PDA

View Full Version : What's a young man to do?



1stTimeCaller
9/27/2007, 12:16 AM
I was hanging out with an older crowd tonight and long story short one lady tells me 'nobody ever rubs me, anywhere.' 'Anywhere'

She said this with that look in her eye. Her husband was there. She's all kinds of smokin hot.

Two years ago at the same place I was dancing on a table and she walked up to put a dollar in my pants but she opted for the up the shorts move. I was wearing boxers. She felt my rollies. Her hand cupped and lightly squeezed my boys then left the dollar.

You guys have no idea how hot this lady is. None.

Fantasy in my head or make it hapen in real life?

Morals vs. weiner, who wins?

SoonerTerry
9/27/2007, 12:38 AM
if the has already fondled the twins.. isn't it a little late for the moral delimna?

but hit it anyway

tommieharris91
9/27/2007, 02:14 AM
Two phrases:

TTIWWP

and

PIITB.

Ardmore_Sooner
9/27/2007, 02:20 AM
TTIWWP



I second that notion. :rolleyes:

Mongo
9/27/2007, 05:58 AM
older woman, huh


Change your handle to 1stTimeSoonerStormChaserCaller

Okla-homey
9/27/2007, 06:08 AM
It's generally best to avoid plowing another man's field. Many a hillbilly has been kilt by a PO-ed husband for such doings. In short, nothing good can possibly come of it...including you.

sanantoniosooner
9/27/2007, 07:03 AM
Marriages end all the time.

Darned if I want to contribute to someone else's hitting the stop sign.

sanantoniosooner
9/27/2007, 07:05 AM
and a dude......table dancing?

Go join Sic'em for a time out.

olevetonahill
9/27/2007, 07:40 AM
Marriages end all the time.

Darned if I want to contribute to someone else's hitting the stop sign.
If shes playing with other mens Boys , then taht marriage is more wide open than martins or its ALREADY hit a brick wall .

OUDoc
9/27/2007, 07:58 AM
I agree with Homey. Nothing but very bad things can happen.

OU4LIFE
9/27/2007, 08:03 AM
I agree with Homey. Nothing but very bad things can happen.

which is exactly why I encourage 1tc to go for it!

jk the sooner fan
9/27/2007, 08:06 AM
2 rules.

1. only give her half
2. stick and move

crawfish
9/27/2007, 08:21 AM
Samson said to them,
"If you had not plowed with my heifer,
you would not have solved my riddle."

Then the Spirit of the LORD came upon him in power. He went down to Ashkelon, struck down thirty of their men, stripped them of their belongings and gave their clothes to those who had explained the riddle. Burning with anger, he went up to his father's house. And Samson's wife was given to the friend who had attended him at his wedding.

DO NOT PLOW WITH ANOTHER MAN'S HEIFER!!!

IB4OU2
9/27/2007, 08:39 AM
Nothin' but trouble buddy...

OUDoc
9/27/2007, 08:49 AM
You don't mow another man's lawn.


Any others?

sooner_born_1960
9/27/2007, 08:51 AM
DO NOT PLOW WITH ANOTHER MAN'S HEIFER!!!
You missed the part about her being smokin' hawt, didn't you. :D

OUDoc
9/27/2007, 08:58 AM
Okay, get her to email her provocative photos to you, you send them to me and I'll let you know what to do.

SoonerBOI
9/27/2007, 08:59 AM
I am very old fashioned 29 year old guy. I say morals.

colleyvillesooner
9/27/2007, 09:00 AM
no way dude...

TexasLidig8r
9/27/2007, 09:01 AM
Scooter... you know of course what they are looking for...

They are into ...

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/kta/lowres/ktan35l.jpg

Taxman71
9/27/2007, 09:22 AM
In the words of Sam Malone, there are 3 kinds of women you don't mess with:

1. Married
2. Underaged
3. Comatosed

I say no.......for now.

Partial Qualifier
9/27/2007, 10:49 AM
There might be a reason her husband ain't hittin it :eek:

so it would really suck to risk your own health & well-being for one of those oops!-sneak-out-the-bathroom-window deals :O

JohnnyMack
9/27/2007, 10:58 AM
Pass.

Do you really wanna mess around with a chick who would give you an unsolicited marble caress?

Soonrboy
9/27/2007, 10:59 AM
Pass...too much possible drama

TexasLidig8r
9/27/2007, 11:07 AM
Besides.. aren't you being monogomous with Bonnie these days? Or.. is that just Howzit??? ;)

Tulsa_Fireman
9/27/2007, 11:34 AM
YOU CAN DO EET!


I'd ask her husband.

"Hey, buddy. Your wife wants to bang me. What's up with that, anyway?"

royalfan5
9/27/2007, 11:40 AM
Seems like a good way to get shot/stabbed to me

OCUDad
9/27/2007, 12:02 PM
Ask SicEm what he would do. Then do the opposite.

KABOOKIE
9/27/2007, 12:08 PM
What ever happened to the bang her and pee on her carpet method? Guaranteed to end all romances and she'll never mention it to her husband.

rufnek05
9/27/2007, 12:09 PM
Morals vs. weiner, who wins?


weiner. everytime.

sanantoniosooner
9/27/2007, 12:16 PM
If you start thinking with your NickZep you'll end up in bad shape down the road.

frankensooner
9/27/2007, 12:21 PM
If you start thinking with your NickZep you'll end up in bad shape down the road.

I don't see how anyone can think with a horses azz. ;)

Taxman71
9/27/2007, 12:47 PM
You could always take her to Wisconsin Badgers football game....guaranteed not to get caught.

olevetonahill
9/27/2007, 12:55 PM
Just Hit it !

frankensooner
9/27/2007, 12:57 PM
Sometimes you just have to ask "what would Ron Mexico do?"

Pricetag
9/27/2007, 01:05 PM
You don't mow another man's lawn.


Any others?
http://www.patfullerton.com/batman/pix/joker/joker1989-sm.jpg
Never rub another man's rhubarb!

toast
9/27/2007, 01:06 PM
boy I hope that's a dollar bill that never made back into circulation

OU4LIFE
9/27/2007, 01:23 PM
Dear 1tc,

the only thing you ever have to know about sex is "yes".

Your welcome.
4LIFE

stoopified
9/27/2007, 01:39 PM
It's generally best to avoid plowing another man's field. Many a hillbilly has been kilt by a PO-ed husband for such doings. In short, nothing good can possibly come of it...including you.True dat.

NormanPride
9/27/2007, 01:51 PM
boy I hope that's a dollar bill that never made back into circulation

Oh lord. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0hLR3EdDe4)


nsfw, language

1stTimeCaller
9/27/2007, 05:37 PM
I have made up my mind. Thanks for all of the good advice.

She's hot. Unbelievable hot.

Okla-homey
9/27/2007, 06:23 PM
I have made up my mind. Thanks for all of the good advice.

She's hot. Unbelievable hot.

I don't care how hot she is, that stuff ain't worth your carcass being ventilated by jacketed hollowpoints. Those things sting and they leave a mark. Plus, in the majority of such shootings, the aggrieved husband shoots the wife-doer in the junk. Sometimes before the headshot, sometimes afterwards. Either way, the junk gets shot. One just hurts more than the other.

I hope you are doing the right thing.

tulsaoilerfan
9/27/2007, 06:24 PM
I was hanging out with an older crowd tonight and long story short one lady tells me 'nobody ever rubs me, anywhere.' 'Anywhere'

She said this with that look in her eye. Her husband was there. She's all kinds of smokin hot.

Two years ago at the same place I was dancing on a table and she walked up to put a dollar in my pants but she opted for the up the shorts move. I was wearing boxers. She felt my rollies. Her hand cupped and lightly squeezed my boys then left the dollar.

You guys have no idea how hot this lady is. None.

Fantasy in my head or make it hapen in real life?

Morals vs. weiner, who wins?
No contest, weiner. :)

olevetonahill
9/27/2007, 06:43 PM
In the Famous words of "Geterdone"
" Guns dont kill people, Husbands that come early Do ":D

tulsaoilerfan
9/27/2007, 06:47 PM
If i was betting, i would say the hubby is okay with it.

Tulsa_Fireman
9/27/2007, 06:58 PM
Guns dont kill people, Husbands that come early Do

Early according to who?

Premature ejaculation my ***. As far as I'm concerned, I was just in time to get up and make a sandwich.

sooner_born_1960
9/27/2007, 06:59 PM
Hey we both started at the same time.

sooner_born_1960
9/27/2007, 06:59 PM
I think he meant "come home early".

sooner_born_1960
9/27/2007, 07:01 PM
If i was betting, i would say the hubby is okay with it.
Are you willing to bet 1tc's life? Oh, wait. I bet he doesn't mind either.

olevetonahill
9/27/2007, 07:10 PM
I think he meant "come home early".
Some times My two fingers are way out run by my thinking .
Thank you :D

1stTimeCaller
9/28/2007, 12:38 AM
I was at the 'ballet' tonight and she was all I could think of.

olevetonahill
9/28/2007, 12:41 AM
I was at the 'ballet' tonight and she was all I could think of.
Is that what Yall are calling the Strip clubs now ?

goingoneight
9/28/2007, 12:52 AM
Hit it and quit it, dood.


Nail and bail.

Shamrock
9/28/2007, 02:22 AM
Three pages and not one "this thread sux without pics" comment ....

tommieharris91
9/28/2007, 02:25 AM
Three pages and not one "this thread sux without pics" comment ....

Apparently you don't know what TTIWWP means. N00b.

Seamus
9/28/2007, 03:30 AM
I have made up my mind. Thanks for all of the good advice.

She's hot. Unbelievable hot.

Damn you to ****ing hell! How can I live vicariously through you without any ****ing pictures!?!?!?!?!?11111!!!11!!!!!?!?! :pop: :pop: :pop:

gh55
9/28/2007, 07:32 AM
youv'e been drinking so of course she looks hawt but
this is a row you would be best not to hoe.

Tulsa_Fireman
9/28/2007, 11:01 AM
DO EEET

http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Profiles/20061003/244.schnieder.rob.100206.jpg

TexasLidig8r
9/28/2007, 11:20 AM
lol.. This is not going to end well...

Ten seconds of pleasure... shotgunning a beer, peeing on the carpet.. and away you go...

crawfish
9/28/2007, 11:33 AM
Some times My two fingers are way out run by my thinking .
Thank you :D

Those fingers will be useful when you come early.

Tulsa_Fireman
9/28/2007, 12:52 PM
Have you hit it yet?


















What's the effing hold-up, huh?

Mjcpr
9/28/2007, 12:53 PM
Those fingers will be useful when you come early.

You're gross.

OU4LIFE
9/28/2007, 01:10 PM
gross like a fox!

soonerloyal
9/28/2007, 01:50 PM
Listen to a mama.

If that smokin'-hot hussy dares act like such a slut, over a long period of time, and in front of her husband - I'd say she's probably got things you might not want to trust a condom to protect you from. That includes a fed-up spouse with some kind of weapon.

With all the smokin'-hot decent choices out there on the wimmins buffet, do you really want to go for cheap, overcooked and possibly tainted meat?

And consider yourself slapped upside the head for even considering something your own mom would probably slap you for. Don't you kids ever LISTEN?

Tulsa_Fireman
9/28/2007, 02:32 PM
With all the smokin'-hot decent choices out there on the wimmins buffet, do you really want to go for cheap, overcooked and possibly tainted meat?

Yeah, but why drop hundreds on a steak from El Swanko De Walletbreaker when you can run down to McDonalds and 'snatch' up a burger for five bucks?

Not to mention they have a drive-thru.

C'mon, 1TC! Step up!

soonerloyal
9/28/2007, 02:50 PM
You are what you eat...

BudSooner
9/28/2007, 03:49 PM
Hmmm, gimme her number. :D

Taxman71
9/28/2007, 03:58 PM
I see this ending the same way as Boogie Nights ala William H. Macy.

C&CDean
9/28/2007, 04:02 PM
Dancing on a table is reserved for those once-a-decade drunks where you don't remember a damn thing, and are sick for about a week. If you dance on a table and remember doing it (and remember the fantasy of having some skank reach up your shorts and squeeze your rollies) then you have the same DNA as Sicem.

frankensooner
9/28/2007, 04:03 PM
I didn't know that fake messageboard posters had dna?

dolemitesooner
9/28/2007, 04:05 PM
hit it NOW

olevetonahill
9/28/2007, 04:11 PM
Those fingers will be useful when you come early.
:D :D :D :D :D :D

Okla-homey
9/29/2007, 06:11 AM
[QUOTE=1stTimeCaller]I was at the 'ballet' tonight /QUOTE]

In Ardmore? Heck, I did'nt even know we had one. I might have picked there to live instead of Tulsa had I known that.;)

sanantoniosooner
9/29/2007, 08:38 AM
and a dude......table dancing?

Go join Sic'em for a time out.

Dancing on a table is reserved for those once-a-decade drunks where you don't remember a damn thing, and are sick for about a week. If you dance on a table and remember doing it (and remember the fantasy of having some skank reach up your shorts and squeeze your rollies) then you have the same DNA as Sicem.
Exactly

1stTimeCaller
9/29/2007, 07:11 PM
Whatever. Some of you people are funny.

Homey, I was in OKC for the ballet. I had dinner with BigRedJed at Mickey Mantle's then we went to the nudie bar. Me and my buddy, not me and BRJ.

sanantoniosooner
9/29/2007, 07:13 PM
I hope you didn't nail that chick this weekend.

The way it's going you'd catch an STD and then a bullet.

Old Pride Member
9/29/2007, 10:26 PM
What ever happened to the bang her and pee on her carpet method? Guaranteed to end all romances and she'll never mention it to her husband.

:D That made me spit beer all over my screen !! Thanks for the laugh… :D

And I say don't HO(E) another man's row !!!! ;)

Okla-homey
9/30/2007, 05:13 AM
Whatever. Some of you people are funny.

Homey, I was in OKC for the ballet. I had dinner with BigRedJed at Mickey Mantle's then we went to the nudie bar. Me and my buddy, not me and BRJ.

Thanks for clearing that up. BTW, I wouldn't have taken you for a ballet kinda d00d. TB-guy maybe, but not ballet. You are a renaissance oil patch trash feller.;)

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
9/30/2007, 07:37 AM
Your buddy went with you to the ballet then the nudie bar?

1stTimeCaller
9/30/2007, 08:40 AM
SBSB, keep up, the ballet is the nudie bar.

BigRedJed
9/30/2007, 09:25 AM
Whatever. Some of you people are funny.

Homey, I was in OKC for the ballet. I had dinner with BigRedJed at Mickey Mantle's then we went to the nudie bar. Me and my buddy, not me and BRJ.
What the craphell? This post could mean one of three things:

You saw me in the bar at MM (I WAS there on Thursday night, with my business partner), recognized me, and failed to say hey. Boo.
You had dinner with someone who lied to you and told you that they were me. Weird.
You actually are my business partner, and forgot that we only had drinks at MM. This would indicate senility is setting in, in which case I would prefer that you forget your most recent capital contribution instead of forgetting where we had dinner. Oh, and you live in Florida, which throws all of your other posts into doubt.

1stTimeCaller
9/30/2007, 10:15 AM
I was across the bar from you towards the chick playing the keyboard. You and the bald guy looked like you were deep into conversation and I didn't want to embarass you by walking up and saying, 'Hey BRJ, I'm 1TC from the internets.'

It wasn't a shady not say hello like Coffeyville does to everyone. I just didn't want your business partner to think you were some weird internet dude.

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
9/30/2007, 02:22 PM
BRJ's business partner is from Florida? SoonerWill?

BigRedJed
10/1/2007, 05:03 PM
I was across the bar from you towards the chick playing the keyboard. You and the bald guy looked like you were deep into conversation and I didn't want to embarass you by walking up and saying, 'Hey BRJ, I'm 1TC from the internets.'

It wasn't a shady not say hello like Coffeyville does to everyone. I just didn't want your business partner to think you were some weird internet dude.
Good point. Considering he's also my longtime boss in another venture, it's prolly best that you didn't do that. Thanks for looking out for me.

Of course, you could have always said "man, we miss you over there... ...you hardly ever post anymore," and I could have told you that it was because I was busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest, and I would have looked really good and you would have been a hero. Oh well.

1stTimeCaller
10/1/2007, 05:53 PM
next time

Fraggle145
10/1/2007, 06:52 PM
Tell her the three biggest lies in the world... JMO

GottaHavePride
10/1/2007, 07:50 PM
It wasn't a shady stalker-like not say hello like OUAndy does to everyone. I just didn't want your business partner to think you were some weird internet dude.

Fixed.

yermom
10/2/2007, 09:48 AM
yeah, we finally met CVS :D

oh, heh "ballet"