Texas Haikus 2007 Edition

[yermom]

Colt is on the ground
Mack is out of bail money
Sooners roll again

[colleyvillesooner]

Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack

[Dr. Jelly Finger]

VY please come back
We can't play ball without you
Horns love Emerald Nuts

[Desert Sapper]

Whorns were cheering Buffs
Then K-State whupped their @$$es
Bevo is dinner

[cjames317]

'Bout time!

Bevo is nutless
and the horn fan is sackless.
Colt will be brainless.

[sooner518]

Colt vomits again
Mack claps harder than ever
But to no avail

[mxATVracer10]

Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack

I'm not sure what a Haikus is supposed to look like (even after a wikipedia search) but I'm pretty sure this is teh winnar! :texan:

[StoopTroup]

Bevo will die
The Sooner Schooner will roll
We'll own texas

[yermom]

I'm not sure what a Haikus is supposed to look like (even after a wikipedia search) but I'm pretty sure this is teh winnar! :texan:

five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas

[SanDiegoSoonerGal]

I know it's gross, but
I really hope the Sooners
Make Colt puke again.

[Ash]

The line's set at 10
Even Vegas thinks Whorns suck
Bombs away, Bradford

[Beef]

Screw Texas women.
Then a$$ rape their football team.
Dallas is teh win.

[OKC-SLC]

Good comes from haiku
the week of the Texas game.
Thank you to yermom.

[OKC-SLC]

Mack Brown is the same
before '05 and after.
Clap-clap-suck-clap-clap.

[MikeInNorman]

At Vincent Young U.,
Ask not for whom the Mack claps;
Coach Brown claps for thee.

[MikeInNorman]

No more hardware, Horns.
Vincent Young is a Titan,
Mack Brown claps in vain.

[MikeInNorman]

Too bad for Mack Brown
Players are in the slammer
And not the clapper.

[MikeInNorman]

The Texas Longhorns
lead new statistical list:
Most Complete Tasers.

[silverwheels]

Lift up the mouthpiece
Clap clap clap clap clap clap spit
Clap clap clap clap clap

[mikeelikee]

The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away

[Collier11]

Mack Has Herps again
Colt was fallated by Mack
Now Colt has Herpies

[mdklatt]

Burnt orange band plays
Stupid railroad song only
for pregame. Shutout.

Stunned Longhorns in stands
DeMarco runs for six scores
Mack can only clap

Bright blue autumn sky
Not even a breath of wind
Must be time to punt

Pungent odor wafts
Across Cotton Bowl's west end
Bevo took a dump

[mdklatt]

The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away

:les: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

[cjames317]

It's Saturday night.
Colt wanders Fair Park, mumbling
"Fried Taters, MMMM HMMM"

[Collier11]

The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away



IM A MAN AND I CANT TAKE BAD HAIKU'S, WAS THIS DONE BY A MOTHER WITH CHILDREN??? [hairGel]

[sooneron]

Mack's puzzled again
The Sooners fire has returned
Greg Davis snoozing

[sooneron]

Boomer Sooner Plays
The pride is too exhausted
Lidg8tor sobs

[sooneron]

Cool starry night looms
Another Stoops string begins
whorn beers wet with tears

[mdklatt]

Milwaukee viewers
Get Iowa at Penn State
Shed some tears for us

:mad: :(

[Dio]

whorns open Big 12
with 2 losses in a row
Holiday Bowl soon

yellowtooth clapping
McCaunagey smoking doob
players arrested

Mad dog man-boobs droop
Chizik gets killed at I-State
Syracuse just blows

[Landthief 1972]

The Pride out of breath
You would be too from playing
After nine touchdowns.

[TMcGee86]

whorns dream of big win
but then they remember that
Davis still OC

[Ash]

Mack said "I'm clueless
about college football" once.
After Vince, it shows.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Losing hurts my heart...
Kill teh horsepigs, plzkthx...
I haz a whorn hate.

[soonerloyal]

The eyes of Texas
Have been blackened once again
In the Cotton Bowl
(Yeah, I know...not original - the announcers said it in non-Haiku form in 2000, but it's still worth repeating.)


Sooners roll on in
Bringing destruction and loss
To the orange and white

Bad polyester
Melts in a burnt orange layer
On the tu band

With tears and silence
Sit the sad, stunned orange faithful
Makes the Sooners smile

Another seven
Adds to the total pwnage
Of the sad texans

Stoops stares with steely
Courage, and calls another
Trick play to beat them

Seconds tick quickly
Away as the longhorns face
Yet another loss

Boomer Sooner chants
Fill the Oklahoma side
As we win once more

The Golden Hat is
In the rightful hands as we
Plant our flag onfield

Bradford and Kelly
Look o'er the Sooner Nation
And smile in triumph

The trip back up to
Norman is filled with laughter
As players rejoice

Mack Brown remembers
And cries into his pillow
For the Vince Young days

Oklahoma owns
Texas mourns another loss
Order is restored


:P

[Viking Kitten]

Sad whorns make me laugh
At Bevo's corpse on the field
Mack makes excuses

[soonerboy_odanorth]

So Buffs beat Sooners
'Cats p***ed on 'Horns in Austin
OU dominates

[Seamus]

Marijuana-fueled
Longhorns terrorize Austin:
Incarceration

[Seamus]

Oklahoma rolls;
hornfans dot com will melt down.
Keep Mack forever.

[Seamus]

five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas

Best haiku EVAR!!!!11!!!1!!

[aero]

mack and weak assed team
just like a whorn cheerleader
goes down, down, down, down

[KantoSooner]

OU scores again
Tears in beady, close-set eyes
Horn futility

[aero]

Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack

whorns are really skeered now
too stupid to figure out
they never had sacks

[nmsoonergirl]

Sam throws to Kelley,
Joe Jon, Juaquin, and Gresham
Poor Colt takes a knee

[nmsoonergirl]

Already I dread
the eyes of texas crap song
stupid fringed whorn band

[AlbqSooner]

This week in Dallas
Horns bend over for phallus
Sooners drive it home

[A Sooner in Texas]

The "eyes of Texas"
are upon OU's blowout.
Mack claps, Colt vomits.

[OUstud]

Straight outta Austin:
Crazy felons named Longhorns
Who suck at football

[OUMallen]

Whorns like getting spanked
by the crimson, but lately
handcuffs in order?

[sooneron]

five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas
Five stars mosoon says
Old soonerfans once did this
Chance Mock- Me Chan ****?

[GrapevineSooner]

Texas run defense
UCF did run over
Our backs are better

[rubyspirit]

Sooner fan for life ...
Texas jokes are dumb and lame ...
Malcolm Kelly rules!

[GrapevineSooner]

somewhere there's a bus
con man did steal our money
is that longhorn bob?

[aero]

whorns in the pokey
colt mccoy needs to pukey
mack claps like a seal

[Sooner1979]

I am not Chris Simms
but we big suck *** again
Sixty Six to ten

[aero]

somewhere there's a bus
con man did steal our money
is that longhorn bob?

longhorn bob it was
typical texan blow hard
left them high and dry

[GrapevineSooner]

firegregdavis.com *
is domain available?
after saturday?

* the dot in dot-com shall not considered a syllable for the purposes of this haiku

[GrapevineSooner]

what is a gagree?
Vince Young obviously thinks
at UT, you get

[Seamus]

Recto-cranial
inversion -- what does it mean?
Mack has head up azz.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Horns call for a change
"Can jail jumpsuits be burnt orange?"*
Pumpkin orange aint right.

*The word "orange" is pronounced "ornj" in this haiku for 1 syllable.

[TMcGee86]

Whorns fear all buffs did
was wake a sleeping giant
can you say... blowout?

[TMcGee86]

Whorns claim they will win
This is inakrit garbage.
Makes me wanna puke






[hairGel]

[SanDiegoSoonerGal]

All I have to say...
is "Matthew McConaughey"
No punch line needed.

[Ash]

Toby Keith better
than Matt OhmygawdI'mghey
Sorry whorns, you lose

[SanDiegoSoonerGal]

If I had to choose
I would vote Stoops president
Mack Brown? NO! NEVER!

[Crucifax Autumn]

Sooners are OK
We'll beat their *** saturday
Longwhorns...They are gay!

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Take all the sausage
Made by Earl Campbell you want.
Selmon's 'que kicks ***.

[OUMallen]

Straight outta Austin:
Crazy felons named Longhorns
Who suck at football

FTW! I wonder if that marks the first time ever that someone made NWA lyrics into a haiku.

[OUMallen]

I hate hate hate hate
hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
hate texas longwhorns

[CincySooner]

time for team photo
OU was too strong again
now go plant the flag

whorn fans want answers
I'll answer that one for Colt
Could be Mack likes boys?

[aero]

Sooners have haiku
whorns have same old OU suck
mack is still clapping

[GrapevineSooner]

don't hate says coach Stoops
The bible says 'not OK'
but you can dislike

[Beef]

Wind out of whorns ***
Smells like the rest of Austin.
Screams from castration.

[BoomerGirl34]

COLT: He's a gelding
His manhood has been stolen
By angry Sooners

[cjames317]

Sobbing horn recruits
look for Coach Stoops afterward.
"Can we play for you?"

[MikeInNorman]

MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE [hairGel]
Says orange 40-year old;
Colt listened too well.

[MikeInNorman]

Mack wants respect, but
:mack: I"M A MAN!! I"M FIFTY-SIX!!!
Doesn't work as well.

[MextheBulldog]

Malcolm Kelly needs ball
Must get rock to receiver
Sooners roll tex ***

[MikeInNorman]

Mack doesn't know that
"A MOTHER........OF CHILDREN"[hairGel] does
not refer to him.

[MikeInNorman]

Mack hopes Gundy meant
"KIDS WHO DON"T DO THE RIGHT THING"[hairGel]
should not be picked on.

[Socrefbek]

Coprophagy is

Description of Longhorn Fan

An Eater of Dung

[silverwheels]

Those dumb ghey Longhorns
They still have the see-through pants
Wardrobe malfunction

[silverwheels]

One thing we all know:
Win or lose, Texas still sucks
Universal truth

[MikeInNorman]

Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.

[FirstandGoal]

Whorns overrated
exposed in the cotton bowl
reality bites

[aero]

Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.

excellent haiku
captured the essence quite well
tip my hat to you

[MextheBulldog]

Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.

*Winner winner chicken dinner!*

[ouwasp]

CU win is fluke
Eyes of Texas blackened
Oklahoma rolls

:)

[47straight]

Utex neg speks me
does not know about grey spek
forever noobie

[SoonerBK]

The Pride drinks all night
West end empty by the third
Mack answers for colt

[KRYPTON]

Little chunks of egg
Mixed with ennui and despair
Colt is lightheaded

Killebrew gets flagged
Tried to rectally love Sam
Long after the play

Colt you stupid (fool)!
Why did you throw that pass there?
That’s Red not Or-ange!

You lost, oh but-boo!
Now go back to your Sixth Street
And drink flat Zima

[cjames317]

"Ladies, Gentlemen!
The Pride of Oklahoma!"
Deep breath, then "BOOOOOOMMMMMEEERRRRR!"

[Desert Sapper]

Whorns spanked in Dallas
Sooners on a major Roll
Back on track for EIGHT

[TMcGee86]

Whorns overrated
exposed in the k-state game
reality bites


fixed. ;)

[OklahomaRed]

Cochila' on you
You utterus few
Come give us your young
Cause they'll play for O.U.
Because your coach
Is having sex with his crew

[47straight]

Crank dat solja boy
Youtube records shame for all
Click on link and laugh


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4US7L6ypRk4

[Ash]

Cochila' on you
You utterus few
Come give us your young
Cause they'll play for O.U.
Because your coach
Is having sex with his crew

Wow, you just invented a new form of haiku, you should patent that.

[47straight]

No offensive line
But whorns claim sophomore slump
then bring out john chiles

[47straight]

where is "greaterstate"
mouth spews filth like el chavez
losses bring silence

[cjames317]

Saturday, at two,
Mack cries, "Play like Vince!" They do,
a la two thousand three.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Rick rack!!! Mack is whack
The Eyes of Texas are black;
Players selling crack.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Fletcher's Corny Dogs,
Beer and one more Sooner win
I can't hardly wait!

[Landthief 1972]

Mack Brown has herpes
All whorn players have groin sores
They all point to Mack.

[Landthief 1972]

You have the right to
remain silent is something
whorns hear every day.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

There's a special phone
That's called in emergencies
"Coach Mack, post my bail."

[JLB]

All of us know that
Mack Brown likes to be fisted
While hitting Colts A$$

[Kill Chomsky]

Smoke my twelve inch veal
Austin sixth-street boys’ oblige
Don’t taser me, bro.

[cjames317]

Down with the longhorns!
But I gotta give thumbs up
to the girls in chaps.

[Ash]

Friday before game,
Colty puts on lotion or
Mack gives him the hose

[cjames317]

Driving through Austin,
Flying the crimson and cream.
Boy, did that feel good.

[soonerwalt]

Sooners rolled
Whorns fold
and Mack's fake southern drawl is getting old.

[yermom]

crimson fans cheering
rain hides Texan tears falling
orange teeth gnashing