Dear effin hillbillies..

[Triumph]

I guess I'm a loser, it seems I have no good friends anymore what with work, kids and life, so I'm respectfully asking you guys for some advice with my marriage.

I have been with my wife for about ten years, we have one 3 month old son and one 3 year old daughter who are my life.

Let me start by saying that I love my wife. We do fight, and nobody has ever accused us of being the "perfect" couple. We have struggled at time, but neither of us have given up on each other. We have struggled with us both being in school, to just me being in school with a newborn baby, and the usual stuff that goes along with being poor and having kids. Well now, financialy we are doing better than we could have ever imagined. But the problem now is the dreaded mother in law.

My wife is extremely close to my MIL. They are best friends to everything together, always have. My wife and I lived in my MIL's house on two different occasions when we were struggling and deep down I do care for my MIL.

My father in law has Alzheimers. He started getting really bad when my wife and I were living with them. To help my MIL out we decided to buy there house to free up money for my FIL to be put in a home, under the agreement the MIL would help with the bills, help with the kids, and clean out all of her junk so the house we bought could feel like my family's house and get it ready to sell once we have fixed it up a bit. It's a decent house in Edmond, not my cup o tea, but we wouldn't lose money on the deal and it would help out my inlaws so I agreed to do it. Fast forward about 7 months, and the MIL doesn't want to work, clean out her junk(at least to my liking) and it has turned into about 5 knock down drag out fights.

We had another big fight today which started about how the MIL is holding up her part, and she immediately turned the fight into about how all my wife and I do is fight. Now again we're not perfect, and we do fight, but I didn't feel it was the time or place. So I later brought that point up to my wife and she felt her mother was right that we do fight alot. I told my wife that I didn't want to live with MIL if she hated me that much and my wife said that she didn't want my MIL to leave, no matter what.

So I got mad and left and am in a hotel for the night, and my wife says she needs time to think.

Sorry for the novel, but to be honest I don't have a lot of people I can confide in for this. I need some advice.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Sell the house and have MIL find her own place to live. IMO.

[usmc-sooner]

they got to leave to nest sometime. I love my mother with all my heart but I don't want to live with her, and I don't need to see her every day. I think your wife might get the point if you're gone for a while. You know absence makes the heart grow founder.

[SoonerBorn68]

What KC said. Maybe you and your wife should be in the hotel talking this thing out. Having the MIL as a live-in is just a ticking time bomb. When it finally explodes the collateral damage will be your marriage.

[critical_phil]

sorry dood.

i lived w/ my in-laws for about 6 weeks while trying to sell my house back a few years ago. it's an impossible situation, imo, and i'd rent a room at the holiday inn express for 6 weeks before i'd ever do it again.


use this time to reflect on what you really want out of life.....like getting your post count above 1K.

[Mongo]

So I got mad and left and am in a hotel for the night, and my wife says she needs time to think.

First, get your butt home. It is your(you & wifey's) house. No matter how mad a husband gets, it is his domain and his rules and should never leave. Hang out and post here and watch TV, and it sounds like you could use a beer.

Second, I would ask "WTF is there to think about?" to the wife. She should have your back, and not just side with mommy cause she doesnt want to make her "best friend" upset. The bond between husband and wife should be stronger than the bond between parent and child.

My advice: go home with a case of beer or a bottle of whiskey, and as soon as you walk in the front door, unzip the pants and flop out the dong. Show the women who runs the show. Then consume the beer and/or whiskey and post reports on how your grand enterance was accepted.:D

[SOONER STEAKER]

[My advice: go home with a case of beer or a bottle of whiskey, and as soon as you walk in the front door, unzip the pants and flop out the dong. Show the women who runs the show. Then consume the beer and/or whiskey and post reports on how your grand enterance was accepted.:D[/QUOTE]


:pop: :pop: great response!!

[critical_phil]

this also reminds me of a funny story about when mrs. critical kicked me out of the house a few days ago.

when we were younger, we agreed that secks w/ any other person would simply NOT be tolerated. well one night, she kind of let it slip that she thought george clooney was hot. to make her jealous, i told her how deelishus i thought jennifer anniston was. we agreed that, if ever given the chance, it would be o.k. for her to bang clooney or for me to hit the raisin smuggler.

a few days ago, we were talking about this and decided that our little secret secks contract could use a little updating. i asked her who she'd like to change her choice to, and she said ashton kutcher. she asked who i'd like to change my choice to, and i said:







THE NEW CHICK AT WORK.


i keed, i keed.


about being kicked out of the house part.

and the george clooney, jennifer anniston, ashton kutcher part.


srsly, i'm somewhat kidding about the whole deal.

[Mongo]

DELETE!!!! OVER!

[critical_phil]

mrs. critical doesn't read this board.


triumph knows mrs. critical, but he only shows up every few months. plus, he's a fellow member of the Hiney Wipers Guild - so he'll keep a lid on it.

[olevetonahill]

Bro
Go home dont fight . Sell the house asap help the mom an pops out .Which is what your 1st intent was anyway .
Either That or Let MIL stay there till its sold and Find you and family a home !

[OUHOMER]

been married 30 plus years now,lived with my MLI twice. I am sure there are a lot of details that can not be shared in just a words on the internet.... But things to keep in mind.

I bought my house from my parents when my step dad got cancer, it had a little trailer on the corner of the place. my folks move into the trailer until my stepdad died. I bought it and i also laid out a few ground rules...They did not pan out for many reasons.

First of all your MIL and wife are probably going thru one of the toughest times of their lives, basically losing a husband and dad. MIL (like my mom) still considered the place her home ( even tho my mother did not make a payment for a year or better). You may think her stuff is junk and it probably is, but it is her junk that she acquired with her husband and has had for years.

now, you have put tour wife into a situation between two of the most important people in her life YOU AND YOUR MIL.

Dude it all sucks, but your MIL might be going thru depression and I know 7 months seems like a long time but its not.

Again, i dont know all the details but i would say dont sweat the small stuff, let the old sewing machine set in the corner of the garage.

Good luck dude, dont give up,,, these are the times your wife needs you the most.

or i could be all wrong:D

[Triumph]

I want to thank everyone for the comments. Like I said it seems like my good friends and I have grown apart and I don't want to bother them with this right now.

But I appreciate the advice and comments very much.

[olevetonahill]

I think Homer said it best !;)

[StoopTroup]

It's Halloween....

Go home and throw some gasoline on those witches! ;)

[olevetonahill]

It's Halloween....

Go home and throw some gasoline on those witches! ;)
Oh Burn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11:eek: :pop:

[Mongo]

I also have to add that I lived with the inlaws for 6 weeks while their house was being built. We moved our stuff in and they got their stuff out.

Delay after delay on their house's completion made my blood pressure rise, along with the MIL's ability to think she can sit down and take the TV remote. She would change the channel to bull**** like Lifetime, ABC Family, and the Lifetime movie channel.

While she was out, I put a channel block on all those channels to teach her that **** like that was unacceptable on MY television. ****ed her off something awful.

couple of days later, they moved into their 5th wheel

[Stoop Dawg]

been married 30 plus years now,lived with my MLI twice. I am sure there are a lot of details that can not be shared in just a words on the internet.... But things to keep in mind.

I bought my house from my parents when my step dad got cancer, it had a little trailer on the corner of the place. my folks move into the trailer until my stepdad died. I bought it and i also laid out a few ground rules...They did not pan out for many reasons.

First of all your MIL and wife are probably going thru one of the toughest times of their lives, basically losing a husband and dad. MIL (like my mom) still considered the place her home ( even tho my mother did not make a payment for a year or better). You may think her stuff is junk and it probably is, but it is her junk that she acquired with her husband and has had for years.

now, you have put tour wife into a situation between two of the most important people in her life YOU AND YOUR MIL.

Dude it all sucks, but your MIL might be going thru depression and I know 7 months seems like a long time but its not.

Again, i dont know all the details but i would say dont sweat the small stuff, let the old sewing machine set in the corner of the garage.

Good luck dude, dont give up,,, these are the times your wife needs you the most.

or i could be all wrong:D

What s/he said.

Also, sell the house ASAP and get an apt for your MIL. Unfortunately, with the housing market like it is, "ASAP" might be quite a while so you're gonna hafta hang in there.

[frankensooner]

I really like my M-I-L. If I had to live with her, I would pull out the few remaining hairs on my head. In the long run, it might be better for you to clean out the house to your liking, store the crap in a storage locker, Coach Switzer has a place on 164th street, and sell the house. Help her find a nice condo someplace. The End.

Well not really the end, it is none of her beeswax how you and your misses fight. Next time stand your own ground and don't leave.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Well, everyone here is very nice. I used to feel that way.

Then I got railroaded by my ex and her family. What I've learned is there is absolutely nothing wrong in protecting yourself and your wishes. My opinion would be to not let them run over you. It only breeds frustration, bitterness, and contempt. Don't let your home become your prison.

So I would suggest a few things, none of which will make things better in the short term:

1. It's your house. When dear ol' mumsie and your wife head out to go shopping or whatever, clear out all the junk. When wife goes supernova on you, just calmly explain that you had an agreement, and now you are just enforcing it.

2. Don't fight, especially in front of the kids. If you cannot calmly discuss it, go to your neutral corners. If she wants to scream, let her scream. Be bigger than that. Laugh at her. Besides, if you fight out in the open you have witnesses... like dear ol' mumsie. And you know whose side she'd take if you ever did get to D-ville.

3. Don't ever abandon your home for a night at the Super 8, lest you find the locks changed when you get back and a restraining order placed against you because "she is afraid of you" or some such silly nonsense. That happened to a friend of mine, whose wife turned out to be this psycho gold-digger who is on marriage #3. Not that your wife sounds quite like that, but it can happen.

4. Get professional help. We're effin' hillbillies around here and don't no d**k about saving a marriage.

[TUSooner]

I think Homer said it best !;)
That's right (based on the information available).

Unless you'd rather be 100% right and 100% alone.

[Howzit]

You might try leaving turds on your mil's pillow.

Just a thought.

[IB4OU2]

You might try leaving turds on your mil's pillow.

Just a thought.

Honey, Momma said the turd fairy came last night and took her false teeth.

[TexasSooner01]

You might try leaving turds on your mil's pillow.

Just a thought.

or you could pee on her toothbrush!!! :eek:

[soonerboy_odanorth]

or you could pee on her toothbrush!!! :eek:

Ooo! I know... you could place the toothbrush up the dog's kazoo, snap a photo, put the toothbrush back, then leave the photo on the bathroom counter a few days later... That oughta get a reaction! :D