Anyone in Tulsa know a good divorce counselor?

[BudSooner]

I need to see one, the past month has been a rollercoaster and the things with my wife(about to be ex)just got a little harder to deal with.

I just need someone to talk to, and don't know where to turn.

[JohnnyMack]

No.

But Hap Fry and Allen Vaughn are probably the two best divorce lawyers in Town.

I'm not helping, am I?

[jeremy885]

I may need one in McKinney.

[Viking Kitten]

Why do you need tp pay some bozo for advice when you've got all of us South Ovalitos just dying to give it up for free?

[mikeelikee]

Sam Daniel is a bulldog of a divorce lawyer.

[BudSooner]

Thats not the advice I was referring to, more in the way of dealing with the mental pain....anxiety and such.
I've never before experienced a vervous breakdown but this is gotta be pretty close to it, letting go of someone you have spent 16yrs of your life with and to be told maybe we should get a divorce...it sucks to no end.
Just to clarify things, it has to do with depression and seperation.

[Soonerus]

Call John Nicks, his wife is a divorce judge..

[Viking Kitten]

Does your employer offer an EAP?

[BudSooner]

Does your employer offer an EAP?

Not that I know of, i've asked my boss about it and he said he would look into it. he's pretty cool and knows how much stress i'm under.

[Widescreen]

Sucks dude. I'm sorry. I've been married for 16 years too and I can't imagine it all coming crashing down. I'd be in a bad way fo sho.

[BudSooner]

Sucks dude. I'm sorry. I've been married for 16 years too and I can't imagine it all coming crashing down. I'd be in a bad way fo sho.

It's been pretty bad for sure, there are few positives to be gained from this at all. I have spoken to her on many occasions and only wish her the best but the thing that is the hardest to deal with is the thought of someone else sharing that house with her down the road.

[Soonerus]

You need an advocate...John Nicks...trust me...

[BudSooner]

Rus, trust me...I don't need legal advice, damn.
I've got that covered, oh hell nevermind.

[jeremy885]

Bud,

just make sure they don't put you on Paxil, if you need treatment. It tends to the kill your sex drive and make you suicidal (maybe there's a correlation). I was prescribed a small dosage for stress anxiety in the spring and my :les: decided to go into hibernation for a couple of months (maybe my wife gaining 40lbs in a year had a little to do with it too).

Good luck.

[olevetonahill]

As a Veteran Of just such a devorce Let me weigh in here .
Tell the Yainch to kick rocks. Go out, get drunk , get laid .
The fastest way to get over a woman Is with another .
And befor you wimmins go to yelling at me you know Im right .
Cause you do it also except you use guys .
Enjoy your Freedom Bro
Man I was married fer 16 yrs the 1st time 2 yrs the 2nd and 7 the 3 rd . Single fer 9 now and Happy as a pig eatin **** .
I doubt A woman could ever House break me again .
Good luck

[OUHOMER]

Sorry to hear that bud, my BIL is going thru this after 22 yrs of marriage.

[Okla-homey]

I need to see one, the past month has been a rollercoaster and the things with my wife(about to be ex)just got a little harder to deal with.

I just need someone to talk to, and don't know where to turn.

What I'm hearing is you need help with the emotional toll this is taking on you. You might consider starting with a pastor. Many have extensive counseling experience. If you peem me, I might be able to give you a steer.

Hang in there. While I haven't experienced it, because I married a very forgiving and understanding woman, I've always understood divorce can be the toughest thing a lot of people endure in their entire lives. Hang in there, and remember, this too shall pass and it will get better.

[Okieflyer]

Yeah this stinks. Are there any kids involved? I'll be sayin' a prayer for ya. Yeah get a hold of Okla-homey too.

[85Sooner]

Bud,

just make sure they don't put you on Paxil, if you need treatment. It tends to the kill your sex drive and make you suicidal (maybe there's a correlation). I was prescribed a small dosage for stress anxiety in the spring and my :les: decided to go into hibernation for a couple of months (maybe my wife gaining 40lbs in a year had a little to do with it too).

Good luck.

You may want to try a clergy member regardless if your religeous or not. Additionally having a place you can go and be welcomed and wanted is helpful during periods like this. Can't hurt, that is for sure. For anxiety
xanax but just take it when you need it. Sorry for the Pain Bud. hope things get better K?

[85Sooner]

As a Veteran Of just such a devorce Let me weigh in here .
Tell the Yainch to kick rocks. Go out, get drunk , get laid .
The fastest way to get over a woman Is with another .
And befor you wimmins go to yelling at me you know Im right .
Cause you do it also except you use guys .
Enjoy your Freedom Bro
Man I was married fer 16 yrs the 1st time 2 yrs the 2nd and 7 the 3 rd . Single fer 9 now and Happy as a pig eatin **** .
I doubt A woman could ever House break me again .
Good luck


Damn your old :)

[IB4OU2]

Thats not the advice I was referring to, more in the way of dealing with the mental pain....anxiety and such.
I've never before experienced a vervous breakdown but this is gotta be pretty close to it, letting go of someone you have spent 16yrs of your life with and to be told maybe we should get a divorce...it sucks to no end.
Just to clarify things, it has to do with depression and seperation.

:( I just went through this....get counseling if not for both of you then for yourself.

Fortunately everythings worked out for us and we are happier now than we ever were before....Getting advice from a proffesional psychologist you can learn alot about how to deal with different situations under any circumstance. The sun comes up everyday no matter what and I hope through the grace of God your pain will be eased.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Since when is 145 old?

[olevetonahill]

Damn your old :)
As groucho said " Im only as old as the wimmins I feel " ;)

[Sooner in Tampa]

My wife and will have been married 17 years later this month. We have been through some crap. On two different occasions we attended marriage counseling and it worked out great for us.

The reason it worked out though, was because both of us WANTED the marriage to work. That is the key.

I hope it works out for the best...whatever decision that ends up being.

[Okieflyer]

The reason it worked out though, was because both of us WANTED the marriage to work. That is the key.

No doubt about it!

[Widescreen]

My wife and will have been married 17 years later this month.
Why is your wife a bigamist? ;)

Sorry to inject levity in this thread. I really do hope things work out for Bud.

[FirstandGoal]

okay, from the sound of it you are not needing legal counsel or marriage counseling. As a member of the "been there, done that" club I cannot stress enough how very, very, very, very important it is to take care of yourself during this time and to get into a good counseling program.

Like others have said before me, the best place to start is with a church. If you go church already and they have such a program, then that is where I would start. If you do not, or they do not then peem me and I can give you the name of a church up there in Tulsa that more than likely has a program for you. I went through this program during my latest divorce 3 years ago and am thankful every single day that I discovered it.

[BudSooner]

You guys and wimmins are great, I appreciate the support on here so much you can't imagine.
I'm gonna seek the help of a pastor, and see how it goes from there...i'm not that religious but perhaps there is a silver lining there.

I went over tonight, and talked with here...made my peace by telling her "We have fought, loved, been good parents, shared many a laugh together but we both know this is the end of the road but make no mistake about it that deep in my heart I will always love you till the day they bury me.
And I wanted to ask your forgiveness for anything i've ever done to hurt you, I may not have you anymore to hold but I will always want to be able to talk as a friend"


Gawd i'm sappy but I felt so much better, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. :)

[Soonerus]

Good luck Bud, sounds like you are doing better...

[StoopTroup]

Check your PM Bud.

ST

[BudSooner]

Thanks Stoop, thats pretty interesting...i'll contact them.

[47straight]

Absolute best of luck to you man. I'll pray for you.

[BudSooner]

Well my friends, your well wishes may be paying off dividends.
I spoke at length to my wife, and after playing a game I came up with to just get each other speaking.....got her to agree to counseling.
Now things are a bit dependent on the kids going with us, but that shouldn't be a hurdle at all, and you know there before me was still the woman I loved and cherished weeping and telling me how she wants us to work towards the goal of getting back together.

From the bottom of my heart, you all are the best and I cannot think you enough for all the well wishes......you are all the greatest SoonerFans EVAR!!:D

Wish me luck!!!

[Flagstaffsooner]

I wish and pray for the best for you.

[olevetonahill]

Well my friends, your well wishes may be paying off dividends.
I spoke at length to my wife, and after playing a game I came up with to just get each other speaking.....got her to agree to counseling.
Now things are a bit dependent on the kids going with us, but that shouldn't be a hurdle at all, and you know there before me was still the woman I loved and cherished weeping and telling me how she wants us to work towards the goal of getting back together.

From the bottom of my heart, you all are the best and I cannot think you enough for all the well wishes......you are all the greatest SoonerFans EVAR!!:D

Wish me luck!!!

Tell her to fetch ya drink ! YWIA :pop:

[BudSooner]

Tell her to fetch ya drink ! YWIA :pop:

yer a turd. :D

[olevetonahill]

yer a turd. :D
Naw thats Ferguson Im a vet :P

[BudSooner]

Olefartonahill then. :D

[Flagstaffsooner]

Santana Lyrics (http://www.lyricsondemand.com/s/santanalyrics/index.html)

Mother's Daughter Lyrics (http://www.lyricsondemand.com/s/santanalyrics/mothersdaughterlyrics.html)
(Gregg Rolie)

Got no time for foolin' with you baby
Your stupid game is about to end.
You played it out.
Thought you had it made.
And it looks like someone passed you by again.

I left her standin' in her corner
She told me she was tryin' to find her way.
I've got to leave before I get much older
Cause she ain't moved in nearly forty days.

I've got a woman that's treatin' me better.
She takes her time and she ain't so cruel.
I've got someone to take you over
Your mother ain't so bad,
What happened to you?

[Scott D]

If it makes you feel better Bud, when I feel down at any time with my marriage, I go to oscn and look at my brother's divorce that has taken over 5 years and still isn't finalized.

[BudSooner]

If it makes you feel better Bud, when I feel down at any time with my marriage, I go to oscn and look at my brother's divorce that has taken over 5 years and still isn't finalized.

Must have alot of property disputes huh? man that sucks, I wish the guy the best.....just damn.

[Scott D]

Must have alot of property disputes huh? man that sucks, I wish the guy the best.....just damn.

nah...they had a house...mortgage company took it back years ago. he's been living with a friend as a roommate after going back with my parents for awhile. I find it funny as hell that they started the process in April of 2002, and as of August of 2007 the court was ready to throw the entire thing out. It's pretty much been a custody battle when they actually bother to have any progress in the process.

[soonersweetie]

That is great news! Best of luck to both of you! Remember, where there is a will, there is a way!

[olevetonahill]

That is great news! Best of luck to both of you! Remember, where there is a will and money, some ones gonna die !
:pop:

[Seamus]

Bud,

Bro, I'm pullin' for ya. I know I still have n00bish tendencies and I'n lit as **** right now, but hang in there, and I hiope it goes well.

Seamus tries this approach: anything bad is God's way of testing you, and anything good is God's way of rewarding you.

I've failed a ****load of tests, probably many more. But I've been rewarded more than I deserve. Find someone or something to help you through this. You're going to be all right.

[BudSooner]

Bud,

Bro, I'm pullin' for ya. I know I still have n00bish tendencies and I'n lit as **** right now, but hang in there, and I hiope it goes well.

Seamus tries this approach: anything bad is God's way of testing you, and anything good is God's way of rewarding you.

I've failed a ****load of tests, probably many more. But I've been rewarded more than I deserve. Find someone or something to help you through this. You're going to be all right.

I've failed alot of tests, and felt the pain of failing them but when you don't learn from those mistakes then...more mistakes will be made.
i'm not sure that made sense but, today I called her and asked her what she thought of what I had asked her last night.
Her response was "i'm ready anytime to go to counseling, and I miss you also and want you back very soon"

I tell ya, even if the Sooners had shot blanks against texas...this weekend couldn't have been any better.

but it did.

[sanantoniosooner]

I'm glad to hear it.

[BudSooner]

Well well well, my how the worm has turned....she phoned me to say she's changed her mind totally and cannot leave her bf.

Somebody pour me some Tequila.....its Drunkeytown "Sunday night edition"

Oh yeah, I informed her that i'm going for the throat, and finishing the divorce this week no matter what....its ****ing over, good riddance to the yainch!

[SoonerBorn68]

Whoa dude. That's a 180 in a day. These things take time & it's an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved. I wouldn't make such a hasty decision while I was ****ed.

If you really love her, give her some time.

However it turns out I'll keep you in my prayers.

[BudSooner]

Thats just it, i've given her 8 months to sort out her feelings...and she's proceeded to stomp away at my heart.
**** it, i've got to start from scratch and maybe years later if and when she grows up...maybe just maybe I will "think" about it....but thats all i'm gonna do.


WWDD? or "What would Dean do?"

[Newbomb Turk]

hang in there Bud. I feel for ya.

I got tomorrow off thanks to Chris Columbus, so I'll have a drink with you in drunkytown.

[Okla-homey]

Thats just it, i've given her 8 months to sort out her feelings...and she's proceeded to stomp away at my heart.
**** it, i've got to start from scratch and maybe years later if and when she grows up...maybe just maybe I will "think" about it....but thats all i'm gonna do.


WWDD? or "What would Dean do?"

Whatever you do, I recommend following Davy Crockett's advice: "Be sure you're right, then go ahead."

Implicit in that advice is not looking back and avoiding "coulda, woulda, shoulda" stuff. That hindsight stuff is the stuff of untold lifelong agony and bitterness if you let it take hold.

Onward and upward my brutha. What does not kill me makes me stronger.

Could I possibly have included more cliches in this? Prolly not. But, I think they're all pertinent and solid.

[critical_phil]

yep, just take it one day at a time.

[BudSooner]

yep, just take it one bottle at a time.

Dude, as long as it's not Zima...then i'm cool.:D

[StoopTroup]

Sounds like she's doing you a favor.

Let her file.

Go on with your life.

It's not right of her to give you hope and then yank your chain.

[olevetonahill]

The bitch been playin you . Go for the Throat . go for the Kids , go for the House . Let her ****ing Boyfriend , give her a home .
Get your foot on her throat and dont let up .