View Full Version : Texas Haikus 2007 Edition
yermom
10/2/2007, 03:26 PM
Colt is on the ground
Mack is out of bail money
Sooners roll again
colleyvillesooner
10/2/2007, 03:29 PM
Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack
Dr. Jelly Finger
10/2/2007, 03:34 PM
VY please come back
We can't play ball without you
Horns love Emerald Nuts
Desert Sapper
10/2/2007, 03:39 PM
Whorns were cheering Buffs
Then K-State whupped their @$$es
Bevo is dinner
cjames317
10/2/2007, 03:40 PM
'Bout time!
Bevo is nutless
and the horn fan is sackless.
Colt will be brainless.
sooner518
10/2/2007, 03:43 PM
Colt vomits again
Mack claps harder than ever
But to no avail
mxATVracer10
10/2/2007, 03:45 PM
Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack
I'm not sure what a Haikus is supposed to look like (even after a wikipedia search) but I'm pretty sure this is teh winnar! :texan:
StoopTroup
10/2/2007, 03:47 PM
Bevo will die
The Sooner Schooner will roll
We'll own texas
yermom
10/2/2007, 03:50 PM
I'm not sure what a Haikus is supposed to look like (even after a wikipedia search) but I'm pretty sure this is teh winnar! :texan:
five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas
SanDiegoSoonerGal
10/2/2007, 03:50 PM
I know it's gross, but
I really hope the Sooners
Make Colt puke again.
The line's set at 10
Even Vegas thinks Whorns suck
Bombs away, Bradford
Screw Texas women.
Then a$$ rape their football team.
Dallas is teh win.
OKC-SLC
10/2/2007, 04:08 PM
Good comes from haiku
the week of the Texas game.
Thank you to yermom.
OKC-SLC
10/2/2007, 04:10 PM
Mack Brown is the same
before '05 and after.
Clap-clap-suck-clap-clap.
MikeInNorman
10/2/2007, 04:28 PM
At Vincent Young U.,
Ask not for whom the Mack claps;
Coach Brown claps for thee.
MikeInNorman
10/2/2007, 04:29 PM
No more hardware, Horns.
Vincent Young is a Titan,
Mack Brown claps in vain.
MikeInNorman
10/2/2007, 04:30 PM
Too bad for Mack Brown
Players are in the slammer
And not the clapper.
MikeInNorman
10/2/2007, 04:34 PM
The Texas Longhorns
lead new statistical list:
Most Complete Tasers.
silverwheels
10/2/2007, 04:43 PM
Lift up the mouthpiece
Clap clap clap clap clap clap spit
Clap clap clap clap clap
mikeelikee
10/2/2007, 04:48 PM
The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away
Collier11
10/2/2007, 04:50 PM
Mack Has Herps again
Colt was fallated by Mack
Now Colt has Herpies
mdklatt
10/2/2007, 04:54 PM
Burnt orange band plays
Stupid railroad song only
for pregame. Shutout.
Stunned Longhorns in stands
DeMarco runs for six scores
Mack can only clap
Bright blue autumn sky
Not even a breath of wind
Must be time to punt
Pungent odor wafts
Across Cotton Bowl's west end
Bevo took a dump
mdklatt
10/2/2007, 04:54 PM
The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away
:les: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
cjames317
10/2/2007, 04:55 PM
It's Saturday night.
Colt wanders Fair Park, mumbling
"Fried Taters, MMMM HMMM"
Collier11
10/2/2007, 05:00 PM
The back of the Schooner opens
OUt pops a barbeque grill
Bevo craps a pile, then runs away
IM A MAN AND I CANT TAKE BAD HAIKU'S, WAS THIS DONE BY A MOTHER WITH CHILDREN??? [hairGel]
sooneron
10/2/2007, 05:00 PM
Mack's puzzled again
The Sooners fire has returned
Greg Davis snoozing
sooneron
10/2/2007, 05:03 PM
Boomer Sooner Plays
The pride is too exhausted
Lidg8tor sobs
sooneron
10/2/2007, 05:05 PM
Cool starry night looms
Another Stoops string begins
whorn beers wet with tears
mdklatt
10/2/2007, 05:08 PM
Milwaukee viewers
Get Iowa at Penn State
Shed some tears for us
:mad: :(
whorns open Big 12
with 2 losses in a row
Holiday Bowl soon
yellowtooth clapping
McCaunagey smoking doob
players arrested
Mad dog man-boobs droop
Chizik gets killed at I-State
Syracuse just blows
Landthief 1972
10/2/2007, 05:13 PM
The Pride out of breath
You would be too from playing
After nine touchdowns.
TMcGee86
10/2/2007, 05:18 PM
whorns dream of big win
but then they remember that
Davis still OC
Mack said "I'm clueless
about college football" once.
After Vince, it shows.
BlondeSoonerGirl
10/2/2007, 05:24 PM
Losing hurts my heart...
Kill teh horsepigs, plzkthx...
I haz a whorn hate.
soonerloyal
10/2/2007, 05:54 PM
The eyes of Texas
Have been blackened once again
In the Cotton Bowl
(Yeah, I know...not original - the announcers said it in non-Haiku form in 2000, but it's still worth repeating.)
Sooners roll on in
Bringing destruction and loss
To the orange and white
Bad polyester
Melts in a burnt orange layer
On the tu band
With tears and silence
Sit the sad, stunned orange faithful
Makes the Sooners smile
Another seven
Adds to the total pwnage
Of the sad texans
Stoops stares with steely
Courage, and calls another
Trick play to beat them
Seconds tick quickly
Away as the longhorns face
Yet another loss
Boomer Sooner chants
Fill the Oklahoma side
As we win once more
The Golden Hat is
In the rightful hands as we
Plant our flag onfield
Bradford and Kelly
Look o'er the Sooner Nation
And smile in triumph
The trip back up to
Norman is filled with laughter
As players rejoice
Mack Brown remembers
And cries into his pillow
For the Vince Young days
Oklahoma owns
Texas mourns another loss
Order is restored
:P
Viking Kitten
10/2/2007, 06:23 PM
Sad whorns make me laugh
At Bevo's corpse on the field
Mack makes excuses
soonerboy_odanorth
10/2/2007, 06:29 PM
So Buffs beat Sooners
'Cats p***ed on 'Horns in Austin
OU dominates
Seamus
10/2/2007, 06:48 PM
Marijuana-fueled
Longhorns terrorize Austin:
Incarceration
Seamus
10/2/2007, 06:50 PM
Oklahoma rolls;
hornfans dot com will melt down.
Keep Mack forever.
Seamus
10/2/2007, 06:54 PM
five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas
Best haiku EVAR!!!!11!!!1!!
mack and weak assed team
just like a whorn cheerleader
goes down, down, down, down
KantoSooner
10/2/2007, 07:02 PM
OU scores again
Tears in beady, close-set eyes
Horn futility
Sooners will bounce back
Horns will leave early this year
I will tear your sack
whorns are really skeered now
too stupid to figure out
they never had sacks
nmsoonergirl
10/2/2007, 07:33 PM
Sam throws to Kelley,
Joe Jon, Juaquin, and Gresham
Poor Colt takes a knee
nmsoonergirl
10/2/2007, 07:42 PM
Already I dread
the eyes of texas crap song
stupid fringed whorn band
AlbqSooner
10/2/2007, 07:54 PM
This week in Dallas
Horns bend over for phallus
Sooners drive it home
A Sooner in Texas
10/2/2007, 08:25 PM
The "eyes of Texas"
are upon OU's blowout.
Mack claps, Colt vomits.
OUstud
10/2/2007, 09:25 PM
Straight outta Austin:
Crazy felons named Longhorns
Who suck at football
OUMallen
10/2/2007, 09:28 PM
Whorns like getting spanked
by the crimson, but lately
handcuffs in order?
sooneron
10/2/2007, 09:30 PM
five syllables first
seven on the second line
five more Mock Texas
Five stars mosoon says
Old soonerfans once did this
Chance Mock- Me Chan ****?
GrapevineSooner
10/2/2007, 09:32 PM
Texas run defense
UCF did run over
Our backs are better
rubyspirit
10/2/2007, 09:40 PM
Sooner fan for life ...
Texas jokes are dumb and lame ...
Malcolm Kelly rules!
GrapevineSooner
10/2/2007, 09:43 PM
somewhere there's a bus
con man did steal our money
is that longhorn bob?
whorns in the pokey
colt mccoy needs to pukey
mack claps like a seal
Sooner1979
10/2/2007, 09:48 PM
I am not Chris Simms
but we big suck *** again
Sixty Six to ten
somewhere there's a bus
con man did steal our money
is that longhorn bob?
longhorn bob it was
typical texan blow hard
left them high and dry
GrapevineSooner
10/2/2007, 10:26 PM
firegregdavis.com *
is domain available?
after saturday?
* the dot in dot-com shall not considered a syllable for the purposes of this haiku
GrapevineSooner
10/2/2007, 10:32 PM
what is a gagree?
Vince Young obviously thinks
at UT, you get
Seamus
10/2/2007, 10:35 PM
Recto-cranial
inversion -- what does it mean?
Mack has head up azz.
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
10/2/2007, 10:40 PM
Horns call for a change
"Can jail jumpsuits be burnt orange?"*
Pumpkin orange aint right.
*The word "orange" is pronounced "ornj" in this haiku for 1 syllable.
TMcGee86
10/2/2007, 10:50 PM
Whorns fear all buffs did
was wake a sleeping giant
can you say... blowout?
TMcGee86
10/2/2007, 10:54 PM
Whorns claim they will win
This is inakrit garbage.
Makes me wanna puke
[hairGel]
SanDiegoSoonerGal
10/2/2007, 11:14 PM
All I have to say...
is "Matthew McConaughey"
No punch line needed.
Toby Keith better
than Matt OhmygawdI'mghey
Sorry whorns, you lose
SanDiegoSoonerGal
10/3/2007, 12:32 AM
If I had to choose
I would vote Stoops president
Mack Brown? NO! NEVER!
Crucifax Autumn
10/3/2007, 01:58 AM
Sooners are OK
We'll beat their *** saturday
Longwhorns...They are gay!
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
10/3/2007, 06:38 AM
Take all the sausage
Made by Earl Campbell you want.
Selmon's 'que kicks ***.
OUMallen
10/3/2007, 09:04 AM
Straight outta Austin:
Crazy felons named Longhorns
Who suck at football
FTW! I wonder if that marks the first time ever that someone made NWA lyrics into a haiku.
OUMallen
10/3/2007, 09:06 AM
I hate hate hate hate
hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
hate texas longwhorns
CincySooner
10/3/2007, 09:15 AM
time for team photo
OU was too strong again
now go plant the flag
whorn fans want answers
I'll answer that one for Colt
Could be Mack likes boys?
Sooners have haiku
whorns have same old OU suck
mack is still clapping
GrapevineSooner
10/3/2007, 09:58 AM
don't hate says coach Stoops
The bible says 'not OK'
but you can dislike
Wind out of whorns ***
Smells like the rest of Austin.
Screams from castration.
BoomerGirl34
10/3/2007, 10:32 AM
COLT: He's a gelding
His manhood has been stolen
By angry Sooners
cjames317
10/3/2007, 10:34 AM
Sobbing horn recruits
look for Coach Stoops afterward.
"Can we play for you?"
MikeInNorman
10/3/2007, 12:55 PM
MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE [hairGel]
Says orange 40-year old;
Colt listened too well.
MikeInNorman
10/3/2007, 12:59 PM
Mack wants respect, but
:mack: I"M A MAN!! I"M FIFTY-SIX!!!
Doesn't work as well.
MextheBulldog
10/3/2007, 01:00 PM
Malcolm Kelly needs ball
Must get rock to receiver
Sooners roll tex ***
MikeInNorman
10/3/2007, 01:09 PM
Mack doesn't know that
"A MOTHER........OF CHILDREN"[hairGel] does
not refer to him.
MikeInNorman
10/3/2007, 01:15 PM
Mack hopes Gundy meant
"KIDS WHO DON"T DO THE RIGHT THING"[hairGel]
should not be picked on.
Socrefbek
10/3/2007, 01:33 PM
Coprophagy is
Description of Longhorn Fan
An Eater of Dung
silverwheels
10/3/2007, 01:39 PM
Those dumb ghey Longhorns
They still have the see-through pants
Wardrobe malfunction
silverwheels
10/3/2007, 01:58 PM
One thing we all know:
Win or lose, Texas still sucks
Universal truth
MikeInNorman
10/3/2007, 02:31 PM
Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.
FirstandGoal
10/3/2007, 05:25 PM
Whorns overrated
exposed in the cotton bowl
reality bites
Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.
excellent haiku
captured the essence quite well
tip my hat to you
MextheBulldog
10/3/2007, 08:23 PM
Sirens and bongos.
Haze of doob, chirp of clapping.
Autumn in Austin.
*Winner winner chicken dinner!*
ouwasp
10/4/2007, 12:01 AM
CU win is fluke
Eyes of Texas blackened
Oklahoma rolls
:)
47straight
10/4/2007, 01:05 AM
Utex neg speks me
does not know about grey spek
forever noobie
SoonerBK
10/4/2007, 09:10 AM
The Pride drinks all night
West end empty by the third
Mack answers for colt
KRYPTON
10/4/2007, 09:29 AM
Little chunks of egg
Mixed with ennui and despair
Colt is lightheaded
Killebrew gets flagged
Tried to rectally love Sam
Long after the play
Colt you stupid (fool)!
Why did you throw that pass there?
That’s Red not Or-ange!
You lost, oh but-boo!
Now go back to your Sixth Street
And drink flat Zima
cjames317
10/4/2007, 10:33 AM
"Ladies, Gentlemen!
The Pride of Oklahoma!"
Deep breath, then "BOOOOOOMMMMMEEERRRRR!"
Desert Sapper
10/4/2007, 11:26 AM
Whorns spanked in Dallas
Sooners on a major Roll
Back on track for EIGHT
TMcGee86
10/4/2007, 11:47 AM
Whorns overrated
exposed in the k-state game
reality bites
fixed. ;)
OklahomaRed
10/4/2007, 11:55 AM
Cochila' on you
You utterus few
Come give us your young
Cause they'll play for O.U.
Because your coach
Is having sex with his crew
47straight
10/4/2007, 12:01 PM
Crank dat solja boy
Youtube records shame for all
Click on link and laugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4US7L6ypRk4
Cochila' on you
You utterus few
Come give us your young
Cause they'll play for O.U.
Because your coach
Is having sex with his crew
Wow, you just invented a new form of haiku, you should patent that.
47straight
10/4/2007, 12:36 PM
No offensive line
But whorns claim sophomore slump
then bring out john chiles
47straight
10/4/2007, 12:40 PM
where is "greaterstate"
mouth spews filth like el chavez
losses bring silence
cjames317
10/4/2007, 01:51 PM
Saturday, at two,
Mack cries, "Play like Vince!" They do,
a la two thousand three.
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
10/4/2007, 04:27 PM
Rick rack!!! Mack is whack
The Eyes of Texas are black;
Players selling crack.
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
10/4/2007, 04:29 PM
Fletcher's Corny Dogs,
Beer and one more Sooner win
I can't hardly wait!
Landthief 1972
10/4/2007, 04:51 PM
Mack Brown has herpes
All whorn players have groin sores
They all point to Mack.
Landthief 1972
10/4/2007, 04:53 PM
You have the right to
remain silent is something
whorns hear every day.
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
10/4/2007, 05:41 PM
There's a special phone
That's called in emergencies
"Coach Mack, post my bail."
All of us know that
Mack Brown likes to be fisted
While hitting Colts A$$
Kill Chomsky
10/5/2007, 01:18 AM
Smoke my twelve inch veal
Austin sixth-street boys’ oblige
Don’t taser me, bro.
cjames317
10/5/2007, 09:26 AM
Down with the longhorns!
But I gotta give thumbs up
to the girls in chaps.
Friday before game,
Colty puts on lotion or
Mack gives him the hose
cjames317
10/8/2007, 10:33 AM
Driving through Austin,
Flying the crimson and cream.
Boy, did that feel good.
soonerwalt
10/8/2007, 10:55 AM
Sooners rolled
Whorns fold
and Mack's fake southern drawl is getting old.
yermom
10/8/2007, 11:00 AM
crimson fans cheering
rain hides Texan tears falling
orange teeth gnashing
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