posts, claiming that they couldn't possibly understand the issue as well as you do. Make sure you don't back up your statements with facts. At all.
Rebut the inevitable response with a reference to a) who you know and why that makes you smarter and better, b) what you've done and why that makes you smarter and better, or c) pretty much anything you can dream up, as long as it makes you smarter and better.
Neg them and leave a really snotty comment.
Whine when you get negged back.
Post report that you're getting picked on.
Repeat #8 until one of the mod's gets ****ed off and locks the thread.


Hey, I only did numbers 5 and 8...

[Scott D]

How To Melt Down A Thread
- As told to Veritas by an anonymous SF.com poster. Or as Veritas imagines he would be told.


Find a thread with posters that you know you can work.
Make a few rational on-topic posts.
Wait for someone to disagree with you.
Respond to one of their posts, claiming that they couldn't possibly understand the issue as well as you do. Make sure you don't back up your statements with facts. At all.
Rebut the inevitable response with a reference to a) who you know and why that makes you smarter and better, b) what you've done and why that makes you smarter and better, or c) pretty much anything you can dream up, as long as it makes you smarter and better.
Neg them and leave a really snotty comment.
Whine when you get negged back.
Post report that you're getting picked on.
Repeat #8 until one of the mod's gets ****ed off and locks the thread.


Oh I think I can come up with a better way to have such an absolute meltdown that it'd put a combination of Bruce/Thunder/Stanley/GDC to shame.

[frankensooner]

Oh I think I can come up with a better way to have such an absolute meltdown that it'd put a combination of Bruce/Thunder/Stanley/GDC to shame.
Does it involve dirty spek?

[Veritas]

Oh I think I can come up with a better way to have such an absolute meltdown that it'd put a combination of Bruce/Thunder/Stanley/GDC to shame.
Don't forget John Helander.

[handcrafted]

The spek comments are starting to become very disturbing...

[Scott D]

Don't forget John Helander.

See, I don't think Helander's meltdown was that massive. It was short, concise, and broadcast in every forum on the board. It's the 30 minute sitcom of meltdowns. You have to strive for the epic 3 hour Gone With The Wind meltdown that people want to watch 30 years later, and some bastard like Ted Turner colorizes 50 years from now.

[Scott D]

The spek comments are starting to become very disturbing...

I agree, you really should quit telling me what Taco Bell is putting in their burritos.

[Veritas]

See, I don't think Helander's meltdown was that massive. It was short, concise, and broadcast in every forum on the board. It's the 30 minute sitcom of meltdowns. You have to strive for the epic 3 hour Gone With The Wind meltdown that people want to watch 30 years later, and some bastard like Ted Turner colorizes 50 years from now.
It wasn't massive, but it was the pound for pound winner. I wasn't around for Stanleys. :(

[handcrafted]

Oh I think I can come up with a better way to have such an absolute meltdown that it'd put a combination of Bruce/Thunder/Stanley/GDC to shame.

Forget those losers, just put NickZep into the thread.

Or alternatively, just provide logical disagreement to insane Hellary-loving left coast liberal Hollywood types, then watch them a$$plode. :D

[Scott D]

I don't know...Stanley's massed over 2 very long threads in both the South Oval and Sponsors Forum....I'd definitely rank it up there, and so would Courtney Paris.

[royalfan5]

Stanley's was by far my favorite.

[CatHunter]

It wasn't massive, but it was the pound for pound winner. I wasn't around for Stanleys. :(

I am with Vera-toss with this one. I still have dreams about that one!

[JohnnyMack]

other people's ugly kids

:mad:



;)

[Scott D]

other people's ugly kids

or hoping that a poster and a mod mate and produce a three headed satan spawn with forked tongues and poisonous fangs.

[sanantoniosooner]

So far Veritas has done the best job.

I wasn't looking for a single item. I was looking for a structured approach. Either a flow chart, outline, or map of some kind.

I don't want to leave anything out.

[mdklatt]

Johhnie's Charcoal Burger sucks ever harder than Mr Goodcents.


That'll do it.

:pop:

[r5TPsooner]

What kinds of things should you address in a really good meltdown thread?


grammar
education level
doing someone's mother/sister/wife
CDIAB

[1stTimeCaller]

you also need to mention the length of time you have been posting on this board and it's variants over the years.

[tommieharris91]

On the football board, it must be something like FIRE ALL THE PLAYERZ!!1!

Here, well I am a n00b on this forum. The only thing that I would say is that it needs to have something to do with being a male maid-of-honor at your ex-girlfriend's wedding.

[handcrafted]

Say that Scarlett Johansson isn't hot. That will do it too. :D

[Mongo]

call everybody a bunch off *******s in your ****ed off rantings, then remind everyone how much you really dont give a ****

[StoopTroup]

Are there any odds in the SportsBook Forum whether this thread will actually meltdown?

[soonerboomer93]

Don't forget, the Final act is improved if you use Godwin's Law

[sanantoniosooner]

Don't forget, the Final act is improved if you use Godwin's Law
excellent point.

I may have a rough draft by next weekend.

[mdklatt]

Say that Scarlett Johansson isn't hot. That will do it too. :D

Well, she's not that hot.


:pop:

[Soonerus]

What is a "meltdown" ???

[Veritas]

Well, she's not that hot.


:pop:
You'd better be kidding, buddy!!!!11111

[mdklatt]

You'd better be kidding, buddy!!!!11111

Pouty is just not my thing.

[KC//CRIMSON]

You'd better be kidding, buddy!!!!11111

Maybe if your lucky she will give you one of her wisdom teeth covered in gold. Chick is a freak.

[tommieharris91]

What is a "meltdown" ???

When you start 10 threads a night instead of 5.

[handcrafted]

call everybody a bunch off *******s in your ****ed off rantings, then remind everyone how much you really dont give a ****

Mom?
:cool:

[Newbomb Turk]

anatomy of a deleted thread.

[sanantoniosooner]

thanks handcrafted.

like I don't have enough deleted threads as it is.

[handcrafted]

thanks handcrafted.

like I don't have enough deleted threads as it is.

Well it wouldn't do to have a meltdown thread without a meltdown, now would it? :D

Srsly. If you've got deleted threads, that's not MY problem. I've only had 3 deleted that I can remember.

[sanantoniosooner]

Well it wouldn't do to have a meltdown thread without a meltdown, now would it? :D

Srsly. If you've got deleted threads, that's not MY problem. I've only had 3 deleted that I can remember.
Sounds like you need a break.

[StoopTroup]

Maybe there should be a meltdown Forum so Mods can just move the thread instead of deleting it. :D ;)

[handcrafted]

Maybe there should be a meltdown Forum so Mods can just move the thread instead of deleting it. :D ;)

What a capital idea!

[critical_phil]

capital ideas will not be tolerated.

[Newbomb Turk]

capital ideas will not be tolerated.

what about capitol ideas?

[StoopTroup]

Well...that didn't take long.

Nice job handyman.

HIGH FIVE ! ! ! :D

http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~kel/pics/HandyMan.jpg

[sanantoniosooner]

Back to the original topic.

I'm interested in visiting the structure of a "goodbye" post......like the Helander model. What ingredients make a quality "screw you guys, I'm going home"?

[Blue]

1. Get shi-t faced.

2. Come home and put on some jams.

3. Get on-line.

4. Find a post that ****es yo drunk *** off.

5. Insult the culprits mother/sexuality/fanhood

6. wake up and deal with your week-long ban.

YWIA

[jk the sooner fan]

#11. Wait until the mods pretend that they dont play games with posters, and then react accordingly

;)

[critical_phil]

#11. Wait until the mods pretend that they dont play games with posters, and then react accordingly

;)


saved by the winkie.


#12. mention that you've not renewed your sponsorship because of the recent abuse of super mod powers.

[1stTimeCaller]

#13. Grow a mustache

[SleestakSooner]

saved by the winkie.


#12. mention that you've not begun your sponsorship because of the constant abuse of super mod powers.

fixed ;)

[jk the sooner fan]

saved by the winkie.


#12. mention that you've not renewed your sponsorship because of the recent abuse of super mod powers.

gosh if only that were accurate

[critical_phil]

gosh if only that were accurate

the winkie part or the sponsorship part?


if it's a lack of funds, you might PM 1TC. that mother****er's dropping hamiltons like he's aaron burr.

[jk the sooner fan]

all his money is tied up in hookers

[SoonerBorn68]

1TC's tying up hookers? :eek: