Christmas Gift Ideas for Kids

[Hot Rod]

I know it's getting closer and closer to that season and I'm already dreading what to get the kids. They pretty much have everything that they need, so do some of you know what you are already getting your children? I honestly can't think of what to get....And no, I'm not naming a star after them.

[usmc-sooner]

semi automatic rifles

[OUDoc]

Lead Paint by Numbers?

[Hamhock]

cat-o-nine tails

[royalfan5]

A case of Miller High Life and a quart of Early Times whiskey.

[JohnnyMack]

I'm getting my son a copy of The War on DVD. I'll take good care of it until he's old enough to watch it.

[frankensooner]

What about the old stand-bys? Lumps of Coal, Bundles of switches. Got to keep those kids warm this winter.

[Widescreen]

Two Words: Irwin Mainway

Bag O' Glass
Bag O' Vipers
Bag O' Sulfuric Acid
Mr. Skin Grafter
Pretty Peggy's Ear Piercing Kit
Doggy Dentist
Chancellor Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit
Johnny Switchblade Adventure Punk
Chainsaw Teddybear

And for Halloween:
"Invisible Pedestrian" - which has a warning on the package that reads "NOT FOR BLIND KIDS"
"Johnny Space Commander Mask" - an airtight plastic bag that is to be affixed over the head with a rubber band
"Johnny Human Torch" - oil-soaked costume which comes complete with an oversized lighter


Then there are these:
http://www.radarmagazine.com/features/2006/12/toys.php

including my personal favorite
http://www.radarmagazine.com/features/images/2006/12/JOHNNY-REB-CANNON.jpg


The South did rise again, at least during playtime for the owners of the Johnny Reb, a 30-inch "authentic civil war" cannon draped in the confederate flag. The Reb fired hard, plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanism—the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth, or through a slave's window.

For only $11.98, young rebels got a cannon, six cannon balls, a ramrod, and a rebel flag. What better way to permanently maim your little brother while spreading valuable lessons about states' rights?

[badger]

I know it's getting closer and closer to that season and I'm already dreading what to get the kids. They pretty much have everything that they need, so do some of you know what you are already getting your children? I honestly can't think of what to get....And no, I'm not naming a star after them.
What do you get for someone that has everything?

Or for someone that can afford everything?

Something they can't buy :)

:cool:

[usmc-sooner]

a donation of $200.00 has been made in your name to the Human Fund

[rufnek05]

http://www.flicklives.com/Glossary/red_ryder/red_ryder_ad.jpg

[Widescreen]

<Obligatory>YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!</Obligatory>

[Hot Rod]

a donation of $200.00 has been made in your name to the Human Fund

It's a Festivus Miracle!

[OUDoc]

Compose a note telling them how much they mean to you. Then give them a great big hug.
That's just asking to eventually be in the world's worst nursing home.

[Widescreen]

Compose a note telling them how much they mean to you. Then give them a great big hug.
Around our house, that wouldn't fly as a Christmas gift.

[Vaevictis]

How about a NAMBLA membership?

[TopDaugIn2000]

A new slide???

http://img126.imageshack.us/img126/8923/slideqh7.jpg

[47straight]

Buy a longhorn and show the kids how a steer is made.

[soonerboomer93]

I don't have kids (that I know of)

I did already by my mom a new dining room table before I left the states